“Listen, folks –” I began to say in my word-is-law voice.
May forced her way into the group.
Not good.
“What’s goin’ on?” she asked, eyes narrowed, she planted her hands on her ample hips, elbowing Zip and Duke as she did so.
“Nothing, May. Everything’s fine,” I answered even though it was an obvious lie. I didn’t need May to know what was happening. She’d freak.
May’s narrowed eyes focused on me. “You thinkin’ of breakin’ up with Crowe again?”
“No!” I snapped, exasperated. So I broke up with him once and it almost took effect. I’d learned my lesson. Was I going to pay for it for the rest of my life?
Jeez.
“Vance and I are solid, we’re real solid,” I went on, assuring May. “We’re… good.”
I started smiling to myself. I couldn’t help it. Vance and I were good. Even I, Miss No Relationship-or-Sex Experience, knew enough to know we were seriously good.
At the sight of my smile, Daisy gave a tinkly bell laugh.
The men weren’t laughing.
“Better wipe that goofy-assed smile of your face, Law, and get your f**kin’ head in the game,” Heavy barged right into my happy thoughts so I scowled at him.
“I have my head in the game,” I told him.
“Your mind’s somewhere else. Probably knitting baby booties,” Zip said and even though I knew he was trying to goad my head crackin’ mamma jamma to the surface, I still took the bait.
“No! Not booties. Knitting sweaters for Vance. Babies are out of the question, for now.”
Daisy gave another tinkly laugh.
“Hon, you thinkin’ about babies?” May asked, her face now the picture of motherly worry. “Don’t you think it’s a bit too soon? As in, seriously too soon? I mean, it’s only been a week.”
“A week and three days,” I replied.
“Oh for f**k’s sake,” Zip said to the ceiling.
“Let me get this straight. A second ago we were talkin’ about three angry drug dealers markin’ you for rape and torture and now we’re talkin’ about you knittin’ sweaters for Crowe?” Duke asked. “Jesus f**kin’ Christ. You f**kin’ girls.”
At Duke’s words May lost her motherly worry face and it went back to the narrow-eyed, pissed off face.
Then I watched, fascinated, as her face started to get red.
Zip and Duke moved a bit away from her.
Then she exploded. “What?” she screeched.
“What’s goin’ on?”
Everyone turned and Vance was standing at the end of the row.
He had his hands to his hips. He was wearing a black t-shirt, his black leather jacket and black cowboy boots. His hands had pushed the jacket back and you could see a gun clipped to the wide belt on his jeans.
He looked good.
He also looked unhappy.
Before I could say anything May advanced on him, arm up, finger pointed. She got right into his space and poked him in the chest.
Uh-oh.
That was spitting in the eye of the tiger if I ever saw it.
“What you doin’ about this, boy?” she snapped.
Um.
Yikes.
May called Vance “boy”. I wasn’t sure that was good.
Vance didn’t respond; he just looked down his nose at her.
I wasn’t sure that was good either.
“My girl’s been marked for rape and torture and you swing by to pick up your Arby’s roast beef and cheese?” May continued.
“It’s covered,” Vance replied.
May’s back was to me but I saw her body go rigid. “Covered?” she shrieked.
Time to intervene.
“May,” I said as I pushed through Duke and Heavy and headed toward Vance and May. “It’s okay,” I told her when I arrived. “I told Vance last night I was off the streets. He’s giving me a panic button and I’m checking in regularly.”
“Panic… checking…” May spluttered, “I do not believe what I’m hearing. What kind of lame-ass bullshit is this?”
I noticed with dismay that Roam, Sniff, Clarice, Indy and Jet had all joined our party.
“Jules has tracking devices on her car and in her bag. Her house is wired and under surveillance. I’m giving her a panic button and I know her schedule for the day. She checks in whenever she arrives somewhere,” Vance explained and I thought it was rather nice of him, he didn’t have to. Then his eyes cut to me. “Which you didn’t do when you arrived at Fortnum’s.”
Whoops.
That explained his unhappy face.
“That’s what I’m sayin’. Lame-ass bullshit,” May kept at it, luckily taking me off the hot seat for not calling in.
“May, I can take care of myself,” I put in.
“Yeah, maybe you can. Maybe you can’t. You’re dating one of the baddest badasses in Denver and he’s workin’ with the rest of the baddest badasses. Indy, Jet and Roxie got bodyguards. What are you? Chopped Liver?” After delivering this tirade, May turned back to Vance. “She look like chopped liver to you, boy?”
Oh no, there was the “boy” comment again.
“May, I think it best you don’t call Vance ‘boy’ anymore,” I whispered to her.
“He is a boy to me!” May shouted back at me.
I stepped away a bit.
“Jules didn’t want a bodyguard,” Vance informed May.
“Yeah, well, she didn’t want a boyfriend either and you took care of that,” May shot back.
Hmm.
She had a point.
“She’s got bodyguards,” Heavy joined the conversation from behind us.
“Yeah. Us,” Zip added.
May turned slowly and looked the Middle-Aged Man Posse up and down. You could tell she found them somewhat lacking and I understood why when she turned back to Vance.
“Roxie told me when she was being stalked, Luke Stark was her bodyguard.”
I had a feeling even though he was older Duke knew what he was doing. After my experience with Heavy, Zip and Tex, I knew for a fact they knew what they were doing.
Still, I had to admit they didn’t compare to Luke.
I bugged my eyes out at Vance in a non-verbal “Do something!” but he just crossed his arms on his chest.
I guessed it was up to me. “May, simmer down. It’s going to be fine,” I said.
She made an angry and unimpressed noise that sounded like “humph”.
“No, really. I have a lot of people looking out for me,” I went on.