“All good?” I asked.
“Yeah, they’re fine. Happy to have us all together.”
Glancing over, I saw that Nadia and her guy were nesting like Russian dolls, her in his arms and Sam snuggled up between her knees. That wasn’t in the cards for my near future, but she looked so happy that I knew it had to be the right move for her. Curling my legs to the side, I rested lightly against Rob. Smiling down at me, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, drawing me even closer. Another look at Nadia confirmed it; yeah, she’d finally noticed, and she could’ve done that silent talking thing with her eyebrows, as we’d perfected the WTF look ages ago, but she smiled instead. I took it to mean she wasn’t mad, so I whispered, “Thank you.”
“Hmm?” Rob tilted his head toward me.
“Nothing. But I think Nadia just gave us her blessing.”
“That’s a relief,” he said. “I was losing sleep.”
Grinning, I dug my fingers into his side. “Smart-ass.”
The fireworks were gorgeous—half an hour of spectacular colors and starbursts brightening the night sky. He held me close the whole time, and I couldn’t remember a more magical night. No public speaking, no talking to strangers, no pressure. Just Rob and me, surrounded by people who cared about us, even if they didn’t always understand. That was probably the best definition of family anyway.
Afterward, it took forever to get out of the fairgrounds. While we waited to merge onto the main road, he asked, “Do you want to go home or to my parents’ place for a while?”
It was late enough that we could call it a day but I should really sit down with Nadia. Since I’d be working the rest of the week, I had no idea if I’d see her before she left. Since I’d claimed to be waiting to talk to her in person, this was my shot.
“Casa Conrad...for a little while anyway.”
He nodded. “I’ll keep Ty busy while you square things with Nadia.”
“You know me so well.”
“I’m going for a Ph.D. in Lauren Barrett studies.”
I ran a hand gently across the back of his head. “That’s a complicated discipline, but I approve of your diligence. There will be extra homework tonight, by the way.”
He rolled his shoulders, hinting none too subtly that I should rub his neck. So I did, lengthening the tendons on either side with thumb and forefinger. Rob made a pleased sound; his skin was smooth and warm beneath my fingertips, and I didn’t think I’d ever seen him look so relaxed, particularly after a whole day with his family. These days, the comments just rolled right off him. I’d like to believe I had something to do with it.
We waited for his mom to park, then pulled in behind her. It was after ten, and the kid had conked out in the car. As Mr. Hot Ginger carried him inside, I nudged Nadia. “Back porch?”
“I’ll get some iced tea and be right out.”
In truth, it was more of a deck, beautifully built by Rob and his dad. The Conrads had a fantastic backyard; I’d always loved hanging out back here. I got a box of matches and lit the citronella candles set along the railings. Fireflies signaled to each other, lighting amber here and there, but the mosquitos would eat us up if without some repellent. I sprayed my bare bits, then settled in a glider chair to wait.
Two minutes later, Nadia came out, offered me a frosty glass. “So...you and Rob?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I probably should’ve said something sooner.”
“We stopped telling each other everything a while ago,” she pointed out.
“I don’t know whose fault that is.”
“Let’s not worry about that. But...I really miss you, Lauren. Your emails are fine, but I can read between the lines. I know when I’m being shut out.”
“Not on purpose.”
There were just things I couldn’t tell her, maybe ever. Shit, I’d confessed to Rob about being pulled over while giving a drunken blow job, and that wasn’t even the worst thing that happened when I was in Michigan...because of me, because I was out of control, denying I had a problem. My drinking didn’t escalate all the way to alcoholism, but it could have.
I added, “You didn’t tell me about Ty, either. Well, not before anyone else.”
“Then let’s split the blame halfway and decide what to do about it.”
“Okay. On my end, no more emails like I’d send a pen pal. I’ll tell you what’s really going on, and I’ll bitch like we used to.”
“I’d like that. And I promise I won’t keep secrets from you, either. I’ll keep you posted on what’s up with Ty and me. Plus, I’ll try to be more...aware of what’s going on with you. I’m so sorry that I didn’t notice—”
“It’s fine. I was doing my best not to let on.” And my ability to fake a whole personality, a whole life, was pretty solid.
“Are we okay?” she asked.
Setting my tea down, I got up and hugged her. “We’re great.”
“I don’t want certain details, but...you and Rob? Really?” She sounded so dubious.
“You’re his sister, you’re not supposed to get it. If you did, it would be über-creepy, Flowers in the Attic style.”
“But you’re actually going out.”
“Yeah. Okay, secret confession time. I’ve had a thing for him pretty much forever. There’s a reason I spent, like, every weekend at your house in high school.”
Nadia laughed. “Dude, I guessed that five years ago. But I thought you got over it.”
“Not really.”
She hesitated, as if unsure she should ask me this. “Is that why it was a no with Max?”
Max, the roommate I’d confessed to sleeping with, back when I was trying to shock Rob. Not that it worked.
“Partly.” But Max was also entangled inextricably with the worst night of my life, the night I realized I could do myself irreparable harm, unchecked. I’d never be able to look at him without remembering.
“I hope he makes you happy. And vice versa.”
“So far, so good.”
We talked for an hour more, catching each other up with gossip in Michigan and Nebraska. She was amazed to hear about Krista’s baby, even more shocked that I’d made friends with Avery. Nadia almost fell to the floor when I told her about the fight at the Stop & Go. In turn, she filled me in about Angus’s boyfriend, and how Courtney was working out as a roomie replacement. By the time Rob came out to get me, I felt like we were in a better place than we had been since our freshman year.