He grits his teeth. ‘Eventually, but I put you through hell until I did.’
‘It took me forever with Caleb.’ My pressing tone meets his. ‘It took me almost seven years to tell anyone. And you didn’t put me through hell.’
He doesn’t know what to say. Kayden has always been great at trying to give me confidence, but being on the receiving end of the line has always been a struggle for him. In high school, I would have never believed it. Gorgeous star quarterback dating the most popular girl in school, I thought he radiated self-worth. Boy, was I wrong.
‘I wish things could have been different for you,’ he utters softly, tracing my knuckles with his thumb. ‘I wish you could have been happy all of your life.’
‘Yeah, it would have been nice,’ I agree. ‘I know it might sound crazy – and trust me, I wish more than anything I never knew Caleb – but the thing is, what happened to me did happen and I can’t change it, so there’s no use letting it ruin my life. I don’t need to give Caleb that kind of power over me anymore. And besides, I might not be here with you if my life took another path, so I can look at the bad as something I had to go through to get to the good. You are my good, no matter what you want to believe. I’m sitting here, happier than I’ve ever been, because of you. You are my happiness.’
His gaze is flickering from my eyes to my mouth … from my eyes to my mouth … eyes … mouth. ‘Can I kiss you right now?’ he whispers when he’s solely fixated on my lips. ‘I really need to kiss you.’
I nod eagerly. ‘Yes, please.’
He leans over the table and I meet him halfway, smashing my lips to his and willingly sinking into a passionate kiss right there in public. We don’t come up for air until the waitress interrupts us to take our orders. Once she’s gone, Kayden stares at me from across the table with a contemplative look on his face.
‘What?’ I touch my face self-consciously. ‘Do I have something on my face? I am, after all, wearing enough lipstick to paint a clown’s face.’
He shakes his head. ‘It’s nothing.’ He extends his hand toward me and rests his hand on the side of my face. ‘Listening to you talk, the things you say, the way you look at life, you always make me feel better when I’m down. You’re amazing.’
‘So are you.’ I relax into his touch. ‘We make the perfect couple.’
He swallows hard and I think he’s going to go back to his self-doubt about his worth, so he shocks me when he says, ‘I think I want to … I want to live with you … You and me together.’ He pauses then shakes his head determinedly. ‘No. Scratch that. I know I do.’
My heart pitter-patters inside my chest. I don’t want to get too excited, but I am. ‘Are you sure? Because I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything. I can wait.’
The corners of his mouth tip upward, his expression full of warmth. ‘I’ve never been more positive about anything in my life than I am about you. I don’t ever want to lose you … I just want to make sure you’re happy.’
‘I am happy. I promise.’
‘And I want to move in with you. I promise.’
Unable to control my excitement any longer, I grin like a big goof. He grins back at me, a genuine smile, too. And we remain that way, smiling like two silly, lovestruck college kids until the waitress strolls up with our drinks and food and gives us a questioning look, probably thinking the goofy, elated expressions we have are because we’re high.
After she sets our plates and drinks down in front of us, Kayden scoops up his burger and takes a large bite. ‘So is this our last stop for the night? Or is there more?’
I pick up a handful of fries. ‘What do you think?’
‘I think that considering the path you’re following, there’s still more.’ He opens his mouth and takes another massive bite of his burger, appearing so much more relaxed than he did twenty minutes ago. It makes me want to keep going down this path.
‘So, if you had to guess the next place, where do you think it would be?’ I pluck the onion off my burger as I wait for his answer, wondering if he’s cracked the code of my path.
‘You think I don’t know,’ he says amusedly, ‘but I do.’
I shrug, equally amused. ‘I’m curious if you remember.’
His brow arches. ‘And what do I win if I get it right?’
‘Whatever you want,’ I tease then take a bite of my burger.
He seems pleased, a big grin plastered on his face. ‘Prepare to lose, then.’ He reaches across the table to wipe some mayo off my lip. ‘Races, spray paint, and green footprints.’
He doesn’t have to say exactly where it is – we both know what those words mean. Such a simple night, at least to an outsider’s point of view, but to me it was one of the most magical, life-changing nights of my life.
Chapter 11
#149 Channel Your Inner Daredevil.
Callie
Thirty minutes later, we’re entering a store we went to right before we tagged a rock at a very famous tagging area, and right after Kayden and I first danced over a year ago. I was a little buzzed that night and felt so free hanging out with Kayden, Seth, and Luke because it was the first time I felt like I had friends.
The store is still the same, a little rundown and sells cheap stuff for cheap prices. We instantly make our way to the aisle where I once stepped on a can of green spray paint and got it all over the floor. It was during a sort of wrestling match between Kayden and I after Luke had turned the night into a game.
‘Holy shit. I can’t believe you can still see it?’ Kayden says as we both stare at the faint green shoeprint staining the dingy linoleum floor.
I slap my hand over my mouth as a giggle escapes. ‘I should feel bad, right?’
Kayden shakes his head as I move my foot over the print – the perfect fit. ‘No way. If anything, you should feel proud. You marked that night forever.’
‘Well, as long as this store exists, but it was definitely a night to be marked.’ I pause and then decide to admit the truth. ‘You know, when we were in the cab by ourselves, I kind of wanted you to kiss me. Although, I probably would have freaked out, so maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t. I don’t think I was quite ready for it yet.’
As he processes my words, he steps toward me, our bodies just inches away from one another. ‘I wanted to kiss you that night, but was afraid.’