“Uh huh.” She grinned. “I got it yesterday.”
“What is it?”
“You’ll have to wait and see.” Her eyes sparkled and I was intrigued. “Don’t tell me you got lingerie.”
“Okay, I won’t tell you that.”
“Oh, my God, you went and got some new lingerie, didn’t you?” I asked excitedly.
“Zane, you wish.” She shook her head and laughed. “I didn’t get any lingerie.”
“Oh darn. Well, I got you a cute keychain with an actual key on it because you unlocked my heart. I also got you a cute pink notebook with a little Eiffel Tower statue on it because I want you to be able to write me more wonderful love songs.” I paused. “Okay, I didn’t intend to just blurt that out like that, I had a whole conversation planned for dinner, but you’re killing me here, Lucky. I want to know what you got me.”
“My, my, aren’t we impatient?”
“Did you get beads?” Dirty thoughts entered my mind and I hoped Lucky couldn’t tell what I was thinking.
“Beads?”
“You know.” I winked at her and she shook her head in confusion.
“You mean like a necklace?”
“No, I mean beads-beads.” I winked again and caressed her behind with my hands, and she shrieked as she realized what I was talking about.
“You’re so disgusting, Zane Beaumont.”
“What?” I faked a frown. “A guy can dream, right?”
“Argh. Let’s go eat.” She rolled her eyes at me and I watched her ass as she walked in front of me.
I tried to keep my thoughts clean, but all of a sudden, I was no longer hungry for food. I laughed at my dirty thoughts and then I thought back to Paul and his mother, and my heart started to crack. His mother loved him so much. She was the sort of woman that would do anything for her child. She would never give him up. She would never pretend she didn’t know him. I just didn’t understand why. In some ways, having seen my mother was worse than not having seen her. Before I was heartbroken and hateful due to the unknown, but now, now I was just heartbroken and devastated. I was literally devastated that my own mother could look into my eyes and not feel a thing. There was no doubt in my mind now that she didn’t love me. I didn’t know why she left, and frankly, I didn’t care. I hated her. I hated her with every fiber in my being for making me feel like a nothing. Like I wasn’t good enough. It was at moments like this when I witnessed the real love of a mother to her son, that I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I felt empty and alone, and as I walked, I felt like the pavement could swallow me up and that no one would care.
“I got some furry handcuffs.” Lucky’s voice interrupted my reverie and she grabbed my hand. I looked up at her blankly and she stared into my eyes with a searching look.
“What?” I tried to smile, but it didn’t quite hit my eyes.
“I got furry handcuffs?”
“Really?” I tried to look interested, but every time I thought about my mother, I felt as if I was living in the pits of hell and that nothing would be okay again.
“No, not really.” Her hands left mine and she reached up to my face. “Look at me, Zane.” She pleaded and I focused on the look in her eyes because they were shining bright with love for me. My breath caught as I stared at her, and she smiled a wide, happy beautiful smile. “I got you a puzzle piece.”
“Oh?”
“Well, two pieces. Two connected pieces.” She reached into her handbag and pulled out a small bag. “Look.” She handed me the bag and I looked at the two wooded jigsaw pieces that were joined together, one of the pieces said ‘Zane’ and the other side said ‘Lucky’ and there was a heart in the middle, joining the two pieces together.
“I don’t know what to say.” I stared into her eyes, unable to think of words to express how touched I was. “I’ve never received a gift that has meant this much to me.”
“Do you really like it?” She looked unsure as she spoke. “I know it’s not a Rolex watch or a gold chain or anything, but it represents my love for you. You’re a piece of me now, Zane. And I’m a piece of you. We’re connected by our love for each other. We complete each other, Zane. I know that more than I’ve known anything in my life. And I know that you’re hurting right now. I know that you’re hurting more than you’ll ever be able to express to me. But that’s okay. I love you. And I know how hard this is for you. I know how much you want to just curl up and scream and shout. I know that the pain in your heart sometimes feels greater than your love for me. But it’s okay, because I’m not letting go. I’m not leaving. You’re a good man. The best man I’ve ever met in my life.” She took a deep breath and continued. “Yes, there have been nights I have wanted to scream at you. There have been nights that I have questioned what I’m doing, and I’ve even wondered what I would have done if you had cheated on me with Angelique. But I know you, you would never hurt me. Everything you have done has been to protect me. You are my prince, Zane. You are my knight in shining armor. And I am here for you, forever. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through the pain. I don’t know how a mother can do that to her own child, but I know that there is no way that she will ever forgive herself for leaving you or for what transpired the other day. I could see it in her eyes.”
“It’s hard, Lucky.” I choked out in response, overwhelmed by her love and devotion to me. “One moment, I’m fine, and then it hits me, and I just feel like nothing is worth anything.”
“You’re grieving.” She hugged me tight. “You’re grieving because the dream you had is dead and the hope you held in your heart is gone.”
“Noah thought she was looking for us.” I could hear the pain in my voice and I was angry at how pitiful I sounded. “I’m glad he wasn’t there to witness what she said and did.”
“Maybe he was a lot stronger than you thought, Zane.” Lucky looked up at me. “Maybe he already knew.”
“Perhaps.” I took a deep breath and buried my face in the top of Lucky’s head. “I love you, Lucky. I know that there are going to be hard days and easy days, and I know that I’m going to annoy the shit out of you, and you’re going to make me worry like crazy, but I want you to know that I love every inch of you. Your love means the world to me. It is the only thing that is stopping me from going insane.”