“That calls for champagne!” Tod screeched. “I’m getting on a flight as we speak and Stevie’s in Baltimore. We’re both back in a couple of days and then we’re having a Toiletries and Tiaras party.”
By the way, when Tod wasn’t a drag queen both Stevie and Tod were flight attendants.
“Toiletries and Tiaras?” I asked.
“Everything goes with tiaras, girlie.”
There you go.
Call number five came when I was in Bath and Body Works at Cherry Creek Mall. It was Roxie.
“Daisy says you’re at the mall.” Her tone sounded accusatory.
“Um, yeah. Vance told me to leave my lotion –” I started to say.
“I know, I know. Why didn’t you call and tell me you were going to the mall?” she asked then didn’t give me time answer. “I’ll meet you outside the MAC store in fifteen minutes. We’ll shop, then get pizza at California Pizza Kitchen and we’ll gab.” Again, she didn’t let me answer, she disconnected.
Roxie and I were browsing in the underwear section of Nordstrom’s when call number six came, Ally. “Hey chickie. What’s this I hear about leaving your lotion at Vance’s?”
I gave her the lowdown.
“That is so cool!” she yelled then, “listen, I’m working a shift at Brother’s.” Ally, I’d found out the other night, was a bartender at My Brother’s Bar when she wasn’t working at Fortnum’s, “come over, I’ll buy you a drink to celebrate.”
“Can’t. Roxie and I are at the mall. We’re looking at undies then we’re getting a pizza. Anyway, Tod is going to have a Toiletries and Tiaras party in a couple of days,” I said.
“Works for me,” All replied, clearly always up for any kind of party.
I was buying three new silky, lacy and satiny underwear sets when call number seven came, Vance.
“Where are you?” he asked, not taking my instruction in common civility that you should identify yourself, he launched right in with macho-speak.
“Buying underwear at Nordstrom’s with Roxie.”
Silence.
“Vance?”
“Give me a minute, Princess.”
“Why?”
“I’m enjoying a mental picture.”
I grinned at the phone. “Still your mind, Crowe, and tell me why you called.”
“Lee tells me you’re goin’ out tonight.”
“How did he…?” I started.
This time, I figured it was the redhead who had the big mouth, Indy.
Jeez.
“Yeah, I’m thinking about it,” I said.
“I’m caught up in something. I can’t take your back.”
“That’s okay.”
More silence for a beat and then, “It’s not okay. I don’t want you on the streets without someone doin’ backup.”
“Crowe, I’ve been doing this alone for months.”
“You’re not doin’ it alone anymore.”
Again the macho-speak.
“Crowe –”
“I’ll ask around, get one of the guys to ride with you.”
“Crowe –” I started again but I heard the disconnect.
“God dammit!” I shouted at my dead phone.
“What?” Roxie asked.
“Vance is arranging for someone to ride with me tonight even though I’m perfectly fine going it alone. I mean, I did flip a drug dealer onto his back and nearly shot another one in the foot not a week ago and two nights ago, on my own, I dropped a pimp and two of his whores!” I snapped.
The customer service representative who was ringing up my sexy, silky, lacy, satiny delicate, pretty, girlie underwear gasped.
Roxie’s gaze swung to her then back to me and she giggled.
Then she said, “Ask Uncle Tex. He’s dying for some action.”
This was true, he was. But Tex was a little scary. Tex had an old gym bag full of tear gas at the ready. Tex, I thought, was not a good idea.
“I don’t think –” I started but she was already hitting the green button on her phone.
“Uncle Tex? It’s Roxie, listen Jules needs someone to ride with her tonight…”
I sighed and looked at the customer service representative. She looked pale.
“What can you do?” I asked her.
She shook her head and rushed through my purchase.
Call number eight came while we were walking towards California Pizza Kitchen. I pulled out my phone wondering if it could overheat. I’d never been this popular.
It was Zip and he didn’t have the courtesy to identify himself either.
“What? You got the big boys teachin’ you the fancy moves, you don’t need me, Heavy and Frank no more?”
Uh-oh.
“Zip –” I started.
“You’re comin’ in to target practice. Tonight.”
“Zip, I just doubled up on toiletries because Vance told me to leave mine at his place. Now I’m getting pizza with Roxie. Then I’m going out to crack some heads. I don’t have time to shoot.”
“You left your stuff at Crowe’s? I thought you two had broken up,” Zip asked.
“There was a misunderstanding, apparently we hadn’t.”
“Yeah. I bet. Heard you’ve been on the street with Stark. One moves out, the other moves in, the first one decides he doesn’t feel so much like movin’ out no more.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Don’t got time to process your love life. Girl, you are loco. Fuckin’ loco. You don’t leave your stuff at a man’s house after knowin’ him for a week!”
“Of course not,” I snapped, “I’ve known him for a week and two days.”
“Shee-it. Those f**kin’ guys,” Zip said then gave up. “You’re in here tomorrow night. No excuses.”
Disconnect.
When our pizzas were served, I asked Roxie. “So, did you ever double up on toiletries with Hank?”
She shook her head. “I lived in Chicago. When I was in Denver most of the time I stayed with Hank. I went back to Chicago for a few weeks to pack up and when I got to Denver, I moved right in with Hank. I was supposed to get an apartment for six months but Hank didn’t like that idea as in really didn’t like it.”
I blinked at her. “These guys move fast,” I whispered.
She smiled and I realized that she’d been living with Hank for as long as I’d known Vance, she’d moved to Denver the day I met him. Their relationship was still relatively new.