Chapter 3
Lexi
I tried to avoid Luke’s gaze as he walked up to me. I didn’t want to see the “I told you so,” in his eyes. I felt cold inside. I was in shock. How could Bryce have slept with Anna and, more importantly, how could Anna have slept with Bryce? She was meant to be my best friend. She was my oldest friend. She knew my secrets. She knew how much Bryce meant to me—how much he had always meant to me. I can remember the first time I ever told Anna about my crush on Bryce.
We had gone to our first high school football game as freshmen and we had played a game called If not him, then who? We basically chose a famous actor and said if we couldn’t date him, we would pick and then choose a guy from the football team. We couldn’t really see what the guys looked like in their uniforms, but we had been lucky to have gone to Jonesville High (where football reigned supreme) because the school created a leaflet with all the players’ photographs on it.
“Okay, if not Matt Damon, then who?” Anna had giggled at me as we sat huddled together in the bleachers, ignoring the game.
“Oh, it will be hard to match up to Matt Damon.” I had surveyed the leaflet and had immediately been struck by the confident and handsome gaze of Bryce Evans. “Him.”
“Ooh, he’s cute.”
“He’ll be my pick every time,” I laughed. “He could be an actor. He’s hot.”
“I think this Eddie guy is cuter,” she had laughed and pointed to a skinny looking guy.
“No way.” I stared out onto the field to see if I could see my new crush and, as luck would have it, he had scored the winning touchdown at that moment. “Touchdown for number 34, Bryce Evans.” The announcer had screamed through the speakers. “Jonesville High is riding high, folks.”
Anna and I had grinned at each other and she had cocked her head. “I bet you’re his good luck charm.”
“Yeah right.” I had rolled my eyes but felt a warm glow inside. Maybe she was right. He had scored the winning touchdown after I had chosen him as my favorite and been looking for him on the field.
“Wouldn’t it be great if we could date Bryce and Eddie, Lexi?”
“Yeah. It would be.” We both sighed and walked to the parking lot, so we could wait for Anna’s dad to pick us up.
“Lexi, are you okay. Lexi?” Luke’s voice interrupted my reverie and I felt him poking my arm.
“Sorry what?” I looked up at him in confusion.
“I said, are you okay?” The concern in his eyes took me back and I blinked.
“Yeah. I was just thinking.”
“He’s not worth it you know, Lexi.” His voice was low and agitated. “He’s always going to be the bad guy that hurts you. You deserve better than that.”
“You don’t know him like I do, Luke.” I sighed, too overwrought to have this conversation now. “You don’t know what he’s been through.”
“We’ve all been through stuff, Lexi.” His voice sounded angry.
“I know.” I stared at the top of his head. His hair needed cutting. Maybe I could convince him to give me a shot at playing barber again.
“Lexi, you deserve better than him.”
“Luke, I don’t want to talk about this now.”
“But I do, Lexi.” His voice was insistent. “Look at me, please.”
I slowly looked into his eyes and his eyes seemed to want to tell me a message. A message I didn’t want to hear. A message I didn’t want to see. I was too confused. Too hurt. Too wounded.
“I love you, Lexi.” He grasped my hands and pulled me towards him. “I love you so much, Lexi and I can’t stand to just watch you get hurt. I can’t stand to see your heart torn to pieces over some guy who doesn’t care two shits about you.”
“Luke,” I began, weakly; my brain was scrambling for something to say.
“Lexi. Can’t you see that we’re meant to be together?” He grabbed my hand and placed it over his chest. “Can’t you feel the beating of my heart? A heart that exists just to love and be loved by you.”
“Luke, please.” I cried and pulled away. I just can’t deal with this right now.
“Why can’t you answer me, Lexi?”
“Anna wants to date you. I can’t,” I whispered.
“Anna just slept with your boyfriend, Lexi.”
“No.” My breath catches and I close my eyes. “She can’t have.”
“Bryce told you himself.”
“Why would she do that to me?”
“I don’t know, Lexi.”
“I’m her best friend.” I looked at him wildly. “I drive her to work every day.”
“People do funny things, Lexi.”
“She knows how I feel about him.”
“What about me, Lexi?”
“I can’t do this right now, Luke. I’m too confused. Please.”
“You’re never ready, Lexi.” He sighed. “Do you want a ride home?”
“Please.” I looked down, embarrassed.
“Come. I’m parked around the corner.”
We walked in silence to his car. I felt ashamed of myself. I didn’t know what to say, what to feel. Luke had been my best friend for years, yet I felt so distant from him. So alone. I have no one now I thought to myself. I still couldn’t believe Anna had done this to me. How could she have done this to me? I felt a fire in my belly, a tingling pain of betrayal. But, as Luke drove me home, I also felt confusion. He loved me? A part of me was overwhelmed and exalted at the news. But everything was so complicated. I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know how to act. Bryce needed me. He was the one for me. He was my soul mate. And soul mates stuck together through thick and thin. I knew how much he had been through. I couldn’t leave him now. He would have no one. I couldn’t leave him with no one.
“I suppose you’re not going to answer me.” Luke spoke right before we pulled up to our street. “I suppose you want me to pretend that this conversation never happened.”
“I don’t know what to say, Luke.” I looked at him and sighed. “I’m just really confused.”
He laughed, a deep, rough guttural sound and I looked at him with sorrow. I wished he hadn’t told me how he felt. I wished he had kept it to himself.
“I’m sorry, Luke.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He parked the car and looked at me. “Did you know that I’m an albatross, Lexi?”