I needed to find a way to fix this.
I lifted myself on my elbows and looked down at her, sweeping her sweaty hair off her face. I knew I should be feeling that suffocating guilt right about now, but it wasn’t coming. She smiled, her eyes warm and soft and on me. “Wow.”
“Yeah.” I grinned at the wonder in her voice, despite myself. “You okay, Ginger?”
She nodded and arched a brow. “Are you okay?”
I laughed. “I think so.” I slowly withdrew from her, watching her for any signs of pain. She flinched when I pulled out of her completely, but besides that she seemed fine. “You really should have told me, though.”
She didn’t even pretend to misunderstand me. She was a smart girl, my Carrie. “Would it have made a difference?”
I thought about it, but I already knew the answer. I wouldn’t have stopped. I’d been lost in her the second she walked out on that beach more than a month ago, demanding for whoever was hiding in the shadows to show themselves. I’d been lost this whole time, but I’d been fighting it. I was done fighting her. From now on, I would fight for her.
For us.
“No, it wouldn’t have. I couldn’t have stopped any more than you could have,” I admitted. “But now I need to take care of you.”
I brushed my lips over hers before sliding off the bed. As I walked to the trash can to remove the condom, I took a deep breath. This obviously changed everything between us. I couldn’t ignore my need to be with her any more than I could ignore the pressing need to admit my real identity to her before it was too late.
She would be angry with me at first, but if I came clean on my own—without her finding out when I wasn’t there—then maybe she would understand. Maybe she could find it in her heart to forgive me and allow us to continue on as we had been, only without any lies between us. Yeah, and maybe some pigs would fly by wearing Wonder Woman costumes too.
Actually…that might be more likely.
I turned around and crossed the room to my bed. She let out a squeal when I picked her up and carried her into the bathroom. “I can walk, you know.”
“You can, but I want to carry you.” I kissed the tip of her nose before I set her down in front of the shower. “And you like making me happy, so you’ll let me.”
She huffed. “So, that’s how you’re gonna play this, huh?”
“Uh-huh.” I turned on the shower, grinning the whole time. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so happy. Probably never. “Is it working?”
She splayed her hands over my shoulders, sliding them in front of my body. She rested them over my heart, pressing her cheek against my bare back. “Yes.” I stopped moving, not wanting to break her hold. Not wanting her to let go. But then she did, and she slid her hand under the water. “Perfect. You coming in, too?”
I cocked a brow. “You have to ask?”
She laughed. “Guess not.” She stepped into the shower and smiled at me. “This is weird. I’ve never showered with someone else.”
“Well, it’s another first for you then.” I joined her and pulled her into my arms. Her naked body pressed against mine, making my c**k harden again, but I wouldn’t touch her. Not tonight. She needed rest. “I want to be all your firsts from now on.”
She laid her head against my chest, directly over my heart. Did she know she owned it yet? “Sounds like a plan.”
I grabbed her hair and got it damp, watching the water cascade down her bare back, only to roll down her ass. After clearing my throat, and mentally slapping myself in the face for being a perv, I reached for the shampoo. As I washed her hair, her eyes drifted shut and she let out a happy sigh.
I rinsed out the suds, watching her face as I did so. She looked so peaceful and innocent. “Sorry, I only have men’s shampoo.”
“That’s okay.” Her lids drifted up. “I’ll smell like you.”
I made a mental note to buy her some girly shampoo in the morning. And a toothbrush. If I had my way, she’d be spending a lot more time here with me from now on. “Next time, you’ll have something better.”
Her eyes drifted shut again and she yawned. I made quick work of washing her body, pausing at the blood smeared between her legs. I’d done that. Taken her innocence. The fact that she’d chosen me, trusted me, was enough to make me want to scream. Soon, she would hate me. Soon, she would regret this.
I rinsed her off, and then quickly washed my own body. She leaned against the tile wall, her eyes devouring me. “Can I do you?”
I bit back a groan. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I already want you again, but you can’t handle that. Your body needs rest.”
She licked her lips. “Are you so sure of that?”
“Yes.” Fuck my f**king conscience. “Positive as a proton.”
Her eyes went wide, then she let out a nervous laugh. “You heard that?”
“I did,” I admitted, shooting her a sheepish grin.
“Oh God.” She dropped her forehead onto her palm. “How embarrassing.”
“You mean adorable?”
“Nope,” she quipped.
I turned off the water and grabbed two towels. As we dried off, my eyes never left her. She was so gorgeous. Her pale skin contrasted fantastically with the smattering of red curls between her legs. She had a few freckles across her body, but for the most part, she was all ivory skin and temptation. I dropped my towel and cupped her face, tilting her it up to mine.
I ran my fingers over the line of freckles that ran across her cheeks and over her nose. “I love these little freckles. You know that?”
“I hate them.”
“They’re perfect, just like you.”
I kissed her, making sure I kept it light. I swung her in my arms and carried her to the bed. After I gently set her in the middle of it, I reached down to the foot of the bed and lifted the covers over her bare body. She lay on her side, her hands folded under her cheek, watching me. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and quickly let her father know she was safe and sound.
I just neglected to mention she was safe and sound in my bed.
When I crawled under the blanket with her, she smiled and ran her fingers through my damp hair. Something that had nothing to do with lust rolled over me, like a tidal wave. She nibbled on her lower lip and tugged the blanket higher. The pink tinge in her cheeks hinted at her vulnerability.
“Stay the night with me?” I asked.