“Why?”
She raises her eyes to mine, curls her face into one of my hands, and whispers, “Only you. Always you.”
I pull her into my chest. She wraps her arms around me, and her face buries into the side of my neck. She shudders. Her fingers splay out on my back, and I kiss her hair.
“He wouldn’t mind.” My words are spoken into her hair. “He told me once if you had to be with anyone, he’d rather it be with me.”
Roxy holds me even tighter. “If I have to be with anyone, I’d rather it be with you, too.”
“So stop.”
She pulls away slightly. I hold her jaw gently.
“The drinking. All that shit… Stop it, Rox. You don’t need it.”
Her eyes drop to the floor. “It’s hard. I’ve tried before. It’s just… there. It helps me forget it hurts. Makes it better. Sometimes I even forget he’s died, and for a few blissful moments it’s all okay. It’s hard to say no when an escape is dangled in front of you.”
“I’ll be your escape. Not the drinking.” No other guys goes without saying. I’d like to see another guy try it. This girl has branded herself into my skin and my heart in a way I never saw coming. “Just me. I’ll be your escape when you feel like you’ve got nowhere to run to. I’ll be your hideout when it feels like everyone is watching you, and I’ll be your rock when you feel like everything around you is crumbling.”
“I’ll try. I can just try. I can’t promise you any more than that.” Her blue eyes are shining when she looks back up, and I nod. She reaches up and wraps a hand around my neck and pulls my face down. Her lips touch mine firmly, like she’s sealing the promise with this kiss. “Thank you,” she whispers against my mouth, releasing me. She sits on the ground in front of me and looks out at the gorge.
“For what?” I drop down next to her.
“For today. I felt like the old Roxy again.” She turns her gaze to mine. “I feel like the old Roxy whenever I’m around you.”
“She’s my favorite,” I admit. “So I do things to make you feel like her. That’s the Roxy I know. My Roxy.”
Her lips twist at the corners. “Your Roxy?”
I leap at her and push her back onto the ground. My eyes meet hers. “Didn’t I make that clear?”
She shakes her head, amusement dancing in her eyes. “Not. At. All.”
“C’mere.” I press and hold my lips on hers. My arm snakes around her waist and her fingers sink into my hair as I flick my tongue against her mouth. I can taste the lingering traces of the candy she was eating around the zoo on her lips. I kiss her deeply, sweeping my tongue along hers and around her mouth in an attempt to make her as lightheaded as she makes me.
“Mmkay,” she mutters when I pull away. “It’s clear. I think.”
“My. Roxy.” I punctuate the words with more kisses. “Okay?”
She nods slowly and smiles. “Your. Roxy.”
Chapter Nineteen – Roxy
I wipe down the table the twins just left with a smile on my face. The smile that’s been there since yesterday.
“Where’ve you been hiding?” Iz asks as she leads Selena into the empty café.
I grin and walk back to the counter. “Everywhere and nowhere.”
Selena narrows her eyes. “Where did you disappear to on Saturday night? And why did Kyle disappear at the same time?”
Iz looks at her. “The same time?”
They both turn to me. “Oooooooh.”
“Seriously?” I put a hand on my hip. “We were talking.”
“The language of luh-urve.” Selena slides onto the stool in front of the counter as Iz giggles.
“How old are you two?” I raise my eyebrows.
“Come on,” she whines. “Spill it!”
“Ew. Brother.” Iz winces. “Not too much spilling.”
“Says the one I caught making out with my cousin.”
I almost drop the glass I’m holding and gape at Iz. “You what?”
“I might have kissed Si a little.”
Oh, now she looks out the window.
“A little?”
“Okay, okay! A lot. For a long time. Whatever.” She waves her hands. “This isn’t the point. The point is how successful was your “talk” with Kyle?”
I smile and look down. “I’m going to be vague and go with very.”
“’Kay. No more.” Iz puts her fingers in her ears. Selena grins, and I shrug.
No one needs to know any more than that. Saturday night belongs to me and Kyle. It’s so much more than just one night.
“But I’m kinda pissed, because it looks like I missed something pretty damn interesting.”
“Me kissing Si is not interesting in the least.”
Selena looks at me. “Kissing is an understatement. They were as close to sexytimes as someone can be with clothes on.”
“Hey, you can have sex with clothes on, y’know,” Iz interjects.
I raise my eyebrows. “And you’ve done this?”
Her lips curve. “The guy didn’t look the prettiest under the shirt, okay? But he could kiss like hell so I thought I’d give him a chance.”
“And?” I lean forward.
Iz whistles. “It was so f**king worth that chance.”
“Right. And Si?”
She holds a hand up. “Drunk.”
“Off three drinks?” Selena questions.
“Three very strong drinks,” she protests. “Give me a break, girls. I’m allowed to kiss a guy.”
“Iz, the way you were kissing him very nearly became indecent exposure.”
I raise my eyebrows.
“Well, wouldn’t that have given the oldies a shock?” Iz laughs and turns to me. “Where did you go, anyway?”
“Somewhere exposure wouldn’t be indecent.” I wipe the counter. “In fact, it was positively decent.”
“I think I’m going to be sick.”
~
I sit on my hands. This is near impossible.
Verity Point is so out of the way there’s no other towns for miles – just the odd farm – so there’s plenty of places to hold outside parties and bonfires and shit.
Tonight it’s a bonfire.
Tonight I’m surrounded by alcohol and I can’t touch a drop.
It’s harder than I thought. This is another thing that doesn’t feel right without Cam. Nothing feels right without him.