As the song changed, he let out a sigh, shoulders relaxing. “You don’t know how happy that makes me. I actually can’t sleep when you’re mad at me.”
Simultaneously moved and confused, I answered, “Now that I know, I have to fuck with you. Come home in a faux-rage and give you the silent treatment.”
Max reacted with more alarm than I expected. “Only if you want to drive me nuts.”
“Then when you ask what’s wrong, I’ll fall back on the classic ‘If you don’t know, I’m not telling you.’”
He groaned and closed his eyes briefly. “Please don’t. If you start playing games, I’ll lose my true north.”
“Huh?” Not an eloquent response, but it was late.
“True north is a fixed point, the constant that never changes. And no matter how fucked up everything else is, as long as you’re here, I can always deal.” He paused, studying his hands.
They were scrubbed clean of the mechanic grime but reflected the years he’d worked with them, rough and callused, white scars on his fingers and knuckles. A purple slash marked the back of his left hand, and I remembered what he’d said about nearly getting stabbed in an alley. Meeting him for the first time, you’d take him for a laborer.
Your dad would hate him, Eli said.
Probably.
Before I could respond, he went on. “I haven’t had a friend like you since I was...twelve, maybe. My dad got really bad then, drinking all the time. Uncle Jim was overseas, and Uncle Lou was having health problems. So it was on me to protect Mickey. I couldn’t invite people over because I never knew what mood Pop would be in, and I couldn’t leave my brother.”
“I’m sure he appreciates it.”
“No, that’s not the point I’m making here. I’m trying to say, this doesn’t come easy to me. Talking to people, making it real. You, Nadia and Angus are the only true friends I’ve made since I moved here.”
“But you know so many people.”
“Their names, sure. But they don’t have any idea who I am.” Sighing, he tilted his head against the wall. “Anyway, I just wanted you to know how important you are to me.”
When he came across all sweet and earnest like this, I couldn’t hang on to hurt or aggravation. It wasn’t his fault that I didn’t attract him in the romantic sense. He’d never intentionally raised my expectations. Mentally I made peace with the idea of being Max’s bro.
The heart wants what it wants, Eli said.
Were you always this annoying and unhelpful?
Hey, I’m watching my girlfriend fall for another guy. Cut me some slack.
That sounded so much like Eli that I snickered. Max’s head jerked up, eyes wounded. Shit. He just said something deep and touching. Meanwhile you’re chortling.
“You’re special to me, too,” I said, playing off the laugh. “But there’s no need to go all scary-serious when you tell me. I’ll get you the BFFs Forever necklace for your birthday.”
He feigned enthusiasm, opening his eyes so wide it was creepy. “You promise? The one that says Friends on one half and Forever on the other?”
“You think I’m joking, but just wait.”
“I’ll cry if you disappoint me, Kaufman.”
“Never. Do you prefer gold or silver?”
“I take it platinum’s off the table.”
“Sorry, I’m on a budget here. To buy you expensive jewelry, I’d have to get a job, and I don’t plan to do that until absolutely necessary.”
“Such a princess,” he scoffed.
“Time for me to flounce away with my scepter and tiara. G’night.”
For a few seconds, it looked like he had something to say, as if he might stop me. But in the end, he opened the door for me, then shut it with a quiet click. Angus was just coming home, and it seemed like a dick move to disappear without letting him dish about Del, so I got a drink and sat on the couch with him for half an hour, listening. Just past one, Kia came in, looking exhausted. She stumbled past with a wave and headed straight to bed.
When Angus paused for breath, I teased, “So I get the idea that Del is okay and you kinda like him.”
He nudged me with his foot. “Brat. I’m ready for him to meet the family.”
“Whoa, big step. Good luck.”
You could use some, too, Eli pointed out.
There was no arguing with a ghost, especially when he was right.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Three weeks later, I sat in The Pour House on Friday afternoon, waiting for my first Max-driven fix-up. I was wearing a red beanie so the guy could identify me since saying “I’ll be the girl in the black shirt” wasn’t enough to separate me from the pack. I had juice and a muffin in front of me, but I didn’t want to take a bite because as soon as I did, the lucky guy would arrive to find me with my mouth full of pastry.
I drummed my fingers nervously, until someone cast a shadow over the table. Glancing up, I registered a tallish guy, lanky, blond with a blue streak in his hair. Otherwise, he wasn’t particularly memorable. I lifted my hand in a half wave.
“Jared?”
“You must be Courtney.”
I nodded. “You must be wondering why you agreed to this.”
“Max said you’re a cool girl. I’ll get a coffee and be right back.” His response was lukewarm, though, and I could practically hear him inventing reasons to leave.
By the time he came back, I’d eaten half of my muffin but at least I wasn’t chewing. “What did you get?”
“Double espresso.” He sat down, thinly veiled contempt skating over his face as he registered that I actually ate food.
“So how do you know Max?”
“We have a couple of classes together.”
Before I could reply, his phone rang. “Sorry, I have to take this.”
I made a go-ahead gesture, but he lost points by doing it. While I listened to his half of the conversation, I sipped my juice. At first it was mostly monosyllabic, but then he glanced at me and said, “Nothing much. Yeah, that should be fine.”
Nice.
A pause. “I know, right? Yeah, Mariah Carey looks amazing lately. I’m so glad she lost weight. It’s disgusting when women let themselves go.” His gaze met mine, flickered away, as if he wasn’t talking to me.
Yeah, completely unrelated.
That was enough for me. I stood up, took my stuff and strode out. He wasn’t worth the ten seconds it would take me to tell him to fuck off. Indignation carried me out of the student center and halfway across campus. But once I got that far, I realized I only had a bus ride ahead of me, plus the exciting job of breaking the news to Max that the meet had been worse than a dead loss. I could put off the inevitable by finding something else to do tonight, though.