“Where do you see yourself in five years’ time?”
He shrugged and then shot the table a strained grin. “A roadie for The Stolen.” The guys laughed, helping him out. Lowe quickly turned the conversation elsewhere.
As I collapsed into my bed later that night, I wondered not for the first time that evening whether Jake spent the entire dinner remembering our first Thanksgiving together … and our promise that we would never stop loving each other.
Chapter Twelve
For the first time since rescuing my sister from the SUV, I wished to God I were Supergirl. I’d never read the old comics but surely Supergirl wouldn’t have been this nervous about going all the way with her boyfriend? Or maybe she would have, I didn’t know. Maybe like me, Supergirl put up this front that she was confident about everything, when in reality she was just as scared as the next girl.
I didn’t know why I was so nervous about my plans to lose my virginity to Jake. Throughout the last four months, I’d been the one making the moves, pushing for our first kiss, pushing for fooling around. We’d done a lot of “stuff” together, and although I’d felt a little flurry of jitters when we’d first started out, I hadn’t felt nervous or anxious the way I was now feeling nervous and anxious.
The truth was I didn’t want to disappoint Jake in any way. I’d gotten it out of him that he’d lost his virginity when he was only fourteen. He wouldn’t tell me how many girls he’d been with, which worried me more than a little, but he promised it was nowhere near as scary a number as I probably had in my head. Still, Jake was experienced for his age. I guessed part of that was due to the fact that he didn’t look sixteen.
Take Stacy Sullivan, the waitress at Hub’s, for instance. I knew the rumors that Jake had slept with her were true. I knew this because since dating Jake, I’d hardly been inside Hub’s and the reason was because Jake didn’t appear to like it all that much. That was ridiculous—Hub’s had great food—so I suspected it had more to do with the fact that he’d nailed Stacy.
So Jake was experienced. And I wasn’t.
I knew it was ridiculous to have those concerns. Jake loved me and he wanted to be with me no matter what. That didn’t mean I didn’t want to be the best he ever had.
“Ugh,” I groaned and dropped my head against the bathroom mirror, trying to take calming breaths. I jerked my head back, jumping out of my skin at the sound of my cell binging.
It was a text from Jake.
Coast is clear. I’m outside x
I sent him an affirmative text back, drew in a deep breath, and hurried out of the bathroom. Mom and Dad were at work, so at least I didn’t have to hide what I was up to.
It was a Saturday and Jake’s parents and Lukas had gone Christmas shopping in Chicago. Chicago was actually an hour closer to Lanton than Indianapolis, plus Lukas was meeting up with some old friends. Jake had begged off the family day trip with the excuse that he wasn’t feeling great.
In reality, we just wanted his house to ourselves.
Two weeks ago when Jake had mentioned the shopping trip, I’d instantly thought about having an uninterrupted day with Jake in the vicinity of a bed. We spent most of our time fooling around in Hendrix in Brenton Fields and a couple of those times, things had gotten seriously frustrating for the both of us. It was bad. It had gotten to a point where I was zoning out in class because all I could think about was Jake’s hands on my body.
That’s why I casually suggested that he didn’t go with his family.
Assured that I meant it and that I was ready for us to have sex, Jake had eagerly jumped on board with the idea.
Bundled up in my winter gear, I hurried out to Jake’s truck, jumping in out of the cold and rubbing my hands together. I gave him a small smile. “Hey.”
He stared at me a moment, his eyes searching. “You okay?” he asked softly.
I nodded quickly. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Instead of going, Jake put Hendrix in neutral and pulled up the handbrake. He twisted around, sliding his arm behind my seat so his body was turned into mine. “Baby, we don’t have to do this. If you’ve changed your mind, it’s okay.”
As his reassurances and kind expression sank in, I thought that I was amazingly lucky to have found Jake Caplin. I’d said it before and I’d say it again: he was not like other boys. However, I’d obviously done something to deserve him, so I was content to accept his adoration and devotion for the rest of my life. I smiled at him now, some of the nerves dissipating. “I haven’t changed my mind. I … just want this to be good for you.”
He frowned. “You’re worrying about that?”
“Well, yeah, aren’t you?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, “but because I’m the experienced one and I want to make it as perfect as it can be. You don’t need to worry about that.”
“Jake, I do,” I insisted. “I’m just as concerned about making this perfect for you. You’ve been with girls who know what they’re doing—”
“I’ll stop you right there,” he cut me off, tugging on my hand so I had no choice but to fall forward against him. Jake cupped my cheek, his thumb stroking my skin as he pulled me into his dark gaze. “Everything we’ve done up to now is the best I’ve ever had. It’s the best because it’s with you and we’re great together. This will be no different.”
“Seriously, did you grow up on another planet or something where immature adolescent males are forbidden?”
He laughed and shook his head. “I don’t want to f**k this up by being an immature dick. And believe me, I have plenty of experience in that department too.”
“Okay,” I rolled my eyes, gently pulling back from him. “Let’s get out of here before you say something to change my mind.”
Jake’s house was silent, thick with it, in fact, as if it was breathless with anticipation right along with me. We hadn’t said a word in the truck as we drove to his place, both of us preoccupied with what lay ahead, nerves and sexual tension making the atmosphere potent enough to kill conversation.
Jake locked the front door behind us and helped me take off my coat and scarf. I watched silently as he removed his own. Taking my hand, he felt it tremble and gave me a sharp look. I squeezed his hand and reassured him once more with my eyes.
I followed him up the stairs, my breath coming harder and faster now. As soon as we entered his bedroom, Jake reached over for a piece of paper on his desk and then handed it to me.