I stand abruptly, storming across the room and yanking open my door. I leave it to slam behind me as I fly down the stairs to where music is pounding for a sophomore, Mark’s, birthday party, and grab a bottle of beer from the fridge. I uncap it, raising the rim to my lips and letting the cold liquid run down my throat. I need to forget. I don’t care who I forget with, I just need to forget all the shit of before.
It’d be a lot f**king easier if Megan Harper hadn’t ruined me for all other girls. It would certainly be a lot f**king easier if I wasn’t comparing all girls’ lips to the soft, rosy pinkness of hers, or their eyes to the never-ending blue of hers.
Yeah. It’d be a lot easier if last weekend had never happened.
I catch the gaze of a girl across the kitchen. Her dark eyes give me a once over, and she flicks her black hair over her shoulder curving her lips into a smile. I lean against the end of the bar, taking in her slim figure. She saunters over to me confidently and gives me a dazzling smile.
“Can I help you?” I smirk, twirling the beer bottle between my fingers.
She steps closer, and my eyes drop to her chest. Her boobs are almost spilling from her top, black lace creeping up above the neck of her shirt.
“I’m not sure,” she says in a sultry tone. “But I’m pretty sure I can help you.”
She trails a fingertip down my arm, leaning in even closer. Woah – I’m all for forward girls, but this chick has never heard of personal space.
I step back slightly. “And how can you do that?”
“Wouldn’t you just like to know?” She runs her tongue across her top lip in a move I’m sure she thinks is sexy, but it just isn’t doing it for me tonight.
I catch the bob of a blonde head over her shoulder and flick my eyes there. Megan downs a shot and slams the glass on the table, glancing over her shoulder and glaring at the girl in front of me. The guy next to her says something, and I hear her laugh softly, the sound riling me. She leans in closer to him, smoothing her hair round to one side. Her legs are crossed on the stool, her tight black skirt riding up the smooth skin of her thigh.
The thighs I want wrapped around my neck and my waist.
I drink a little, ignoring the girl in front of me, and watch as Megan purses her lips around a straw.
The lips I want against mine.
Her hand runs through her hair, fluffing it up and letting it fall down in a messy style.
The hand I want to thread my fingers through while I hold her under me, messing up her hair in a totally different way.
God. Fucking. Damn.
She glances back over her shoulder, her blue eyes icy as they meet mine. She smiles but there’s nothing genuine about it. Her head turns, and she says something to the guy before she disappears through the crowd.
I give my attention to the girl in front of me, not really seeing her. “Look, babe, you’re not really my type. Try that guy at the other end of the bar. He looks like he could use some of your help.” I nod to the guy Megan was just talking to and take off, leaving the girl disgruntled behind me.
I leave the frat house, the air outside getting colder as Berkeley slowly moves into winter, and cross the street to the main campus – and the girls’ dorms. Thanks to her sharing with Lila, I know her building and her room number and I know that’s where she’ll be.
I’m not thinking about what I’m doing. I’m not thinking about who this could hurt, what could happen after this, or even how I’m gonna feel. All I can think about is Megan and her helping me forget.
If I can’t forget about her, I need to forget my past with her tonight.
Tomorrow, I’ll deal with the shit fallout that’s bound to come. I’ll deal with the crap in my head from yet another bad decision.
I wink at the pair of girls that let me into her dorm block and take the stairs two at a time to her floor. I knock on her door twice and lean against the door frame.
“There’s no one here,” she shouts.
I bang again. “Open this f**king door, Megan, or so help me, I’ll break it down.”
The lock clicks and it creaks open. She pokes her face through the gap. “What the hell are you doing here?”
I nudge her into the room and shut the door, turning to twist the key in the lock. Her room is tidy, a stark contrast to the mess of mine, and it’s so Megan. Books are piled high on her desk, both schoolwork and otherwise, and although she’s hiding it, I can see the stuffed toys under the bed. Clothes are strung over the chair in the corner, and judging by the tidy bed next to it, I’m guessing they’re Lila’s.
“Hello, Aston? What the hell are you doing here?” she repeats.
I look down at her and run my hand through my hair. “Honestly? I have no f**king idea.”
“Was that girl not “your type?” Her boobs too far inside her top for you?” Megan raises her eyebrows.
“Jealousy isn’t a good look on you, Megs.” I spin so I’m right in front of her and her back is against the door.
She tilts her head up, looking at me defiantly, and her shirt slips off her shoulder slightly. “I’m not the one who looked like they wanted to rip someone’s head off at that party.”
I flatten my hands on the door either side of her head, boxing her in, and move my face toward hers. My eyes search the blue in front of me. “And I’m not the one who looked like they wanted to rip out someone’s extensions,” I say quietly. “Who’s the jealous one, Megan?”
“You,” she whispers. “I have nothing to be jealous of.”
“You’re right.” I drop one of my hands to her waist, flexing my fingers. She clenches a fist, looking at me steadily. “You don’t have anything to be jealous of, because I’m here and not there.”
“And why exactly are you here?”
I stare at her, barely breathing, not moving, and the words burn their way up my throat with a feral need to get out.
“Because I need you. I need to feel you again. One kiss … One poxy little kiss … It wasn’t enough. It was nowhere near f**king enough, Megan. It won’t ever be enough, not with you. I don’t know if anything will be enough.”
Her lips part slightly and her body relaxes a little. Her chest heaves as she takes a breath in. “You …” She swallows, putting a hand against my chest. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“I shouldn’t be, but I am.”
“This is wrong.”
“Yep.” I bend my head toward hers. “But I’m here, Megan. Think whatever the f**k you wanna think, but I’m not going anywhere until I get to kiss you senseless again.”