“Can’t complain. What are you up to? Still going to school?”
“Yes.”
Marty adjusted his knit cap and studied Heath. “Were have you been hiding?”
“Afghanistan. Marines.”
“No shit? Well, good for you, brother.” There was a grudging respect on his face. “Glad you made it back safe.”
Heath nodded in acknowledgement.
“How’s your baby?” I asked politely.
“Good. She’s three.” He pulled out his cell phone and showed us a picture of a toddler wearing head to toe pink.
“Aw, she’s adorable.”
“Thanks. Tell Brian I said hey.”
“Brian and I don’t talk,” I told him, figuring there was no reason to lie about it.
He nodded. “Probably a good idea. Take care of yourself, Cat.”
“Thanks, you, too.”
“And for the record, I was never one to believe what they said about you two.”
That caught me off guard. “What did they say?”
“Oh, you know.” He looked uncomfortable, sorry that he’d brought it up. He looked at Heath, then down at the floor before back to me. “That there was a restraining order and whatever.”
“Against Heath?” I asked, now really surprised. “Of course not. We’ve never even had a fight. That’s totally stupid.”
“Well, like I said, I didn’t believe it.” He waved and moved back to the other side of the ferry.
“That was weird,” I said, cuddling up closer to Heath.
“Marty’s weird,” was his opinion. “But harmless.”
“I wonder if Tiffany knows anything about those rumors.” We had stopped at her house and said a quick goodbye before catching the ferry. It was snowing again, and the boat was rocking hard. Anyone not used to it probably wouldn’t be enjoying the sway and pitch. I didn’t mind, though I wished we’d had more time alone.
“I don’t think it really matters one way or the other.”
“You don’t care that people think I needed protection from you?”
He gave me an amused look. “Baby, people have been thinking the worst of me since birth. All I care is what you think of me.”
“Well, I think you’re awesome sauce.”
Heath laughed. “Oh, God. Don’t ever say that out loud again.”
I leaned over and whispered loudly, “Awesome sauce.”
“You’re damn lucky you’re cute.”
Now it was my turn to laugh. “I think I’d prefer to be beautiful. But considering I haven’t brushed my hair in two days, I’ll settle for cute.”
But he stared at me so seriously, so intently, my breath caught. “You are beautiful. I love the way you look right now, your hair everywhere, no makeup. You have eyes that hold me so tightly I could fight for the rest of my life and I’ll never escape.”
He had a way of drawing me to him and holding me there with his words, and I knew exactly what he meant. I was trapped too, caught in the depth and intensity of our passion. “There’s no escape for either of us.”
I didn’t want there to be.
Chapter Sixteen
We had to drive back to Orono separately because I had Aubrey’s car, but I didn’t mind. I took the roads in the snow at a leisurely pace, feeling a range of emotions that I wasn’t particularly anxious about. I just let them slide over each other, one at a time, layering sadness, excitement, fear, love, homesickness. None all consuming, but all valid.
I kept the radio on, but low, as a background hum, and when I parked on the street by the sorority house I was feeling peaceful. That lasted about as long as it took to walk to Aubrey’s room. I knocked and smiled when she opened the door.
“Hey.” I held the car keys out for her. “Thanks for letting me borrow the car. I really appreciate it.”
“You’re back sooner than I expected.” She took the keys and sat down at her desk, which was littered with soft drink cans. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I dropped down onto the edge of her bed, a smile creeping over my face that I tried to contain. “It started snowing pretty hard so I figured I needed to get back before I got stuck out there.”
“Sometimes I forgot you’re from an island. It seems weird that I’ve never seen where you grew up.”
“There’s not much to see, trust me.” My boots were snowy, so I kicked them off. “So… have you seen Ethan?”
“Yeah. He’s in bad shape.” Aubrey tilted her head. “You look okay, though. In fact, you look, I don’t know. Giddy.”
A blush creeped over my cheeks. “What? Why would you say that?”
Understanding dawned on her face. “Oh, my God,” she breathed. “You met Heath there, didn’t you? You went right back to hometown hottie.”
I wasn’t sure how to answer that. “We’re friends.” It was a non-answer and she knew it.
“So you keep saying. But be honest- did you have sex with him?”
Nodding, I tried to think of words to explain. I didn’t want to lie to my best friend, not after our conversation about being honest, no matter what. “He understands me, he knows me. Before Ethan there was Heath. So while I didn’t plan it, I don’t think it’s that surprising that I would want to talk to him when I was upset.”
“Talking is one thing. But having sex is another.” She shook her head. “I mean, you and Ethan were engaged! And a day after you break it off, you f**k someone else?”
It made me angry that she made it sound so cheap, so slutty. “Ethan broke up with me,” I said, firmly. “He asked me to choose between him or a friendship with Heath. I chose Ethan. Immediately. I didn’t even hesitate. Yet he broke up with me anyway. So I don’t see why I’m the villain here.”
She stared at me. “Ethan is my brother and he’s devastated by your break up. If he went out and got loaded and banged some chick, I would support you in calling him a douchenozzle. Because while even though I feel a ton of sympathy for him that would be a dick move. Sleeping with Heath is a dick move, Caitlyn. You could at least have waited until after you changed your relationship status online.”
Part of me thought she was right. And part of me thought she just didn’t understand. That no one would ever understand Heath and me.
“I’m not trying to hurt Ethan,” I protested. “This has nothing to do with him. If he hadn’t broken up with me, I would be with him. I was happy with him. But you have to understand, Aub, Heath and I…”