“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I got to meet Luke,” she mumbled, sucking on her thumb.
“Oh?”
“He…”
“I’ll explain more to Bryce, Shelby. You just sleep now. You’ve had too much excitement for the day.”
“The girl fell.” Shelby looked at us with worried eyes.
“Yes, but she’s okay now.”
“Good. She was pretty.” And, with that, Shelby closed her eyes. Luke pressed his hand to her forehead and stood there for a while, watching the girl.
“Is she your sister?”
He looked up at me in surprise and he stared into my eyes with a searching look. “No.” He spoke slowly, frowning.
“Your niece?”
“No.”
“Cousin?”
“She’s not related to me.” He ushered me towards the door. “I met her through volunteering.”
“Oh, okay.” It figured that Luke was a do-gooder. He was literally better than me in every way possible. I suppose it had to with our DNA, his parents must have both been good stock, while I had one parent that was likely related to Satan himself.
“Let’s make sure Lexi is okay.” Luke’s voice was firm and I followed him out of the room, stopping to look back at the bed before I walked out. Shelby looked so tiny and frail lying there. I felt my heart skip a beat as I stared at her peaceful face, sleeping. Life was so unfair sometimes. Such a small child should be running around and having fun—not sleeping in a hospital room. I wanted to ask Luke her story. For some reason I was drawn to this little girl.
“Everything okay, Lexi?” Luke grinned at Lexi and ruffled her hair. “Did you tell Anna I’m okay?”
“Yes.” She rolled her eyes. “She, like me, was ecstatic to hear the good news. But she will kill you if you ever put us through that again.” She wiped her eyes. “I didn’t know I could cry that much.”
“But I didn’t put you through anything.” He laughed easily and I wanted to punch him for laughing like everything was okay. Didn’t he realize what he had put Lexi through?
My phone started ringing again and I groaned as I saw my dad’s name on the screen again. “I am coming, Dad. Luke is okay. We are just—”
“—Bryce, you need to come downstairs and meet me in the lobby.”
“Lexi and I will be there in a minute.”
“Come alone, Bryce.” His voice caught and my heart skipped a beat. I’d never heard my father sound this serious and emotional before.
“What’s up dad?” I sighed into the phone, annoyed. I saw Lexi and Luke exchange a glance and look at me as I talked and I rolled my eyes to indicate my annoyance at my dad’s call.
“It’s your mother.”
“What about her?”
“She’s not well.” He paused and took a deep breath.
“What do you mean?” The blood drained from my face. “What’s wrong with her?”
Lexi clasped her hand to her mouth and looked at me with wide eyes.
“Come down, Bryce. Please.”
I hung up the phone and looked at Lexi with bleak eyes. I felt as if my body had just caught on fire. “My dad wants me to go downstairs to talk. Something’s wrong with my mom.”
“Your mom?” Lexi’s smile dropped from her face. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, no. I’ll go. I’ll be right back.” I knew I was walking because I was getting closer and closer to the elevator but I couldn’t actually feel my feet moving. The out-of-body sensation reminds me of how I felt going into combat the first time. It was surreal and deafening at the same time. As I got into the elevator, I watched as Lexi and Luke stood there together, watching me. It was a curious look; one I wasn’t used to. They looked like they pitied me. I’d never had anyone pity me before.
“Bryce.” My dad rushed up to me as soon as I got out the elevator and his eyes were red. That was even curiouser. He looked like he had been crying. My dad never cried. He had no need to—everything in his life was perfect. Just perfect.
“Where’s mom, dad?” The words echoed in my ear and I looked around to see who had spoken.
“She’s gone, Bryce.”
“Gone where?”
He put his head in his hands and I think he held in a gulp. It was all quite strange. “Bryce, it was your mom in the accident.”
“No.” I pulled his hands away from his face. “Stop lying.”
“Bryce, mom has died.”
“No.” This time my voice was firmer and louder. “No, she cannot be dead. She was going to leave you.”
“Bryce.” He looked at me with a strange pain in his face. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not me you should be apologizing to, dad, it’s mom. Go and find mom and apologize to her.”
“I’m sorry, Bryce,” he whispered.
“No. No you’re not sorry. Go and tell mom!” I shouted and pushed him. “Go and tell mom what a shitty husband you’ve been. You’re lying. She’s going to leave you.”
“I know.” His voice was quiet and a tear fell from his eye. “She had me served with divorce papers.”
“What?” I hadn’t known that my mom was actually strong enough to follow through with her words. I hadn’t expected her to really leave my dad. “What are you talking about?”
“Bryce, we can talk about this later. Do you want to see your mom before she is sent to the funeral home?”
“She’s not dead.” I sob. “She can’t be dead.”
“I don’t know what to say, Bryce.” He tried to put his arm around me and I shrug away from him forcefully.
“Don’t you dare touch me.” I pushed him hard, wanting to harm him in some way physical. “Where is she?”
“Let’s go and see her.”
“I want to see her by myself.” My head is pounding as if someone is hitting me with a hammer over and over again. “I need to see her by myself.”
“Just come with me. I’ll take you there and leave you alone with her.”
I counted the tiles as I followed my dad and try to walk on every other tile without touching the grout lines. I can only walk on the navy blue tiles, not the white ones, I tell myself. If I touch the white ones, even by mistake, the game is done and I lose. I can’t touch the white ones. I jump a little bit to make sure that I don’t even let my heel touch the white ones. But then my dad stopped right in front of me and I stumbled and land right in the middle of a white one. I wanted to scream. And I wanted to punch him hard. He made me lose the game.