Then he knew.
He couldn’t believe it but he knew. It was nearly as unbelievable as the fact that she hadn’t been touched when he first had her. This was impossible to believe.
“There haven’t been any others,” he stated and her eyes flew to him. “Have there?” he asked softly.
She hesitated for a moment and then she said, “I know you think I’m the most, well, that I…” She made a strange, frustrated noise then burst out, “there just wasn’t time!”
He realised she was making excuses like this news was a bad thing. Like this wasn’t a gift from the gods, like her return, like Natasha, like the fact she just agreed to marry him.
“Lily.” His voice was low with meaning but she was beginning a roll.
“There was always something. When Tash was young, I was recovering then after that, I was just too tired. Then there was work, laundry, Tash, Fazire, the damned car. I mean, there wasn’t time.”
Nate tried and failed to cut in patiently by murmuring, “Lily.”
She talked over him. “And then there’s finding someone. I mean, Nate, there are a lot of losers out there. A lot. You would just not believe.”
She was underlining her words again like he remembered she’d do when she was agitated. It was so very Lily, not meek, mild, world-weary Lily but his Lily, spirited and hilarious.
Nate’s body started to shake with laughter and relief and what he’d felt before, something he didn’t recognise but now he knew was triumph mingled liberally with joy.
“Lily.” His voice was suffused with mirth.
She ignored him and her eyes rolled to the ceiling. “And some of the things they said. One guy even told me I had nice breath! He complimented my breath as a pick up line. Please tell me you’ve never done that.” Her gaze came back to him at her query, she finally felt his body shaking and her eyes narrowed. “What’s funny?”
He decided he didn’t want to read her thoughts in the darkened room and with effort he let her go but laced his fingers in hers. He walked to the window, dragging her with him and threw open the drapes. Then he immediately pulled her back into his arms.
“I asked, what’s funny?” she demanded.
He smiled down on her and her face changed when she saw it. He noted some of the old expression she used to wear when she looked at him shone through and the joy he was feeling intensified exponentially.
“Darling, as much as I hate the thought of you going it alone with Natasha for eight years, I hate the thought of you with anyone else more. So, I hope you’ll forgive me when I tell you I’m glad you haven’t shared your beautiful body with anyone but me.”
“Well!” she huffed, clearly at a loss for what to say and she turned her face away from him so he couldn’t see her expression.
He tilted it right back with a hand at her jaw and he saw confusion in her eyes, confusion and relief. “Now that that’s out in the open, do you agree to my condition?”
Again she looked adorably confused when he switched to an earlier subject and he noted for future reference that she was foggy after a migraine.
Then her expression cleared.
She sighed. Hugely.
“I suppose,” she gave in.
His arms tightened and his head descended.
“If we can adopt,” she interrupted his descent.
“We’ll adopt,” he said against her lips.
“Okay,” she whispered, her body melted into his and, finally, gratefully, he kissed her.
Chapter Twenty
Lily
Lily woke up alone in Nate’s colossal bed. She’d never seen a bed so huge in her entire life. It was even bigger than the bed he’d bought her and she thought that was the biggest bed she’d ever seen.
She listened for a moment to the silence in the enormous room and wondered where Nate was. She rolled languorously to her side to see if there was an alarm clock and she saw it was nearly nine thirty.
She blinked at it in surprise. She hadn’t slept that late in years. Lily didn’t even think she had the capacity to sleep later than seven o’clock.
She rolled onto her back and contemplated the ceiling and the softness of Nate’s sheets, which were other-worldly soft.
Nate, she realised, if he was anything like he used to be, must be at work.
She threw the covers back and headed to the bathroom while thinking rather contentedly about the night before and, especially, more-than-contentedly, that morning.
Surprisingly, Nate hadn’t made love to her after they agreed to get married. He’d finally kissed her (after their mortifying exchange about contraception which she did not want to remember, ever).
But that was it.
Well, not it exactly as he kissed her a great deal throughout the evening, held her from behind and nuzzled her neck as she was talking to Fazire (luckily, Fazire knew she was usually disoriented after a migraine and thus didn’t press her as to why she was, all of a sudden, at Nate’s place in London) and linked his fingers in hers while they ate the food he’d had delivered.
Later, they finally went to bed, Lily wearing one of the nightgowns Laura had bought her. Laura didn’t purchase twenty nightgowns, she’d purchased three, four sets of underwear, two outfits, three pairs of shoes and two huge bags full to the brim with toiletries and cosmetics of every size, shape and colour. Laura could shop for England in the Olympics and win the gold medal, hands down.
Once in bed, Nate had pulled her back to his front and wrapped his arm around her waist. Then he’d pressed his face in her hair, just like he used to do and in that moment Lily had given herself the momentary luxury to allow the eight years simply to melt away.
Then, she laid in bed waiting. Nothing.
“Um… Nate?” she’d whispered into the dark room.
“Mm?” The murmur sounded behind her and his arm tightened about her waist.
She didn’t know what to say. So she said, “Never mind.”
She realised she was slightly disappointed. Then she realised she was more-than-slightly disappointed. She hadn’t exactly gone there to throw herself at him just piece her family back together. But they had just agreed to pledge their troth. Certainly some sort of celebratory consummation effort was in order.
“You’re not yourself,” Nate said softly.
“What?” Lily asked.
“I’ll make love to you when you’re recovered. Right now, you’re still not yourself.”
“Oh,” she whispered.
Something about that made her heart flutter. She didn’t understand completely why but she felt it was important.