“What do you mean? We’re friends.” She took a bite of her sandwich and then put it down, chewing as if she was thinking about something.
“Is there a situation in which you might be more than friends?” I’d been waiting for her to ask me this. In fact, I was surprised she’d held out this long from asking.
“Lot,” I said, which made her look up from her sandwich.
“What?”
“Are you trying to set me up with him?” I pushed the rest of my lunch aside.
“No, why would I do that?” Lottie was a terrible liar.
“So you do want to set me up with him?”
She rolled her eyes and sighed.
“No. I just thought it might be good for you to go out with someone else. You know, play the field. And he’s a really nice guy, and he’s definitely into you. Plus, he doesn’t seem to care about the height difference, which shows he’s comfortable with himself. That’s really important.”
This was the first time Lottie had mentioned anything like this, and I could tell there was more to it than she was saying, but I couldn’t figure out what angle she was trying to work.
“I don’t want to date him. I broke up with Will, not because I didn’t want to date him, but because I didn’t want to date anyone. It’s just not for me right now.”
“Oh,” she said, sitting back in her chair and reminding me a lot of her brother.
“I told you that.” I had. Several times.
“I guess.”
“I can’t explain it, but that’s just the way it has to be. I’m fine by myself. In fact, before I started hanging out with you, I didn’t really have any friends, so believe it or not, I’ve made progress.” That made her smile and pick up her sandwich again.
“There’s hockey this weekend. Do you want to go? Will and the guys are all over it, but I’d rather not freeze my ass off alone, if I can help it.”
“Sure.” It would mean seeing Will get all adorable and excited about the game, but I didn’t have anything else to do besides homework, and that sounded depressing.
I didn’t used to care about spending so much time alone, but things had changed.
“Awesome. We should go stock up on hand-warmers or something. And maybe we can sneak in coffee. The stuff they sell is crazy expensive.”
We parted and she agreed to pick me up that night and take me over to dinner at her apartment. I felt odd eating at her place every night, but she refused to listen when I offered to buy groceries, or cook my own food, or help in any way. One of these days I was going to have to get her back.
6
I was a little surprised that Lottie had managed to convince Aud to come to the hockey game on Saturday night, but I was even more surprised when she showed up with a strange guy, who turned out to be the one I’d seen her laughing with and had contemplated punching. Shitfuck.
“Hey, everyone, this is Tyler. He’s in mine and Lottie’s English class,” she said and Tyler waved to the collective group. I nodded at him and put on a smile when Audrey said my name. Lottie had been standing next to me, but with the arrival of Tyler, she’d moved to stand next to Audrey. If this guy was in Lottie’s English class, then that meant she knew he existed before this moment, yet she had NEVER mentioned him.
The feeling that had gone through me when I’d seen the two of them laughing roared to life again, and I pulled out my phone and texted Lottie.
What the hell, Lot? Did you know he was coming?
It took a minute for her to realize her phone was going off. She pulled it out of her pocket and I watched her eyes scan the glowing screen. As soon as she finished, she looked up and glared at me, but didn’t say a word. I saw her fingers flying as she typed a response.
Yes. Are you jealous?
She looked at me with one eyebrow raised. Everyone else was too busy looking to see if the line was moving at all to notice our interaction. Hockey was such a huge deal at Dirigo University that you had to get in line at least two hours before the game in order to get a seat. Waiting was all part of the fun. Not that I was currently having any fun, watching Audrey chat with Tyler.
Tyler. Figured that would be his name.
So what if I am? Am I not allowed to be jealous?
I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but Lottie was different. She knew I was jealous without having to ask and admitting it just shortened our conversation.
Jealousy is a perfectly natural emotion. I say if you feel it, go with it.
I gave her a questioning look after I read her text, but she just smiled and turned to talk to Audrey, thus ending the conversation.
“You okay?” Simon said, putting the arm that wasn’t wrapped around Brady across my shoulders.
“Just fine.”
“Remember when Lottie had her safeword with Zan? Anytime you need to bail out of any situation, just scream ‘duckling!’ and I’ve got your back,” Simon said, squeezing my shoulder.
“Me too,” Brady added, giving me a thumbs up.
“Thanks, but I think I’m okay,” I said. I appreciated the sentiment, and I knew, given the reverse situation, I would do the same for Simon. That’s what best friends did.
“Why are we doing this again?” Lottie whined, hugging her arms around herself. “What is the big deal about a bunch of dudes knocking a rock around with sticks as they move around on knives?”
“Well, when you put it that way, it sounds really lame,” I said.
“I’m just hoping they fight,” Stryker said, his chin on top of Katie’s head. She had her arms shoved into his jacket.
“You know what they say, ‘I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out,’” I said.
“Oh thank God,” Lottie said when the line started moving. We all shuffled into the hockey dome and climbed the endless stairs to get to the student section, waaaaayyyyy at the very top of the building. You’d think since students were the largest and most vocal of supporters we’d get better seats, yet we were relegated to a tiny section while the rich alumna had their own private boxes, many of which were empty.
Just went to show you that with money came power.
We all filed into our seats, second row from the very last. The general air of excitement finally broke through to me and I remembered that I loved hockey and we were playing our biggest rivals tonight. Being jealous of Audrey and Tyler (it gave me an internal shudder just thinking his name) had completely distracted me from the game. Jealousy was a nasty little thing.