He interrupted her. “It’s you.”
“Me?” Her eyes widened.
At her response, he let out a low, humourless laugh which caused her to come closer to him, her face changed as worry filled it.
“Nate?”
“Why are you here?” he asked suddenly.
She wasn’t following, her worry turned to confusion. “Here?”
“In London, why did you come to see me?”
Again, her face changed, this time to a sort of sadness.
“Nate, I think you’re changing the subject.” Her voice was so soft, if she was any further away than in his arms, he wouldn’t have heard her.
He didn’t answer.
“You said you aren’t all right,” she reminded him. “Why aren’t you all right?”
He still didn’t answer. Something stopped him. He didn’t know what it was but whatever it was always stopped him. It stopped him from speaking, stopped him from letting anyone close, stopped him from trusting anyone with his thoughts, his feelings, anything about him.
Even Lily.
She waited. Her patience thinned and he watched it in silence.
Then she exploded, “Damn it, Nate, talk to me! What’s the matter?”
At her outburst, the sudden loudness of her voice after he’d placed such a high price on silence because of her pain, not to mention the fact that he felt, after the episode of hours before, as if she could shatter into a million pieces and be lost to him again but this time forever, he admitted tersely, “You scared the hell out of me.”
Her face changed again, this time to understanding. And she didn’t pull away from him. He thought she would at his admission but she didn’t. Her fingers tightened on his arms reassuringly.
“Oh Nate, it’s just a headache,” Lily whispered.
“Stop saying that, Lily, it isn’t just a headache. I’ve never seen anything like that in my life.”
She, to his complete astonishment, tried to tease. “Then you must have lived a very sheltered life.”
“No, Lily, I haven’t,” Nate returned instantly, each word clipped and she immediately realised her mistake but he didn’t allow her to dwell on it or remonstrate herself for it. Instead he informed her, “You have an appointment with a neurologist tomorrow.”
“I do?” This time, her expressive face filled with surprise.
And it was then, unusually belatedly, that it dawned on him that her face was expressive again. Her guard was down, she was standing in his arms lightly pressed against his body and not trying to pull away.
She was talking to him and hadn’t once mentioned the name “Alistair”.
His arms tightened, bringing her deeper into his body.
“Yes, you do,” he said softly, feeling it rather than knowing it. The reason why she was there.
“Why? There’s nothing they can do. I’ve been to doctors,” she told him.
“Humour me,” he returned.
“Nate –”
“Do it for Tash,” he muttered, bringing his hand up to tuck a heavy sheaf of her extraordinary hair behind her ear.
“I don’t have to, Nate. I’ve had the headaches since I was a little girl, just a few then. They came more often when I started my period. Every other month before my cycle and any time I got over-stressed.”
“Lily?”
“Yes?”
“This discussion is over,” he stated flatly.
She stared at him, her expressive face turning rebellious and he realised then how much he missed her.
He knew he missed her. He knew it. He’d lived with it for years, most especially the last couple of weeks.
But now that she was back, now that she was truly Lily, her smile quirked, her face telling him exactly what she was thinking before she opened her mouth to speak, he felt her loss like a blow.
And her return like a blessing.
He bent his head to brush his lips against hers and she only stiffened slightly in his arms.
Progress.
“Let’s talk about why you’re in London,” he suggested in a tone that said it was anything but a suggestion.
“Can I get dressed?”
“No.”
She gasped.
Then, a moment later, she sighed.
“Can we do it in another room?” she asked huffily.
“No.”
“Nate –”
“Now you’re avoiding the subject.”
Her lips puckered and her eyes slid away from him.
Any residual fury at his ineffectiveness in the face of her pain ebbed out of him as he sensed victory.
“Before I say what I’m going to say,” her eyes came forward and her hands came between them to fidget together against their chests, “I’m going to warn you that I have certain conditions.”
His arms moved from around her, he took hold of her hands in his and he pulled them gently behind her back, pressing her soft body fully against his.
“Nate!” she exclaimed.
“Just say what you have to say Lily.”
“Let go of my hands.”
She was avoiding the subject.
“You were fidgeting,” he informed her.
“So?”
“It was distracting.”
“Trust me, you’ll listen to what I have to say.”
“It wasn’t distracting me, it was distracting you.”
Her head jerked sharply, she stared at him a moment and then the quirky smile played about her lips but didn’t come out in full force.
“You’re too perceptive for your own good,” she grumbled but didn’t mean it, there was a hint of admiration to her words and at any other moment in his life he would have allowed himself to feel pleasure at it.
Not at this moment, however. This moment was too precious to allow his mind to wander to anything but her.
“Lily.” His voice held a warning.
“What now?” she asked.
“You’ve something to say?” he prompted.
“All right, fine,” she mumbled but then didn’t say anything.
He waited. She kept her quiet.
He waited. She puckered her lips and slid her eyes away again.
He waited. She slid her eyes back and looked at him, opened her mouth then closed it again.
“Lily,” Nate repeated then he couldn’t help himself, he felt his body begin to shake with laughter.
“Are you laughing?” she groused, locking onto another subject to dodge the one she was avoiding.
He released her wrists but held her where she was with his still about her. He bent his head and buried his face in the fragrant hair at her neck.