But all I knew was that he needed me. And that I needed him. That we could heal each other.
How could I turn my back on that?
So I didn’t say a word. I let Brooks make his own deductions. As the silence between us lengthened, my friend sighed sadly.
“I can’t stand by and watch you throw everything away like this,” he said, appealing to me in a last-ditch effort to get me to see reason.
But I had come to learn that my feelings for Maxx weren’t reasonable.
“Then don’t watch,” I murmured as I gathered my things, leaving Brooks alone with his disappointment in the crumbling remnants of our friendship.
I hurried out to my car, keeping my head down, wiping the tears that fell down my cheeks.
“Aubrey.”
I looked up, the wind whipping my hair and obscuring my vision. Maxx stood in the shadows. He was recognizable only by the slope of his shoulders and his head full of blond curls, which was uncovered in the cold air.
But now I would know him anywhere.
I started to walk toward him as though pulled by an invisible cord. He met me halfway, his arms reaching out. I froze, looking around, worrying about being seen.
Maxx picked up on my hesitation. “What is it?” he asked.
I put my hand on his arm, resisting the need to fall into him. “We just have to be careful, Maxx. You can’t be touching me in public. What happened tonight in group, while I appreciate it, was too much. People will think there’s something going on between us,” I rebuked gently.
Maxx frowned, his mouth thinning into a line. “Well, there is something going on between us. Right?” he asked, taking a step back, his voice gruff, a shutter going down over his eyes.
I could sense the impact of my rejection. He was pulling away from me, preparing to be hurt. With little thought to common sense, I grabbed him and yanked him toward me, my hands coming up to frame his face.
“There is so much going on between us that it scares me, Maxx. This”—I indicated the space between us—“could get the both of us into a lot of trouble. You’re in a group that I’m helping to facilitate. I could get kicked out of the counseling program. This would most definitely be in violation of your probation. We have to think about all of the implications here,” I reasoned.
As if angered by my appeal, Maxx grabbed my face and roughly pressed his lips to mine, his tongue parting my lips and invading the deepest recesses of my mouth. He plundered and took without waiting for my compliance. This wasn’t about me. This kiss was all about him. He pulled away before I could react.
“I don’t give a shit about the implications, Aubrey,” he warned, his eyes flashing in the shadows.
My heart beat furiously in my chest. Maxx was a loose cannon. There was no way to control or dictate how he would handle the situation we found ourselves in.
He felt it, he reacted.
He thought it, he acted.
How could I not expect this to blow up in my face?
And even more perplexing was why a part of me did not care at all. Why was I thrilled at the intensity I saw when he looked at me, no matter the consequences? Why did I find myself arching my body to get closer to him as we stood in a darkened corner of campus where we could be discovered by anyone?
“Come home with me,” Maxx murmured as he bent his head low, nuzzling my ear. I shivered, and it had nothing to do with the cold.
“Please,” he whispered against my neck.
“We have to be careful,” I cautioned before my wits left me. Maxx didn’t acknowledge my words. He didn’t alleviate my worries. He didn’t comfort or placate. Instead, he pulled me into the black and devoured me there. And I was happy to go with him.
And later at his apartment, as he undressed me, slowly, reverently, I convinced myself that this choice to be with him was the only one worth making.
Maxx kissed every inch of my body, spreading my thighs with his strong hands and using his tongue and lips on the most intimate part of me.
I had given myself to him completely, bared my heart and soul.
I watched him as he removed his clothing and then covered me with his body, positioning himself between my legs.
One last twinge of reluctance buzzed around in my head. The fear that this step wasn’t one I should be taking. That sex with Maxx was binding and final. He would own me.
And I wasn’t confident his possession was something I could survive intact.
But then Maxx kissed me deeply and thoroughly, and all thoughts of denying this moment were gone.
I wrapped my arms around him, my legs securely at his hips. The tip of him pushed slowly inside me, joining us together.
I gasped, he cried out. I moved, he held on. He pressed himself as deeply as my body would allow. Every inch of us fitted together, uniting perfectly.
Maxx growled romantic nonsense in my ear as he slid in and out of me. “I’ve been waiting my entire life for you.” He kissed the sensitive skin beneath my ear.
I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t want to make promises and declarations I was scared neither of us could keep.
Maxx dug his fingers into my thigh as he lifted it up and over his hip. He cupped my cheek and looked down at me, his eyes dark and full of a tenderness that took my breath away.
“I want this, forever,” he whispered, his voice hitching as he angled his hips and pushed deeper. I matched his rhythm, his desperate words ringing in my ears as we climaxed.
These were sentiments I didn’t think it possible he should be feeling. Not yet. I wasn’t sure I was ready for his pleas of forever.
Yet I longed for it.
And in the heated darkness, I couldn’t deny I felt these passionate truths as well.
Chapter twenty-one
aubrey
waking up the following morning, I was on the edge of a full-on freak-out. I blinked my eyes in the dimness, trying to make out where I was. My brain couldn’t compute why I wasn’t at home, in bed, surrounded by my stuff.
Then arms tightened around me, lips brushing the back of my neck, and I froze. Well, shit, now I remembered.
I had slept with Maxx Demelo.
His words from the night before drifted back through my sleepy brain. Did he really want me forever? Or was it the sex talking?
My chest felt tight as I remembered the look on his face as he stared down at me, his eyes soft and aching with a need I felt just as intensely.
But right now, I really needed to use the bathroom.
I squirmed in Maxx’s embrace. My bladder felt ready to burst, but Maxx didn’t seem to want to let me go anytime soon.
I turned on my side, thinking I could slide out from beneath his arms. But now that I was facing Maxx—his eyes closed, his sleeping face looking surprisingly young—I didn’t want to move.