But I couldn’t face the thought of running into Max. So I answered, I want to hang out, maybe we could go out instead?
Nadia’s text pinged five minutes later. Sure, name the night. I’ll make it work.
Aw. Angus and Nadia still love me.
Kia didn’t reply until the next day, but her message made me smile. Girl, I’ve so been there. I’ll buy coffee at the Pour House, okay? 2pm Tuesday.
Honestly, I’d thought it would hurt more or feel more real, once our friends all knew we weren’t together anymore, but nothing could be worse than seeing Max’s face that night. Everything else felt like baby steps away from ground zero, crawling up the sides of an emotional crater that all but leveled me. There was still no sun; outside—and in my head—it was always winter with skeletal trees and perpetually gray skies. But in fat, depressing Russian novels, they always kept moving, even with snow up to their chests.
So I did, too.
Monday I hiked to the bus stop and caught the first route to campus. Since I wasn’t sure how long it would take, I ended up at my early class almost forty minutes before I needed to be there, but I took it as reassurance that I could plan my way around these problems. Breaking up with Max wasn’t the end of everything; it only felt that way. Some days it hurt so bad, it felt like I couldn’t breathe for missing him. But I still went to my classes.
I didn’t break.
You thought Max was making me weak, Ma. But really, by loving me and by telling me about his life, he taught me to stand on my own.
Though I had to run from the business building, I met Kia for coffee the next day. Every time I saw her, it was a fresh surprise how gorgeous she was. Today, she had on jeans, boots and a red sweater, but on her lean frame, the outfit came across as expensive and elegant. If I wasn’t so completely in love with Max, now that she and I weren’t sharing a room, I’d totally flirt with her. Though she looked nothing like Amy, they shared the leggy build that rang my bell.
She’d managed to snag a table somehow, and as I approached, she skimmed me up and down, then gave an approving nod. “You don’t look as bad as I thought. I know you’re crazy about Max.”
“How is he?” I had no shame, apparently.
“I don’t see him much,” she admitted. “Since I got back, he’s working all hours.”
“He doesn’t come home at night?”
She raised a brow. “How the hell would I know? You want to check in, call him.”
“Like he’d tell me.”
“I hate to burst your bubble, but I didn’t meet you to talk about boys.”
A rueful smile worked its way out. “I suppose not. Let me guess, you’re wondering about the apartment.”
“Yep.”
“I’ll pay rent until I can find someone to take over my side of the room.”
“No need,” she said. “I have a friend from home transferring this semester and she was going to stay with her cousin, but the house is pretty crowded already. This would work out better for both of you. So I wanted to talk about your furniture.”
“Wow, really? You don’t know how bad I needed a silver lining right now. This has been the shittiest break ever.”
Kia nodded, wearing a sympathetic expression, but she didn’t let me digress. “Did you pay for January already?”
I nodded; I’d mailed the check on the thirty-first. Afterward, I’d fretted for hours because I had no money coming in. I’d given Evan three hundred, which left me pretty broke. I’d get paid if/when the band played its next gig, but we weren’t doing shows regularly enough for me to feel comfortable with that as my sole support. Which meant I needed to find a job.
But first, the apartment.
“Okay. I’ll get the rent money for you from Miranda. Since you left your bed and stuff, I figure you don’t want it?”
“I bought everything from Lauren for two hundred.”
“One fifty sound fair?” Kia asked.
I raised a brow. “Really?”
“You never heard of wear and tear?” She was grinning while she mercilessly negotiated the deal.
“You should be a cutthroat corporate attorney, not a doctor.”
“Whatever. I’ll meet you here, same time next week, with the money. Okay?”
“That would be great. I really appreciate this.”
“It’s good for me, too. Otherwise you’d probably give your half of the room to the first freak who asked, so you don’t have to pay double.”
I smirked. “Maybe.”
“See how you are?” Kia took her coffee and stood. “Now I gotta go. Don’t forget to come next Tuesday.”
“As if. Your girl owes me money.”
“True.” With a wave, she hurried out of the coffee shop, her dark hair fanning out in the icy winter wind.
When I noticed all the dirty looks I was getting for hogging the table alone, I grabbed my latte and headed for the library. It seemed like I should get used to spending time there, as I couldn’t leave campus until my classes were done for the day. On the plus side, I’d waste less time since it was forcing me to study and work on assignments.
But first, I had a favor to cash in. Taking a deep breath, I got out my phone, but I was completely puzzled when it said No Signal. I wandered around the quad for, like, half an hour, trying various spots. Nothing worked. And eventually, it occurred to me that my parents must’ve turned off my cell service. They really weren’t kidding about cutting me off. I suspected they’d thought I’d cave before now, come crawling back begging for forgiveness, but hell would freeze before that happened when I hadn’t done anything wrong.
Since I had time before my four o’clock, I walked to the pharmacy closest to campus, hoping they’d have a prepaid SIM and cellular time cards. I spent thirty bucks between the two and then I hurried back and headed to the computer lab. Five minutes of searching on Google and I had basic instructions on how to unlock my phone. The internet warned me to be cautious about backing up my data, but everything was on the cloud anyway, so I went through the steps as instructed and couldn’t resist a chair dance, prompting some looks from people nearby, when it worked exactly as described. Then I swapped my old SIM for the new one and went looking for a pay phone to activate my new number. I barely finished getting my phone back online before I had to run to class. Afterward, I texted everyone who might care that I had a new number.