“Her power—” Ryan growled
“Is uncontrollable,” Declan got out.
“What?” Connor was incredulous.
Quinn grabbed Connor’s arm and stared at him. A minute later, Connor turned to me as his face paled.
His mouth was a thin line. “That’s not sarding possible. She would have told me.” He stomped toward me and grabbed my arm roughly. He pushed up my sleeve, exposing the cross-hatched scars on my arms. The fresh bandages. The proof that my power had a deadly price.
He looked up at me; the fury in his eyes was as hot as dragon fire.“What the ever-loving hell? You hid this from me, Bloss?”
“She can’t talk about it, churl,” Avia had uncovered her ears. She came up and pried his arm off mine. “Nobody can.”
“What?”
I ignored Connor’s anger. I stared at Quinn. How’d you get around the geas to tell him?
Sometimes, I can string together enough mental images to get a point across. Quinn showed me. Quick images of dragons and knights and blood.
“Why are you sarding ignoring me? When did everyone figure this out?” Connor whirled and raged at the room at large.
“Ten minutes ago. And no one is ignoring you,” Declan sighed. “This is why we need to do things as a group, Quinn.” Declan gestured at Connor who was heaving breaths, as if he wanted to throw things just as Ryan had. “You see this? Who here wants wants to be in his place?”
Connor punched Declan. “I don’t know what the sard you’re talking about.”
Ryan grabbed Connor by the collar. “Watch it. Right now, he’s the only one on your side, you pretentious ass.”
“What side? Why are there sarding sides?” Connor bellowed.
Quinn took over again.
Connor’s eyes darted between him and me. “Marry her? Are you joking? Why the hell would you marry a woman who abandoned us and—”
Ryan clapped his hand over Connor’s mouth. “You don’t want to finish that sentence. You don’t want me to hit you.”
Connor jerked away and walked toward the door. “You’ve all been sarding spelled! You know that? Every step of the way. That’s all this is.”
“You think we’ve been spelled to love Bloss?” Declan asked.
“Of course, we have.”
I know I haven’t been, Quinn stared steadily at Connor. But his words rushed over me, filling me with both elation and terror.
He can’t love me. They can’t love me, my mind said.
No. You can’t. You shouldn’t. Don’t make this harder—
Quinn just glared at me.
Declan shook his head. Pity came over his features as he regarded Connor. “You can tell yourself you were spelled if you want. But haven’t you researched spells? They don’t have the capacity for more than a single emotion. If you were under a love spell, you’d never be able to hate her this much.”
Connor’s mouth gaped open.
Mine would have done the same, if I hadn’t started kicking myself. I’d studied spells with Wyle. I’d made love spells. Not good ones. But I should have remembered. My stomach sank. Connor’s hatred was real. But a tiny piece of me, a piece tinged with regret and longing, rejoiced. Because it meant my memories were true. And my love for him was true. I loved him. Just as now, I loved all of them.
One look at Connor told me it didn’t matter. No amount of logic was going to erase his anger at me … or Declan.
Hurt and disappointment skipped across my stomach like stones. I tried to ignore it, but defensive words popped out before I could reign them in. “For the record, I’ve asked Wyle to remove all spells from all of you. Except for those that keep you physically safe.” As soon as I said that, I wanted to kick myself. Those words didn’t matter. Wouldn’t matter to Connor, who was determined to hate me. But my stupid mouth continued, “He’s also supposed to be working on the distance spell, which he’s loosened, so that no one has to be within ten feet of me anymore.”
“No!” Declan and Ryan protested. Quinn shook his head and slipped toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
To make sure Wyle does not follow your order on that one. No sarding way we’re letting you go again, Bloss. You’re stuck with us. For life and death. Quinn slammed the door closed behind him.
“You idiot!” I screamed at the door, rushing after Quinn.
Ryan grabbed my arm and held me back. He pulled me against his chest. “Bloss, we’re your knights. We’re bound to protect you. Even from yourself.”
Tears streaked down my face, racing the pain radiating up from my heart. “You can’t.”
“We can.”
