Further, Nate would expect the marriage to be a marriage which would mean, at least for awhile, Lily would have a mate, a partner, someone to share the burden.
And then there were the other, definitely more pleasurable bits of being married, married to Nate. Bits, she could not deny, especially after the last two times they’d been alone together, that she very much wanted.
So she made her choice.
And she knew it was costing her. The stress and strain was sneaking up on her and she felt it.
As the train pulled into Paddington, she felt the pain coming.
The headache, luckily, was muted, not roaring. But it was there and she knew what it heralded. She didn’t find herself a snack for fear of it coming back later to haunt her if she vomited, but she took two pain pills and prayed she was wrong about her prediction.
She used precious money that a day ago she’d never have used but she was, of course, in high heels and trying to fight an imminent migraine and she took a taxi instead of The Tube to Nate’s offices.
He’d left a card with Tash, telling her to call him whenever she wanted. Lily didn’t know if Tash had taken him up on this invitation but she found herself hoping that her daughter did. It would have been the perfect conversation as Tash rarely kept her mouth shut and Nate rarely opened his.
She gave the driver the address and concentrated on keeping the headache in abeyance.
However, as she walked through the door to the plush offices, she felt the nausea building in her stomach and fought it back.
In her head, she tried to plan her strategy at dealing with the migraine. She tried to time the meeting with Nate. Would it take ten minutes? Fifteen? An hour? She hoped not an hour. And she tried to assess the possibility of the pounding intensifying to the point she was made invalid, wondering if she could make it back home on the train.
As the pain intensified, she decided she could not. She would need to get a hotel room for a couple of hours just to rest and let the migraine run its course. She’d be queasy and not herself when it was over but she thought she’d likely be able to get home hopefully in time.
Lily had not told Nate she was coming. She wanted the element of surprise. She was giving in but he had to give in too. She wasn’t stupid and she wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. She wasn’t moving from Clevedon. If he wanted Tash, he’d have to come to them.
She walked up to the reception desk which seemed an impossible distance from the front doors. The walls were some sort of highly-shined wood panelling that Lily found way too bright for her sensitive eyes to take. The reception desk was a huge semi-circle made of the same wood that could easily have sat five. But only one very pretty woman sat behind it.
“Hi,” Lily greeted, fighting back the sick feeling in her stomach, “I’m Lily Jacobs, I’m here to see Mr. McAllister.”
The girl’s eyes travelled the length of Lily but Lily barely noticed. She had to put her hand to the desk to steady herself as she saw the flashes in her eyes.
No, no, no, she thought, not this soon.
It was coming on her quickly, far more quickly than normal. Most likely the strain of the last few weeks, all the shocks, the emotions.
“Is he expecting you?” the woman broke into her thoughts.
“No, but it’s important. If he’s free, I’d like to speak with him.”
The girl watched Lily for a moment and asked, “Are you all right?”
With effort, Lily focussed on her, “Just a headache.”
She carefully assessed Lily and said, “I’ll ring his office, won’t be a second.” Her voice was kind and then moments later she went on. “Hiya Jennifer, there’s a Ms. Lily Jacobs here to see Mr. McAllister. She says she doesn’t have an appointment but it’s important.”
Lily leaned more of her weight on her hand on the woman’s desk. Soon, she knew, she might not be able to hold herself upright.
The receptionist was on hold and she put her hand over the mouthpiece and said to Lily, “Why don’t you sit down? Jennifer’s ringing him now, I’ll…” She stopped talking and Lily concentrated closely on her face. If she didn’t she just might throw up. The flashing lights in her eyes were now zooming and the pain in her head was magnifying alarmingly.
The woman’s eyes widened and her lips parted at whatever she heard on the phone.
Lily didn’t care. She wasn’t going to make it. She needed to find somewhere to lay down immediately. Somewhere quiet, cool and very, very dark.
“Mr. McAllister is coming down himself,” the receptionist breathed as if the Lord Almighty had rung to invite her to a picnic. She was staring at Lily with new interest but she didn’t like what she saw. “You’re not okay,” she accused but it was soft, thoughtful accusation and she surged from her chair and made her way around the desk.
Lily moved to face the desk fully and she put both her hands on it to hold herself up. She dropped her head and started to take deep breaths. She felt the woman’s hand on her back and tried not to flinch at the touch. Touch was not good.
“Is there something I can do?” she queried. “Do you need a glass of water? Let’s get you seated.”
Lily nodded, a seat would be good. Standing was bad, very, very bad.
She was beyond speech, beyond much of anything, the pain was at her left temple, unexplainable, indescribable, twisting pain.
“Lily.” She heard the deep rumble of Nate’s voice saying her name but she didn’t turn.
“Mr. McAllister, I think something’s wrong with her,” the receptionist murmured.
Nate was at her side in less than a second. She felt him rather than saw him, her eyes were squeezed shut.
“Jesus, Lily,” he muttered, his heavy, warm hand replacing his receptionist’s at her back and his other hand went to her waist where he gently turned her to face him.
In doing so, she had to give a great deal of her weight to him as she took her hands from the desk. His body tensed at the unexpected burden and her hands moved to the sides of his waist to hang on for dear life.
He pulled her to him with one hand, bracing her weight against his body while his other hand went below her chin and tilted her face to his.
Unseeing and unfocussed, she looked in the vague direction of his face.
“Nate, I think I need to lie down,” she whispered.
He moved suddenly then and she cried out. Sudden movement was not good. Any movement was not good.
But then she was freed of supporting herself at all because she was lifted in his arms. She rested an arm around his shoulders, a hand on his chest and her head in the bend of his neck.