And that? That was my undoing.
I pulled out of her and thrust inside, sure and fast. She moaned and scratched her nails down my back, so I repeated the gesture. As I moved inside of her, something inside of me gave way, and I knew I would never go back to the way I’d been before her.
Her legs clamped around me even tighter, and her breathy cries grew quicker. She was close. So close. I reached down between us, never breaking the kiss, and pressed my thumb against her clit. She moaned into my mouth and pumped her hips up once, twice, then came—her body tensing all around me. I slid out of her and drove back inside, my own orgasm taking control of my body within seconds of her release.
I collapsed on top of her and buried my face in her neck. Taking a deep breath, I tried to remember the last time I’d felt this way after sex, but I came up empty. I had never felt so damned happy and satisfied after sex until…until Carrie.
I couldn’t lose her. Not now. Not ever.
Chapter 18
Now that was what I called a study session. I closed my eyes and took a nice, long breath. No matter how many times I read the why and how of sex, nothing compared to the reality of it. The reality of Finn touching my bare skin, moving inside of me and taking me higher and higher…
Yeah. Nothing.
I shivered and within seconds he had a blanket over me. He was always so considerate and compassionate. I shivered, he got a blanket. I yawned, he got me to go to sleep. I needed to study, he kidnapped me and forced me to do so. He was supportive, hot, and honest.
Cory didn’t have a clue what he was talking about.
Finn was everything I wanted in a partner and more. I wouldn’t grow to hate him for his “faults.” Heck, I had yet to see any faults at all. Surely he had some, everyone did, but he hid them well. He stood up and headed for the trash can as I watched. The back view was almost as enticing as the front.
Almost.
He turned on his heel and scratched the back of his head. He always did that when he was nervous. I knew that about him. Why would he be nervous?
“You want another milkshake now?” he asked, his voice uncharacteristically hesitant. “We can sip on them while we finish studying.”
“I already got my reward.” I sat up, bringing the blanket with me. “What possible reason do I have to study now?”
He raised a cocky brow, and just like that, the Finn I knew was back. “Your grades? Your father? Your whole life?”
“Eh.” I shrugged. “I like your methods of persuasion far better than those.”
He grinned and crossed the room, then bent down to give me a lingering kiss before pulling away. His hand remained on my neck, his touch gentle. “Then far be it for me to leave you hanging. I’ll go clean up, but we need to talk. Deal?”
“Talk? That sounds serious.”
“Nah. It’s just something I have to tell you.” He gave me a lingering kiss, but seemed as if he didn’t want to let go. As if something was wrong. “I’ll be right back.”
He gave me one last look before he headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I let out a little sigh and slid out of the bed. As much as I’d like to remain here all night, he was right. I had studying to do, and I wasn’t about to do that naked. I got dressed in my clothing, but couldn’t find my shirt anywhere. When I spotted his red shirt lying on the floor, I grinned and slipped it over my head.
It smelled like him. Delicious.
As I hugged the shirt close to me, I caught sight of his phone lying on the floor under the table. I reached down and pulled it out, intending to set it down on the table so he wouldn’t be looking for it later, but right when I picked it up, the screen lit up. I tried not to look. I really, really did. It’s not like I wanted to be that girl who snooped through my boyfriend’s phone for hints of other women in his life. And yet…
My gaze flitted to the closed bathroom door before it returned to the phone in my hand, and what I saw there made my heart stop and my stomach twist in tight, painful knots. As if the floor dropped out from underneath me, letting me crash to my death five hundred feet below. At first it was the all capital letters in the text message that drew my attention. Dad texted in all caps, as did most older people. But then I looked at the number, and my entire body went all weak and shaky with disbelief. Confirmation came swift and hard, like a kick in the stomach. I’d know that phone number anywhere.
I read the text again.
Have you seen her today? Is she studying with Cory?
For a second, I hoped I picked up the wrong phone. That I held my own phone in my hand, and not his. That would be so much better than the alternative. So much better than knowing that the first person I trusted enough to let get close to me, the first man I could possibly see myself falling in love with, was nothing more than a spy sent by Dad.
Oh my God. I was such a fool. I’d fallen for it all, without even questioning why a guy like Finn would want me. Without a second thought or a backward glance. Now I was staring the truth in the face. Dad was texting Finn, and Finn was hanging out with me because he had to, not because he wanted to. He’d been sent here to babysit me, and I’d been dumb enough to believe he might actually be interested in me.
That he actually cared.
I blinked back tears when the bathroom door opened, and Finn came out wearing a pair of boxers. “About that talk, how about if we—?”
He scanned the room until he found me, and then he broke off midsentence. He looked first at the phone in my hand, then at my face. He paled and stopped walking midstride. He opened his mouth, closed it, then tried for a casual tone of voice. “You okay, babe?”
Okay? No, I was not okay. I was horrible. Terrible. Ready to cry and scream and kill Dad for doing this to me. For sending Finn to watch me. For sending a man I could so easily fall in love with, then ripping him away from me without a second thought.
And I was even madder at myself for falling for it.
“Was it all a lie?” I asked, my voice miraculously even, even if it came out soft. I slowly lifted my head. “Tell me the truth for once. Was it all a lie?”
He flinched and seemed to break out of a trance. He crossed the room and held his hands out in front of him. “No. Please, let me explain.”
“No.”
I stumbled to my feet and backed away from him. I couldn’t bear his touch after all of this. After he…oh, God. No. I couldn’t even think about it right now. I tossed his phone onto the couch, not wanting to hold it another second. In some sick way, I almost blamed the phone for all of this. If I hadn’t picked it up, I wouldn’t be feeling like the world had stopped spinning.