Chapter 13
#153 Help Someone Even When They Don’t Necessarily Ask For Help.
Callie
The next few weeks go by in a blur of fall leaves, midterms, and football games. Before I know it, Thanksgiving is approaching. Kayden and I haven’t gotten a place of our own yet, nor have we really talked about it since that night. However, he does seem to be doing a lot better after we spent time reliving some of our past moments, and that’s really all that matters, right?
I also haven’t noticed any fresh cuts on his skin and he hasn’t gotten upset over anything with his family, so things are going pretty smoothly. Then again, I don’t think much has happened other than Dylan calling to check in and to see if Kayden is planning on going out there for Thanksgiving break.
‘So have you decided what you’re going to do yet?’ I ask Kayden. He stopped by my dorm after football practice when I was in the middle of folding my laundry. There are piles of clothes on the bed and I’m still working on the pile in the basket. By the time I get finished, they’ll probably be more to clean and fold.
Kayden is lying on the floor, since there’s no room anywhere else, throwing a football up in the air and catching it. ‘About Thanksgiving?’
I nod, folding a shirt and adding it to a stack near the foot of the bed. ‘I was just wondering if you decided whether you’re going to go to Virginia or not.’ It’s a sensitive subject, so I keep my voice light.
He tosses the football in the air and catches it before he responds. ‘What do you think I should do?’ he asks, tipping his head back to look at me.
I grab a pair of jeans from the basket. ‘Kayden, I don’t really think I should make that choice for you.’
‘Yeah, I guess I worded that wrong.’ He sets the football down and rolls to his side so he can easily look at me. ‘I just meant … I mean, what are you doing?’
‘For Thanksgiving?’ I shrug as I fold the jeans. ‘Going home. You know how my mom is with holidays. She’d be super upset if I didn’t come home. You can come with me, though, if you don’t want to go to Virginia.’
He bobs his head up and down, contemplating something. ‘Yeah, I don’t think I’m up for going back home really.’ He seems guilty about it, which he shouldn’t be.
‘You don’t have to think of it as going home. Just visiting my family for Thanksgiving.’
‘Yeah, but not thinking of it as home is part of the problem because it never really was.’ He flips on his stomach and pushes himself up to his feet, his grey T-shirt riding up just enough for me to see a little bit of his firm stomach. ‘And, I think I want to find some sort of place that I can call home.’ He wavers. ‘So I think maybe I should go to Virginia and try out this whole holiday thing with Dylan. I mean, he hasn’t brought up anything about my mom or dad lately, so I should be okay. I think, maybe it’s a good idea. And besides, I think it’s time I tried to handle that stuff.’ He glances at the healing scar on his wrist. ‘So that I don’t slip up again.’
I feel a ping of sadness in my stomach at the idea of spending a week away from him. Plus, there’d be almost a country’s worth of distance between us. Yet, I know those are both selfish reasons and in the end, it would be really nice for him to be able to get along with Dylan, especially if he wants to.
‘If you feel like you should go to Virginia, then you should go to Virginia.’ I collect a stack of jeans to put in the dresser. ‘It’d be good for you to get to know Dylan and maybe even Tyler if he’s going to be there and you think you want to see him.’
‘He’s still in rehab.’ He scoops up the football from the floor as I open the drawer and put the clothes in. ‘But I might get to see him. I think anyway.’
‘Good.’ Mustering up my best smile, I turn to face him. I am happy for him and everything, but I just hope it goes well for him. I worry. ‘I’ll miss you, though.’
‘You could always come with me,’ he says with hope as he clutches onto the football.
‘I wish I could, but I already told my mom I’d come home. Plus, Jackson’s going to be there and I haven’t seen him since Spring Break. And I made a number on the list to try to have a better relationship with him.’ I point at my door where the whiteboard with the to-do list usually is, but furrow my brow when I realize it’s gone.
‘What on earth. Where’s my list?’ I glance at Kayden. ‘Was it here when you came over today?’
He shrugs, rotating the football in his hand. ‘I have no idea.’
I scratch my head. ‘Maybe Seth took it for some reason.’ I start to reach for my phone. ‘I should call him and ask.’
‘But anyway,’ Kayden says, clearly cutting me off, ‘that’s good you’re trying to patch things up with your brother.’ He grabs my hand as I give him a questioning look. ‘I know that’s been hard for you, considering Caleb was his best friend.’
I decide to ignore his weird sidetracking thing – for now anyway – but I will get to the bottom of it.
‘He’s been really nice since I finally told him what happened,’ I say as Kayden gives my arm a tug and lures me toward him. ‘I don’t want to be mad at him anymore. It was too exhausting and there’s no point in holding grudges.’
The corner of his lips tip to a half smile. ‘You always say stuff that I feel applies to me.’
‘Oh, that’s not what I meant,’ I begin to protest as our bodies greet each other. ‘What happened between Jackson and me isn’t the same as what your father and mother did to you. At all.’ I feel horrible for what I said. Kayden should be able to hold a grudge against his father and mother, forever in my opinion. After his father stabbed him and nearly killed him – stuff like that just doesn’t erase. The large scar on Kayden’s side proves that.
‘Callie, relax. I know you weren’t referring to me.’ He gently tugs on a loose strand of my hair. ‘I was just teasing you.’
I assess him carefully. He seems like he’s being honest and looks almost happy. ‘You seem in a good mood. What’s up?’
He rolls his tongue in his mouth to keep from smiling. ‘It’s nothing. I’m just happy I’m here with you.’
I tip my head and study him suspiciously. ‘No, something’s up. You’re like super happy and you just purposely sidetracked me from the fact that the list is missing from the door.’