The Aston I’ve always known – and the one I fell for – is cocky. Egotistical. Pig-headed. He’s devil-may-care, flighty, and doesn’t think about anyone else. But that wasn’t the Aston I saw this morning. I could see it in his eyes – a deeper, darker part of him that makes me think his act is just that. An act. A charade put on to fool people.
A game he’s playing with himself, constantly fighting for the winning spot. A game he’s unwilling to lose, whatever the rules may be.
I get up to retrieve my pen and settle back on the bed, twisting it between my fingers. I have no idea why he said he needed me or why he said he wouldn’t use me. I have no idea why he’s acting the way he is.
Hello, he climbed through my freaking window.
Is it too much to think that – maybe – I could make him better? Whatever it might be that haunts him, whatever it is that makes his eyes darken the way they do … Maybe I make it bearable.
But what is it about today that’s haunting him so much? I wish he could have said. I wish he would have just told me.
I wish I knew if he was okay. And I wish I had the balls to pick up my phone and find out.
But I don’t.
~
“So you ran out on Charlie on Friday night, went to bed early on Saturday, kicked Kay out of the room last night, and still didn’t finish the essay?” Lila raises her eyebrows.
“Yup,” I sigh. “That pretty much sums it up.”
She frowns, chewing on a Twizzler. “Why?”
“Because I just didn’t.” I shrug. “I don’t have a reason. I guess I wasn’t in an English essay mood this weekend.”
“What kind of mood were you in?”
“Apparently, a sleeping one.”
“And your excuse for running out on your date?”
“He’s not my type.”
“He’s hot, muscular, and his dad is kinda rich. How can he not be your type?”
We get up from the lawn and make our way to the main building. Lila throws her empty packet in the trashcan before we pass through the double doors and hoists her bag onto her shoulder.
“That stuff doesn’t mean anything to me, Li, you know that. Money is money. It talks but it lies, too. And looks are crap – the hottest guy could be the biggest ass**le in the world. It just … It doesn’t matter.”
“Let me guess – there was no magical spark and unrelenting passion as for Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth?”
“Absolutely,” I agree, my lips twitching into a smile. “He pales in comparison to the wonderful Darcy.”
“You and your books.” She shakes her head.
“There’s nothing wrong with my books. They give me what I don’t have in real life.”
“Like the perfect guy?”
“Exactly! And until I have my Mr. Darcy, I won’t stop reading. Charlie was definitely not Mr. Darcy.”
“You know something? You’re a really bad liar,” she says out of the blue.
“Hang on – what? How did you come to that conclusion when I’m not lying?”
“And again.” Lila laughs. “I don’t know what you’re lying about, but you’re not telling me the complete truth. At least not about this weekend.” She stops outside her class and tilts her head, studying me. “Got anything you want to share?”
I look at her, taking in her upturned lips and curious eyes. “Nope.” I hug my books to my chest. “Nothing I want to share.”
I’m not lying. I don’t want to share what happened in the slightest.
“I guess I’ll just have to find out by myself.” She grins and disappears into her class.
I take a deep breath in. See? If Sherlock Holmes and Cupid could have babies, the baby would be Lila.
An arm rests on my shoulders. “Smile, Meggy,” Braden chimes, steering me toward our class.
“Where’s Maddie?”
“She’s in bed. She’s sick.”
“She better just be sick.” I look at him pointedly.
“Fuckin’ hell, you sound like Mom.”
“It’s because I learned it from her.” I smile sweetly at him and push my way up the staircase, shrugging his arm off.
“You seem different.”
What is it with people today? “Do I?”
“Yep.”
“How?” I look at him like he’s crazy and enter the room.
“You seem … Distracted? Yeah, distracted.” Braden chews his thumbnail.
“I’m always a little scattered, Bray, you know this. Maybe it’s just pronounced today.” I shrug and slide into my seat next to Aston. Braden perches on the edge of my desk.
“Why are you still sitting next to this ass?” Braden looks at me, grinning.
I roll my eyes. “Because even sitting next to this ass is preferable to you telling me how “different” I seem today. I’ve had it from Lila all morning.”
“Different?” Aston questions. “Different how? Hey, Megan, did you finally get some?”
Smart boy.
“Hey, Aston, I see you finally managed to get your dick back in your pants long enough to make it to class.” I smile at him, exaggerating it for Braden’s benefit.
“Well, you know …” He leans back in his seat, linking his fingers behind his head. “Sometimes it’s a f**king hard call, but I thought I should probably make an appearance. Wouldn’t want you missing me now, would I?”
“I’d miss you like I would a lego under my foot. Oh, wait, I wouldn’t miss that!”
“Do you two even know what you sound like?” Bray looks between us.
“I have ears, Braden,” I retort. “I can hear, funnily enough.”
“You sound like an old married couple.”
“I said I can hear.”
“I know. I chose to ignore you.”
“Well isn’t that a surprise?”
“You two sound like a couple of kindergarten kids,” Aston offers.
“You two sound like you want my knee in your balls,” I say, following suit. “This is why I sometimes wonder if Kay is the smartest person I know. Guys are annoying.”
Braden snorts, jumping up. “Of course we’re f**kin’ annoying. We have to be to put up with your annoying whiny asses.”
I scrunch up a ball of paper and launch it at his head as he walks to his desk. It bounces off the back of his head and he bends down, scoops it up, and throws it back at me. I catch it and grin.