Brooks was on his feet and by my side in an instant. He held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Let’s just take a moment, Evan, and calm down,” he said soothingly, employing all of those superb counseling skills he had been developing over the last four years.
Well, apparently, the words calm down had the exact opposite of the intended effect on Evan. He kicked his chair, sending it clattering to the floor. He started to escalate quickly, his eyes bulging out of his head. Now that I was looking directly at them, it was obvious that both he and April had been using before group.
So employing reason and logic wasn’t going to be an option.
“Evan, I think it’s time you left,” Brooks said firmly, making small, inconspicuous steps toward Mr. I’m-ready-to-go-psycho-on-your-ass.
April tried to put a hand on her boyfriend’s arm, but he threw it off with enough force to knock her backward. The rest of the group members were slowly moving away. Cowards.
“I’ll leave when I’m f**king ready to leave!” Evan yelled, spit flying from his mouth. He looked crazed. He looked ready to inflict some serious damage . . . to Brooks’s face and mine.
He took one menacing step toward me, and I couldn’t help but back up. I didn’t care if it showed weakness, if I was practically announcing to the entire room that this guy scared the crap out of me. My survival instincts kicked in, and my need to get away from him outweighed everything else.
Before Evan could move toward me again, Maxx had him by the front of his shirt and shoved against the wall. He pressed his forearm against his throat and leaned in, his face so terrifying it made Evan instantly stop struggling.
“Don’t you ever f**king talk to her like that!” Maxx pressed into his throat again, making Evan gasp for breath.
“Do you hear me, shit stain? If you ever put a hand on her, I’ll kill you!” he roared. Evan flinched, and the fight had left him completely. April was sobbing in her chair, and the rest of the group members were gaping in shock at the turn of events.
Brooks grabbed Maxx’s arm and pulled on him. “Get off him, Maxx! Now!” he hollered, but Maxx was like a wall of stone as he continued to glare at Evan, not bothering to acknowledge Brooks at all.
“You need to apologize to Aubrey. Right now. If you don’t, you’ll be pissing out your teeth for a week!” Maxx said, his voice low and cold. He pressed his arm harder into Evan’s throat, and the other man started to turn an unnatural shade of blue.
Brooks yanked on Maxx’s arm again, and finally he let himself be pulled back. Evan gulped in a breath, his eyes darting to me. “I’m sorry,” he rasped, rubbing his throat.
I could only nod, just as shocked as the rest of the room with Maxx’s He-Man transformation. Evan grabbed April’s hand, and they practically ran from the room.
Brooks was saying something to Maxx, but Maxx moved past him and headed straight to me. He took my hands and brought them up to his mouth. He didn’t kiss my skin, only held them against his lips as he closed his eyes and tried to get himself together.
The room was deathly still, everyone watching us. This was bad. I really should put a stop to it. But I couldn’t move. I was trapped by the mass of quivering need that unleashed in my belly the moment Maxx touched me.
He finally opened his eyes and brought my hands down. “Are you all right?” he asked me quietly.
I could only nod, as I was finding even breathing difficult. The intensity of his gaze was unsettling, but God help me if I didn’t want to throw my arms around his neck and hold him.
His fingers slowly uncurled and released me. My hands fell to my sides, where they hung limply. We stood so close, our chests were touching. He lifted his hand to brush my cheek but stopped himself before making contact.
Then without another word, he backed away, leaving the room.
No one moved for an endless moment, and then it was as though everyone started heading for the door at once. I tried to make a general sort of announcement about next week’s session, but my voice was gone. Brooks had to take over.
I continued to stand there, reeling from what had happened, from the fact that Maxx had made crystal clear to everyone in the room that there was something going on between us, something that could get us both into a lot of trouble.
Once the room was empty, Brooks slammed the door closed and whipped around to face me.
“I can’t believe you, Aubrey! Are you stupid?” he bit out hatefully.
I flinched but didn’t say anything. I couldn’t deny what he was saying, yet I couldn’t put an admission into words. I was mute in my guilt.
Brooks angrily closed up the metal chairs and shoved them against the wall. I pulled myself together as best I could and cleaned up the papers that Evan had scattered across the floor.
“You’re going to ruin any chances you have at becoming a counselor. This is 101 shit, Aubrey! You don’t get involved with clients! I can’t believe you’re being so reckless. And for that guy? Seriously?” Brooks yelled.
But then my own anger rose up to meet his. I couldn’t take his sanctimonious condemnation a moment longer.
“Don’t you think I know all of this?” I was breathing fast and heavy. Brooks stood with his hands jammed in his pockets as if to stop himself from wringing my neck.
“I can’t explain why it happened. I didn’t want it to!” I implored.
“So you admit that something has happened, then?” Brooks asked, looking pained, and I knew that I had no right to be angry. Brooks was only looking out for me as a friend would.
“Not really. Not yet,” I said quietly.
“Then you still have time to put a stop to it, before you can’t undo it. You’ll get thrown out of the counseling program, Aubrey. This is a major violation of ethics,” Brooks argued, his anger fading, his shoulders drooping.
“I can’t, Brooks,” I let out on a choked whisper.
Brooks’s mouth tightened in frustration.
“Why not? Why him?” he asked me.
I shook my head, pressing my fingers into my temples, trying to stave off the headache that had started to throb behind my eyes.
How could I possibly explain to Brooks why I couldn’t walk away from Maxx? That I saw something in that desperate man that made me want to help him. That I just knew there was something great, something beautiful, under the surface that only I would be able to see. That my heart, my soul, hungered for him in a way that I had never experienced before.
It sounded ridiculous. Illogical. Hormonal. Those thoughts made me look like a fool, and maybe on some level that’s exactly what I was.