I shook my head but didn’t speak. Further argument was pointless. We were at an impasse.
And they were wrong.
I looked over. Connor was arguing with Declan over the complexity of love spells. Avia had pulled the bell pull and was pacing, waiting for a servant to arrive. I could feel the tension threading through the room, tying everyone up in knots.
Declan and Connor’s voices rose another decibel.
“Ask the sarding queen if you don’t believe me. Bloss left so you wouldn’t bleed out like a stuck pig, you yellow-bellied cringeling!”
“What did you call me?”
“You’re scared!”
Connor grabbed Declan’s shirt. “I’m not—”
“You’re scared she’ll do it again. But guess sarding what? She won’t. Because none of the rest of us will let her.”
He was wrong.
I’d leave them behind. Even though the thought left my insides as dark and lifeless as a shadow.
I’d figure out how to get away from them and seek out that dragon.
Connor pushed Declan away. Declan just snarled, “Find your bawbles and your spine. Because we’ve got a sarding dragon to face, a shite-show between Cheryn and Sedara coming down the pipe, and a godforsaken suitor—”
A page rushed into the room, interrupting Declan.
“The party from Cheryn. They’re here! They arrived early!”
Chapter Twenty-One
“Shite,” I blew out a breath. I turned to everyone in the room. “Get changed. Quickly. Formal greeting wear. Ryan, full armor for you and your men.”
“Won’t that look aggressive?”
“We don’t know who sent that sarding dragon. Could be Macedon. Gitmore. Cheryn. Could even be Sedara; they could be angry we’re considering Cheryn as allies. So, we are all on guard. At all times. And if you aren’t going to let me go back to Lady Agatha’s province, then we need soldiers sent there and we need to move the cattle and people away from there without arousing suspicion. Declan, I’ll let you handle the latter. Quinn, find out who sent this beast. And I want two people protecting Avia at all times.”
Avia opened her mouth in protest but I raised my hand. “You didn’t want the crown princess job. So, you’re listening to me until you’re forced to take it.”
She glared at me. But everyone broke ranks and went their separate ways to get ready and execute orders. Declan trailed after me as Connor stomped off, muttering to himself.
As I was stuffed into a blue brocade dress with a train that took two servant girls to manage it, I ran through the possible suspects in my head.
Whoever had set out to attack Avia had done so before I returned. Abbas’ visit had been scheduled before then. So, if our northeastern neighbors, the royal family of Macedon, had been feeling slighted since their princess was overlooked, that was a possibility. Was a slight enough for an attack?
I was doubtful.
But Cheryn and Sedara had been fighting, or at least swiping at one another, for nearly a year. What if Sedara was more than just annoyed by my mother’s choice to entertain Cheryn’s princes as suitors for Avia?
I dug my fingers into my palms. Too many countries hated us right now. Those theories didn’t even count our long-time enemy, Gitmore. We’d stripped them of weapons at the end of the last Fire War. They’d been pretty bitter since.
Sarding hell. Of all the times for a stupid suitor visit. We’d be up to our eyeballs in formal events and bullshite public outings when we needed to hole up and strategize.
I bit my lip as a maidservant twisted and plaited my hair and placed a tall filigreed golden and pearl crown on my head. The front of the crown had a headdress that dipped down onto my forehead, where diamonds dangled. Beautiful. Intimidating. Heavy as hell. I looked at my reflection, practicing my face for greeting the smarmy ass who’d come to inspect our kingdom and see if he found it beneficial to ally with us.
I couldn’t think about him coming here to judge Avia. That just made my cheeks grow red hot as I thought about yanking off my crown and smashing his crooked teeth out with it.
My personal butler appeared at that moment. “The party from Cheryn has arrived and is awaiting you in the throne room, Your Highness.”
“It’s just the one prince?”
“Yes. Abbas. The eldest, Your Highness. The others are ill at the moment.”
I nodded in acknowledgment. “Wonderful. Will my mother be greeting the party from Cheryn as well?”
He shook his head. “No, Your Highness. Her Majesty is not feeling … well, at the moment.”