All of us except Jake—who was talking to his parents and had promised to catch up later—were seated around a mammoth booth. Lowe was sitting in between Claudia and Beck and Claud kept leaning around Lowe to argue with Beck about the answers to the emcee’s questions. Rowena and Denver sat across from them trying to be helpful, but sometimes they had to resort to stealing the answer sheet from Beck. Matt had fallen asleep next to an exasperated-looking Lowe, who appeared to want to be anywhere but where he was—stuck in between the most frustrating non-couple ever.
To my surprise when we’d slid into the booth, Melissa had slid in beside me. She’d been giving me friendly smiles since we’d all met up out on the Cowgate. I had no idea what to do with that since the last time I saw her, I was pretty sure she wanted to kill either me or Jake.
“What is the largest omnivore in Britain?” the guy on the mic asked. “I’ll repeat, what is the largest omnivore in Britain?”
“What kind of question is that?” Beck asked.
“Does Britain have omnivores?” Claudia’s expression pretty much mirrored Beck’s.
“I’m going tae pretend ye didnae ask that.” Rowena shook her head and pulled the paper toward her. “It’s a badger, people. A badger.”
Melissa put a gentle hand on my shoulder, drawing me out of the conversation and into a little bubble with her at the back of the booth. I raised an eyebrow in question. “You okay?”
She looked determined but also a little nervous, a strain visible in her pretty blue eyes. “I wanted to apologize for my behavior at the library. I know things are complicated and I’m trying. Really.”
“Melissa, you don’t have to—”
“No,” she held up a hand to cut me off, “I really need to explain, because right now I’m just this girl with a name who is dating your first love. You don’t know me and I only know you from what Jake’s told me. So I need to explain.” Melissa leaned into me, her voice just loud enough for me to hear. “When I met Jake, he was just coming out of what I’d later discover were a few messy years. Drinking, partying, sleeping around, and refusing to make a connection with anyone who wasn’t Beck. Luckily, he was starting to get pretty bored with that life and was pulling himself together, so when we started talking, he didn’t want a relationship but was open to a friendship. I liked him so much, I took what I could get. As soon as it dawned on me that I woke up each day excited about seeing him, I knew I’d fallen for him. We grew close enough that he trusted me with what happened—with you, with … everything. So I know,” she nodded, her regard kind and understanding and so not easy to hate. “I know what you meant to him, I know how special he thinks you are, and I know that he hurt you and that things between you are unresolved.” Melissa took a shaky sip of her beer before turning back to me. “But I’m not just some girl he met, Charley. I’m one of his best friends.
“I’ve never judged him, and I like to think I helped him finally realize that what happened wasn’t his fault—that he’s not a bad person. Every day since meeting me, Jake has smiled a little more. He laughs at my stupid jokes because he cares enough to. I know that he can’t start the day without black coffee, that he texts his brother every day about random stuff as an excuse to check in with him, I know he treats listening to Pearl Jam like a religious experience, and I know that when he sleeps on his back, he snores. I know him. We share the same views on practically everything, we never fight—well, until you—and I know that that means a lot to him. I love him and he loves me and I give him peace.
“Thing is, I know that he cares about you too and that he wants to be your friend. That isn’t easy for me and I imagine that my existence isn’t easy for you. But we both care about Jake, so I want to give friendship a shot. I think if we try to be friends with each other as well as Jake that it might help.” She smiled. “I can be pretty cool when you get to know me.”
I swallowed hard, feeling everything she’d said like a burning log in my throat. “I can see that,” I replied a little roughly. “And thanks. For being honest.”
“Jake says you appreciate people being upfront and straightforward.”
I nodded, not sure what to say, how to respond, and thanking God when our group got loud as they greeted someone. Jake. He grinned at us, his warm eyes coming to a rest on Melissa and me. Noting our expressions, his own grew thoughtful.
“Here, man, I’ll let you in.” Beck began sliding along the booth.
“Let me out first,” I called, trying to keep the panic out of my voice. “I need a drink. Anyone else?”
Everyone but Claudia was set, so they let me out and as I stood, Jake moved in. Looking up into his face was a big mistake. It made what Melissa had said hurt that much more.
He looked into my eyes and flinched, concern immediately puckering his brow at whatever he saw in me. His lips parted and I knew a question regarding my welfare was coming, so I hurried toward the bar and hoped he’d slide in next to his girl and forget all about me.
I leaned against the bar, trying to catch my breath and stem the shaking in my hands.
Every time I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I got smacked in the face. Everything she said was enough to cut through me and finally put me in my place. She gave him peace. They didn’t fight or argue over stupid shit. They were good. They were perfect together. She gave him peace.
She was his one.
And I just had to hope to God that Jake wasn’t my one.
A warm body nudged into my side and I glanced up from the broken place I’d just been in to stare into Lowe’s gorgeous face. He winced, a reaction fairly similar to what Jake’s had been when he looked at me a minute ago. Lowe put an arm around my waist and tugged me into his side. “He’s my friend and he’s a great guy, but right now I could kill him.”
I reared back a little, my gaze speculative. “What?”
“Charley, your poker face is slipping and he knows it. He saw it, the pain in your eyes after whatever the f**k Melissa said, and if that isn’t enough to get him to stop being a selfish bastard and back off so you can move on, then I might have to hurt him. He wants you both. He can’t have you both and needs to wake the f**k up and see that.”
I tried to pull away from him, not wanting to discuss this with him, of all people. “I can handle it.”