“Well, you have a safe trip back home, Maddie,” Dad says and hugs me tightly.
“I'm home right now, Dad. I'm just going back to school,” I reply and extricate myself from his arms.
“Oh, no, honey. Wherever your heart is, that's where your home is. I think you left your heart in California. University of California, Berkeley, to be exact.”
I narrow my eyes and look at him. “What?”
“It doesn't take a genius to work out you fell in love and ran, Maddie. Your Mom did the same thing when we were younger. But you know what, Mads? You have to fight for love, because it doesn't come easily, not the real thing, anyway. I don't know who this guy is, or what's happened, but running won't make it better, baby.” He touches his fingers to my chin and lifts my face slightly. “Truth of life is that no matter what it is – loss, heartbreak, happiness, love – those emotions are so damn strong they'll follow you no matter where you go. You could go to the ends of the Earth and love would still follow you there. It's not a place or a memory, oh no. Love is something inside you, something that only you can feel, because your love is yours. You'll never leave it behind. You could go cross-country, cross oceans or travel to the moon and that love? It'll still be there, tucked away in a dark corner of your heart just waiting for you to acknowledge it.”
A horn beeps outside.
“Don't you run from it, Maddie, because runnin' never did anyone any good. I may not know much anymore, but I'll always know love. Your mom taught me that, and she taught you it too.” His eyes glisten with tears and I know he's looking at me and seeing her. “She left you her spirit, baby, in all those memories and in that love, she left you it. She'd tell you to go and run into love with your arms wide open. Whoever this guy is, he's a damn lucky guy to have you in love with him, so you make sure he knows it.” He kisses my forehead. “Go on with you, now. Your ride is outside. Let me know when you get there.”
I nod, my throat filled with a lump of emotion. Mom, Braden, and love all in one sentence is too much to swallow. Literally.
I hug Dad one last time and kiss his cheek before wheeling my suitcase away from the house I've loved my whole life. I pop the trunk of the cab and lift it in, eventually moving to the back seat. I look out the window and wave to Dad as we pull away.
Away from one home, ready for another.
~
There's a serious damn temperature difference between Brooklyn and California, and I've never been happier to change into some shorts and a tank when I finally get back to my dorm room. I tie my hair on top of my head in a messy bun and decide to head down to the laundry room tomorrow. The time difference will mess with me today.
Honestly, I just want to nap right now.
The door opens, and Lila flies across the room, pushing me back onto the bed. She squeezes me tightly, babbling about how good it is to have me back and she's so glad I'm okay and she's so sorry she started this all in the first place.
No nap for me then.
I pat her back. “Lila? Lila, you're squashing me.”
“Oh my god! I'm sorry! I didn't think!” She scrambles off me and bounces on the bed, sitting next to me. I pull myself up. “When did you get back?”
“Er, to Cali or back in this room?”
“Here here.”
“About five minutes ago.”
“And I totally just ambushed you! Oh, gosh.” She shakes her head at herself. “I just wanted to see you before anyone else. I want to apologize for, you know...”
“Its okay, Lila.”
“No, no it's not, okay? It's absolutely not okay. You should know I absolutely kicked Ryan's ass for that shitty stunt they pulled. It's not cool, at all.”
“We did the same thing, Lila. That's why I went away. We didn't really do anything different at all.” I smile sadly.
“Well.” She pauses. “I guess, but I'm still sorry you found out that way.” She purses her lips.
“It's okay. I'm over it.”
“Are you?” She raises her eyebrows.
“Eh. No.” I shake my head. “But I can always pretend, right?”
“Then pretend and come party tomorrow night.”
“Honestly, Lila, let her get through the door!” Megan exclaims and kicks the door shut. I didn't know it was open.
I look up at my blonde friend. “Hey, Megs.”
“I'm so glad you're back.” She hugs me tightly, and I return the gesture. “But don't you dare run away like that again, do you hear me, Maddie Stevens? Don't you freakin' run from me that way! We crapped our pants, actually crapped our pants! I thought you'd been picked by a serial killer or something!”
“The only serial killer I came across was my Dad. He's been known to bash a box or two of cornflakes in the past.” I grin and she looks at me, hiding her own grin.
“Gah! I'm just glad you're back. Did Lila tell you there's a party tomorrow night?” She sits on Kay's bed.
“Ah... Yeah. I don't think I'm going.” I chew my lip. “I don't think I'm ready to.”
“It's been two weeks. You have to see him at some point,” Lila says softly. “I know you don't want to-”
“You're right, Lila. I don't want to see him. I'm not going. Not yet. I still need some time. I need time to process everything that happened in Brooklyn. At least let me have that.”
“Fine,” she huffs. “But you have to start going back to your English classes. You can't keep skipping because of him.”
I finger a loose thread on my shirt. “I'll go back to English.”
Chapter Forty-Six – Braden
My eyes traveled around the frat house a million times on Saturday night, yet I didn't see her at all. She's here, but she wasn't there. But she's here – in California.
My Maddie is back in California.
And it's taking every ounce of self-restraint I have not to run over to her dorm block like my ass is on f**kin' fire. Because, like Megan said, I'd probably end up pinning her to a wall – and that's never good.
My leg shakes as I sit in English class, and my eyes are traveling the room again. I can't help it. She didn't show before she left. I want her to now. I need to see her.
The door opens, and Aston walks through. He crosses the room and sits next to me. “She's coming.”
I nod once and fix my eyes on the door. If she's coming, then she'll be here-
Now.
She's here. Megan's arm is linked through hers, but Maddie is smiling. It's a weak smile, and I hate myself for that. My hands tighten their grip on the edge of the desk, and I clench my teeth together. Aston kicks me.