But I don’t have to make any decisions now. In fact I should go back to Google and look at other colleges around the country. I don’t. I put the computer in sleep and get up.
The house is always quiet when Mom and Dad are at work. I wander across the hall and my hand hovers over Cam’s door handle. Slowly, I turn the handle and walk inside. My feet take me to his bed and I perch on the end of it. The smell of him is almost gone. There’s no lingering trace of his Davidoff, and my stomach twists. His room should smell like it, so I get up, grab the cologne bottle, and spray it. The fresh scent brings a smile to my face.
This is comfort. This is where he’s alive the most. This is where I remember most of him and Kyle.
“You’ll get caught,” I’d warned them. I was perched on Cam’s desk with my legs swinging beneath me.
“Who cares?” My brother shrugged carelessly.
“Everyone will know it’s us anyway,” Kyle muttered. “No one else has the balls to pull the crap we do.”
“Okay, you have a point. But how do you expect to change out all the whipped cream for shaving foam?”
They just grinned.
“Okay, one, I feel the need to tell you that you two have an unhealthy obsession with that stuff. And, two, I am not being a part of this stupid plan.”
“Roxy,” Cam whined. “You have keys to the café.”
“Mom will kill you!”
“No, she won’t.” Kyle grinned and tugged on a lock of my hair. “You’ll be the one switching them.”
“Uh, hello? Did you miss point two? I’m not doing it. No. Chance.”
“Fine. But you can get us in, right?” Cam gave me puppy dog eyes. They were so shit but I could never resist them.
“I can’t get you in. Mom will fire me then kick my ass. Publicly,” I stress.
“Then how—”
I got up and walked to his door. My hand rested on the handle as I peered at them over my shoulder. “I can’t get you in but I can’t stop you stealing my keys. The ones I just happen to keep in the top drawer of my nightstand when I’m not working.”
Kyle and Cam looked at me, their smiles wide enough to break their faces and their eyes dancing with mischief.
My lips twitch now with the memory. They did steal my keys and did it without getting caught. I never asked how they got the shaving foam in whipped cream cans and they never offered. They took the shit for it though, maintaining I knew nothing about it. And if I’m honest, I didn’t actually know when they did it.
They really did steal my keys.
I was like their silent partner in everything they did – unless I was their victim – and no one ever found out. I think I miss the three of us together almost as much as I do Cam himself. It’s so hard to have such a huge part of your everyday life ripped away from you.
It’s so hard to say goodbye to someone you thought would be there forever.
~
Some people are devils in disguise.
They’re all too willing to tempt you into something you have a weakness for. They seem to know when you’re having a bad day and just creep up on you with a solution. An antidote. An escape.
But it’s always the wrong one. They’re always short term and they don’t ever make it better. Nothing about a short escape from a devil can help you move forward in the way you need.
And this is how I feel right now looking at Layla.
“C’mon, Roxy. I need the money and you need this.”
I look at her red hair and her wide, brown eyes. She looks desperate. I’m not.
“I don’t want it, Layla. I don’t need it, okay? You’ll have to find someone else to buy it off you.”
“Roxy!”
“Here.” I pull out my cell and give her the number of a guy I met in Portland a few months ago. “He’s always looking for drugs. Call him.”
“He’s in f**king Portland.”
I shrug and turn. “You either want money or you don’t.”
You either want the escape or you don’t. Right now, I don’t. I don’t need them to make me forget how much it hurts. I need to grit my teeth and bear it.
My family deserve more than what I’ve been doing to them.
I walk in the direction of my house, dragging my feet. I’m finally noticing the true hollowness of Verity Point without my brother and the jokes he used to play with Kyle. And I’m wishing I hadn’t blown my chances of going to college in September. Now I’m stuck here for another year.
I put my key in the door and twist it. Hands land on my shoulders and I scream.
“It’s me.” Kyle laughs.
“Oh my god. You dick. You scared the crap outta me.”
He laughs again and follows me into my house. “Sorry. I thought you would have heard me coming.”
I shake my head. “No. I was in my own little world.”
His head bobs as he nods. “Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask.”
“Did you get any?”
I stop. “Any what?”
“You know what I’m on about.”
“No, I really don’t.”
“Ben just saw you with Layla.”
Of course he did. And of course he had to tell Kyle, because why wouldn’t he?
My lips thin and annoyance spreads through my body. “And you naturally assumed I bought alcohol or drugs from her.”
“No… Kind of. I just wondered,” he says warily.
That annoyance quickly changes to anger, and I chew on my lip. I stare at him for a second before turning away from him.
“It’s nice to know you have so much belief in my ability to say no.” I storm up the stairs to my room, and they creak as Kyle follows me.
“Hey, I didn’t say that!” He puts his foot between the door and the frame to stop me closing it in his face.
“You meant it.”
“No. I didn’t.”
“Bullshit.” I turn to look at him. “You knew I’d been with her and thought I’d give in. Well, I didn’t! She said she needed money, so I gave her the number of someone else who’d buy drugs from her. Ben conveniently left out that part, didn’t he, huh?”
“He was just telling me what he saw.”
“He obviously didn’t see enough then, did he?” I’m almost shouting. I can’t believe he really thinks this. I can’t believe he’d assume I’m so weak I have to give in whenever temptation is dangled in front of my face.