“Wow, don’t sound so thrilled,” Maria said, clearly hurt by my lack of enthusiasm.
“Sorry. No, that’s cool. What brings you north of the Florida state line?” I asked, rubbing the piece of skin between my eyebrows. I was getting a headache.
“Well, I’m only going to be there for a few days. I’m actually heading to Alexandria, to see my older brother, Hector. I haven’t seen him in years. And we started talking again while I was in treatment, so I figured it was a good time to come up and see him. Plus, I thought it would be the perfect excuse to visit with my best friend.” Way to lay on the guilt. Sheesh.
“No, that’s cool. I’d love to see you. So when will you be coming to Virginia? You know I could come up to Alexandria to see you. Save you the hassle of driving to Davidson.” Please, please, please.
I wasn’t sure why this was stressing me out so badly. But I just knew that Maria being here would push my two worlds uncomfortably together.
“And miss out on seeing all the sights of Davidson, Virginia? There is no way I’m missing out on that. I’ll be up next weekend. I’ll call you when I get to Alexandria and we can sort out a time for me to come down. Eeee! I’m so excited!” Maria’s giddiness was hard to ignore. Yeah, this was fine. Maria was cool. No weirdness necessary.
“I can’t wait to hear all about your life on the outside. Is it everything you hoped it would be?” she asked. I needed to get inside Bubbles and start my shift.
“I can fill you in next weekend. I’ve got to get to work,” I explained. Maria gave a mock gasp.
“You’re working? Look at you being a productive member of society.” I chuckled.
“That’s me, productive society guy,” I deadpanned.
“Before you go, have you seen that girl? Maggie?” Maria asked and I knew there was more to her direction of questioning than simple curiosity.
“Yeah. Actually, she and I are well…we got back together,” I admitted.
“Oh. That’s great, Clay. I hope you’re happy,” she sounded sincere, if a little crestfallen. I tried to ignore the disappointment and jealousy in her voice.
“I’d better get going. I’ll talk to you next week,” I said, ready to conclude the phone call.
I wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about Maria’s upcoming visit. But my gut, or was it my deep seeded paranoia, couldn’t help but feel this was a disaster waiting to happen.
Chapter Eighteen
-Maggie-
I was nervous. Screw it, I was really, really nervous. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and smoothed the skirt of my grey sweater dress for the millionth time since I had put it on. I looked cute. But was I trying to be cute? Sexy, amazing, or drop dead gorgeous would have been so much better.
But I was stuck with cute.
I had never been one to obsess about my looks like most teenage girls. I went with what God gave me and was okay with that. But for some reason tonight, I was freaking the hell out.
Which was beyond ridiculous. Because the person I was dressing up for already thought I was the most beautiful girl on the planet.
Poor deluded sap that he was.
Tonight was the “date.” Clay and I had talked a few times during the week and we hadn’t been able to agree on what we wanted to do. I didn’t want him to go to a lot of trouble. But he wanted to make it special.
And I could appreciate that. Because this felt like the beginning for us. Our first step toward a future that we had always wanted to have. Our chance to take things one step at a time, in the right order. Lord knows we skipped a whole bunch of pivotal moments the last time.
But now was about walking, not sprinting to the finish line. And I was happy to stroll.
Part of me wished this was the first time for us. That we didn’t have a butt load of baggage that always tickled the back of our minds with unwanted memories. I hated the twinge of distrust I continued to feel in Clay’s presence and I absolutely loathed the hyper vigilant anxiousness that I often felt from him.
I had been so lost in the blissful throes of reunion that it had taken a few days before the reality started to set in. I tried not to watch him and monitor his behavior. But it was habit. And I couldn’t help but watch for any indication that he had veered off the course to recovery and was lying to me all over again.
This was not the friendly feeling of déjà vu, but a smack a bitch in the face remembrance. And I didn’t like it one bit.
But I would have been the worst kind of naïve if I dusted off my rose colored glasses again. I could tell Clay was making every effort to show me things were different. But how different could they really be? Not that much time had passed. And given all that he had gone through, relapse almost seemed preordained.
Which was a shitty way of thinking. But think about it, I did.
But for tonight, I wanted to walk the road Clay was trying so hard to pave for us.
“You look lovely. Big plans tonight?” My mom peered into my room, a soft smile on her face. I tensed, ready to launch over hurdle number one.
I took a brush to my hair and tugged it through with enough force to make me wince. Just because I was nervous didn’t mean I had to inflict bodily harm. What had my poor hair ever done to me?
“Yeah. Actually, you got a minute, Mom?” I asked her, trying to control the wobble in my voice. My mom seemed to pick up on my apprehension and came in to sit down on my bed.
“You really need to clean this room. You can barely see the floor, Maggie May,” my mom scolded, picking up a pile of clothes and absently began to fold them.
I swallowed around the thick lump in my throat. “I’m going out with Clay tonight,” I let out in a rush. My mom’s hands stilled and she laid them on the clothes in her lap. I could see by the way her neck tensed up that she was not happy with my news.
But I refused to hide things from them ever again. I had played the part of the secretive teenager and it only served to demolish the trust my parents had in me. And that was not a place I wished to revisit anytime soon.
“Mom?” I ventured, wanting her to respond in some way. Her silence only served to increase the nervous flutter in my stomach.
My mom took a deep breath and looked up at me. She seemed tired and much older than I ever remember her being. Had I done this to her? Was I responsible for the new wrinkles around her eyes and the tired droop of her mouth?
“Okay,” she said slowly and I know my eyes popped out of my head.
“Okay?” I clarified, not sure I had heard her correctly.