“I love you.” I blurted. My brain was telling my mouth to stop moving, but my heart hurt so bad I had no choice. “I love you so much and I know you love him! I know you do! I saw you two, the way you looked at each other! I didn’t want to be second.” All my life I’d been second. All my damn life.
“Listen, Demetri. You really need to get your crap together. I’m sorry we didn’t work out. I’m also sorry that you didn’t have the balls to say it to my face before you stormed out and hooked up with the first girl in L.A. you could find.”
“We didn’t.” I looked down and shoved my hands in my pockets, though it took me like twenty tries. “We didn’t hook up. I kept thinking about you. Saw your texts.” I swayed again, this time my body bracing hers against the brick wall, not sure if she was holding me up or if it was the wall, things were starting to get fuzzier.
“I saw them, Nat. I wanted to respond so bad, but I needed time to think. And then Alec does what he does best.”
“What’s that?”
“Steals the only girl I love.” I snapped.
“Oh, so he makes a habit of that?” She sneered.
I laughed out loud. “You have no idea how messed up we are.”
“I’m beginning to understand.” Her teeth were clenched.
“He stole her.”
“Okay, Demetri.” She tried to step around me.
I reached out and tugged her against me. “No, you don’t understand. My girlfriend. He slept with her, got her pregnant, abandoned her.”
Nat’s face went pale.
“With my girlfriend.” I scowled. “Who was too much of a good girl to even think about sleeping with me. She slept with him.”
Tears pooled in Nat’s eyes. I was hurting her, plunging in the knife so deep I wasn’t even sure if Alec would be able to find it… let alone pull it out.
“She was mine! And he knew it! He was such a cocky son of a bitch. We were drunk. He said I needed to seal the deal. I told him it was impossible, so we made a bet.”
Nat’s hands shook as she held me back.
“He said if he got into her pants that I owed him a new car.” Tears blurred my vision. “I laughed it off. Alec was always the player. I knew he’d try, but she loved me. I knew she loved me. Just like I knew you loved me. And now…” I cursed and punched the brick wall, blood coursed down my knuckles but I didn’t feel a thing.
Nat fell to her knees in front of me. Holy shit. I’d killed her. But I couldn’t find the strength to even lean down and help her up; my world was tilting.
“Nat!” Alec called her name. “Nat!”
“Nat!” Alec pushed passed me and scooped Nat up into his arms. “Damn it, Nat. Don’t you dare pass out on me!”
“Bastard.” I mumbled from the ground.
“Really?” Alec snarled, “You’re going to call me names? After assaulting her?”
“Fell,” I said hoarsely. “She fell.” I stood to my feet and pushed against him, he was defenseless considering he was holding Nat.
I didn’t expect him to actually punch me.
But he did.
So I punched him back making him almost drop Nat in the process. I almost hit her instead of him, and that’s when I really, really freaked myself out.
I tripped backwards, and then fell on my ass, just as Bob came up behind me and pulled me to my feet.
I knew what was next. I was getting dropped off at the house, and put on house arrest, that was what usually happened after I did dumb shit, but this time. Something was different about this time.
This time… as Bob pushed me into the car and drove me home. This time it felt like the last time I’d see the ocean, or school, or even my brother’s face. The hair on my arms stood on end… huh, why did this time feel like the end? When all the other times just felt like another day?
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Alec
“HE TOLD YOU everything.”
I felt her nod even though I didn’t see it. I couldn’t actually bring myself to look at her in the eyes. Telling Nat the truth was like telling a three year old that Santa didn’t exist and you ran over the Easter Bunny for fun.
“Tell me it isn’t true.”
My laugh was bitter, void of emotion. “I can’t do that.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
After a heavy sigh, I turned to face her. “I can’t deny the truth. I did everything he said, and what’s probably worse is I got her hooked on drugs in the process.”
She closed her eyes.
“Nat…” My voice was a whisper.
“Just take me home.”
We rode home in silence. I could tell that she was doing the only logical thing she could do… putting the pieces of the puzzle together. The reasons for us being in Seaside. The secret, how it affected me, how it ruined my brother. I felt like shit and it was all because I’d done something shitty. Wasn’t that great?
The crazy thing was… I didn’t really care that Nat thought I was a loser, if anything I cared that she would blame Demetri for what he did. I was the bad guy. I was the reason for Demetri’s issues — I knew that. I had to face myself in the mirror every day and know that I was the reason two people died. I was the reason Demetri was on the road to killing himself. Me. Me. Me
We drove in silence. When the car pulled up to my house she didn’t move.
“Nat…”
She closed her eyes and sighed. “Tell me everything.”
“It’s complicated. I don’t think…”
“Tell me. Now.”
“Heroin.” I laughed humorlessly. “I told her it would help her relax.” I couldn’t look at Nat as I told the story. “We had been partying all weekend and Demetri was already in bed. She was drunk.”
Tears rolled down Nat’s cheeks. I was a monster. A complete, and total monster.
“It was all over within twenty minutes. Neither of us was really thinking. Had I been thinking, I wouldn’t have gone through with it. But alcohol? Drugs? They have a way of messing with you. I knew what I was doing — I just didn’t care. I knew it was wrong, but I felt so good — it felt so good — that I refused to acknowledge there would be any consequences.” I cursed and shook my head “Demetri found us in bed together.”
Nat gasped.
“I’ve never seen that look on his face before. They had a huge fight, broke up, and we didn’t hear from her again until we found out she was pregnant. By then we also found out she was hooked on everything under the sun, made easy by yours truly, considering I paid her off to keep her mouth shut.”