Prologue
Lexi
There’s an albatross and a butterfly sitting on a tree branch. And they’re whispering, laughing, and chatting voraciously. I’m staring at them wanting to be a part of the conversation. But they can’t see me. They can’t see me because I’m hidden in a hole in the wall. And there’s a wide expanse of ocean between us. I feel afraid because I can see that the branch is about to crack. But the albatross and the butterfly are having such a good time they don’t notice. And I try to scream out, “Go back in, go back to the tree, get off of the branch.” But no words are coming out of my mouth. And then water starts coming in my hole. And it starts rising. And all I can think about is the branch cracking. And I’m trying to scream to warn them, but no sound comes out. And the water keeps rising. And then I hear the crack and I close my eyes. This is it, I think. This is it.
But suddenly I feel myself gaining consciousness again. I’m no longer in the dream. I didn’t die. It wasn’t me who died.
Chapter 1
Lexi
10 seconds. That’s how long it took for my world to fall apart. 10 agonizing seconds. Some people say that your life can change in a moment. It can be faster than a blink of the eye. One second, everything is fine—you’re going along your merry way, satisfied in the minutiae of your life; even if you’re not exactly pumped or overwhelmed, you still exist. Your heart still pumps and your brain keeps thinking and you just continue as you are.
That state of mind can also be known as barely existing. Because that is what it is for most of us. But any kind of existing gives us peace of mind. Well, that peace of mind can disappear in a second. Or 10 seconds. I know that now. Sometimes everything you’ve ever thought was important can disappear in a moment. And then your very existence is called into question.
“Lexi, Lexi, are you okay?” I opened my eyes to see Bryce standing over me with a worried expression on his ruggedly handsome face. His father stood in the doorway with a slightly anxious look on his; it was the first time I’d ever seen him not looking smug. Maybe he was worried that if I died in his house, he’d have to face my mom again. I knew that was the last thing that he would want. My mom had not taken it well when he had ended their relationship.
“Who died?” I whispered urgently, staring at his dad.
“I don’t know exactly.” He frowned. “I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I knew. We have to go down to the hospital to find out.”
“Dad!” Bryce barked at his father. “How irresponsible of you. You made Lexi think her mom had died. You should know better.”
Mayor Evans looked at Bryce with a murderous look on his face, but he caught himself before he said anything. “The police called me and told me there was a bad accident in town and that there had been a fatality. I don’t know who got hurt. We must go to the hospital.”
“Why do we need to go? You’re the mayor, this is your business.” Bryce frowned. “We have plans.”
“We should go, Bryce.” My voice was slightly louder. “We should go and make sure it is no one we know.” I felt my body tremble as I spoke, but I didn’t correct his incorrect assumption that I thought my mom had died. I felt guilty, but she hadn’t even crossed mind. Luke was all I could think about. I didn’t know what I would do if Luke was hurt. I pictured Luke’s—always friendly and happy to see me—green eyes and wondered if I would ever see the glow of life in them again.
My breath caught and I pinched myself so that I would stop thinking about the worst-case scenario. I needed to distract myself from what I thought was impending doom for not having been a good friend to Luke.
“Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket,” I started singing as I started to get up and I witnessed Bryce and his dad exchange a worried look and then look at me in concern.
“Are you okay, Lexi?” Bryce frowned. “Everything’s going to be ok.”
“Do you see what I see?” I sang, trying to blank his words from my mind. How could he know that everything was going to be okay? Nothing in my life ever seemed to be okay.
“What do you see?” Mayor Evans looked around the room and I laughed, nearly hysterically.
“It’s a song.”
“What’s a song?”
“Do you see what I see?” I sang again.
“I don’t know what you are seeing,” the Mayor answered, irritably. “Let’s get going.”
“Well maybe you should,” I retorted. “Maybe then you’d get a clue, you adulterer.” Oops, I had meant to say the last part in my head. I laughed at the look on his face.
“Excuse me. What did you just say to me?” The Mayor advanced towards me and Bryce stepped in between us.
“Dad, this is not the time.” His voice was harsh and he grabbed my arm. “Lexi likes to sing children’s songs when she feels stressed.” He smiled at me, knowingly. “It’s the way she copes and it’s something I love about her.”
My breath caught as he admitted his love for me in front of his father. There was really no coming out of this relationship now. I was partially thrilled and partially scared, but the gnawing in my gut overwhelmed both feelings.
“Come on, Lexi, let’s go to the hospital. You can sing in the car.”
“Thanks.” I smiled at him gratefully and studied his worried face. It seemed to me that Bryce frowned more than he smiled. Ironic, I thought to myself. Who would have thought that a gorgeous, rich guy like Bryce Evans would have anything to frown about? Certainly not me. I’d always thought he had the perfect life. Until Eddie killed himself. I had felt sorry for him in a weird way. I hated Eddie, well, somewhat, but I felt bad for what Bryce must have gone through. I knew he had to be hurting and that was why I had started sending the letters.
But that was before I knew the whole story. I hadn’t blamed Bryce for what had happened to Eddie then, and I guess I still didn’t, even after I knew what had gone down. At least I didn’t think I did. Everything was just too overwhelming for me to think about right now.
The Mayor’s cellphone rang again and he whispered into the phone. “Okay. I’m bringing my son and a local girl with me. I’ll be there soon.”
I saw Bryce’s ferocious expression before his dad’s words hit me. I thought they were kind of funny: me being called a local girl, like we lived in some sort of small village.