I clenched Nat’s hand.
“Sorry.” The nurse looked between us. “Family only.”
“She is family.” My teeth ground together.
The nurse didn’t look convinced. I cleared my throat. “She’s my fiancé.” And again with probably freaking Nat out.
Nat leaned into me, totally selling it.
The nurse nodded though her eyes narrowed in on Nat’s hand. I hid it under mine. “Okay, this way.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Demetri
I WAS DYING. No seriously. Dying. I knew I was dying because I could have sworn I saw a swirly light. Hey at least it wasn’t a swirly devil, things could be way worse right?
Right?
My chest hurt.
My back hurt.
My lungs hurt. Why the hell did everything hurt so bad? Wasn’t death supposed to feel good? Wasn’t it supposed to fix everything?
I couldn’t move my hands or legs. I felt, paralyzed, like someone had drugged my body but left my mind on full alert. Something pinched me on the arm. Shit! I tried to open my mouth but when I told my mouth to open, nothing happened.
I couldn’t even scream.
And for the first time — since I was a little kid, I wanted very badly to scream. I also wanted to cry but I didn’t know why I wanted to cry. I just knew that I was sad and that if Alec were here I would tell him I was sorry.
If Nat were here. I would tell her I still loved her. But I wouldn’t interfere anymore.
But I existed nowhere. Was I alive? Dead? Floating?
Something else flashed in front of my eyes like a light.
And then I heard voices.
“Clear!”
Clear? Isn’t that what they did to people when they were on the operating table?
“He’s flat lining.”
“Clear!”
More pain.
Flat lining? I willed my body to live. I used every ounce of strength I had and told my heart to keep beating. Not because I deserved life but because Alec didn’t deserve my death. It would ruin him, it would destroy him, it would kill Nat.
NO!
More pain in my chest.
Beat damn it!
Then total darkness.
I knew I was alive because I floated in and out of consciousness. I saw colors fade in front of me and then my eyes got really heavy. They were moving me somewhere. Something was stuck down my throat.
I got sleepy again.
More voices interrupted a really good dream about surfing. I tried to open my eyes but they were too heavy.
“Talk to him,” a voice said, “It will help.”
“O-okay.” It was Nat.
Her voice was so pretty.
I could listen to it all day.
“Hamlet.” Nat cleared her throat.
WHAT? Was she going to read me my homework? For real? Holy shit! I WAS IN HELL!
My body rebelled. I tried to move.
Nat just kept talking, in that weird Shakespearean language that made me seriously doubt the man’s sanity when he was writing.
Nat kept speaking. Oh hell she was using voices.
Huh, I wondered, in that moment, if this was my penance. If God really was the type of God that would punish a person in such a cruel way.
She read for hours.
She came back every day.
She read. The. Whole. Damn. Story.
When I woke up, not if, but when, I was going to burn all things Hamlet. I was going on Shakespeare strike. I would write a song about it. Swear.
I heard hushed voices again, and then Nat touched my arm. I tried to wiggle my fingers, but they wouldn’t listen to me.
“Your brother told everyone I was his fiancé.” Nat was tickling my arm something fierce. Must. Stop. The. Tickling. “It was the only way they would let me see you.” That was nice of him, to do that, so she could see me. Alec knew me too well. I wanted Nat here. Yeah I’d screwed things over with her. But honestly, I’d take her friendship any day. She was probably the only person who would put up with me at this point. You know you have a good friend when you treat them like crap and they still hold your hand, or in Nat’s case, tickle the crap out of you — which of course is just made worse when you can’t laugh!
“Trust me, I could have taken that tiny nurse. We all know how strong I am.” Nat boasted. “Alec also told me that you used to pee the bed when you were little and that you were scared of birds until you reached the age of twelve.”
Holy shit! And the worst nurse EVER award goes to Nat! Um, hello, deathbed? And every little kid is afraid of something. Alec swore he’d take that to his grave. Epic fail.
Nat laughed.
I liked hearing her laugh. I was tired of hearing her cry, seeing her tears, okay so maybe if it was at my expense that was okay.
“Naturally, I thought the best way to get you out of your drug-induced state was to threaten you. So, I rented the movie The Birds, and if you don’t come out of your coma I’m just going to keep playing it over and over again until you wake up.”
“Cruel,” Alec’s hushed voice said.
“And in order to prove my theory, I also recorded a few bird calls on my iPhone. Did you know there was an app for that?”
THE HELL she was! I roared, and willed my body to thrash, instead, I almost gave myself an aneurism and my pinky finger moved. Score! I tried again, this time it was easier, as if my body was remembering that yes it was supposed to move when I ordered it to.
“Play it again,” Alec ordered.
NO! Do NOT play it again!
I wiggled more fingers, and tried for toes. Hey I was on a roll!
She pressed play again. Holy. Shit. Was that the sound of a crow? They killed people. Wow. Heartless. Both of them.
With one final surge of energy, I wiggled my right hand and opened one eye, then two. Everything was blurry.
“His eyes are open! Get the nurse!” Nat yelled, as Alec ran out of the room.
I thought by opening my eyes the nightmare would be over. Nope, it had just begun. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My chest hurt so bad like it was on fire. My throat was closing, swear, and every inch of my body felt like someone had run me over with something and then thrown me off a cliff for fun. I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t do anything and it freaked me out. Freaked me out because I was still having trouble moving.
I tried to look around the room. Machines. Everywhere. Tears pooled behind my eyes. Great, so I couldn’t move my damn legs but I could cry?
“No, no, it’s okay.” Nat grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “You’re fine, okay? Don’t panic. I need you to not panic right now, okay?” Tears slid down her cheeks. I didn’t want her to cry!
“Ice?” Nat reached for a cup next to my bed. I nodded slightly, the movement so painful I nearly passed out.