“We are. Now. But before our father died, we weren’t. I grew up hating him because of my mother. Then I met Holly, and there was no hate to feel.”
“What happened to her? Why aren’t you with her now?”
The terrible events of the night that changed my life flashed through my mind. “She’s dead. A drug overdose when I wasn’t there to keep her safe.”
Abbi’s eyes filled with tears and she looked up at me. “I’m sorry, Kane. I didn’t mean to bring up things like that. I didn’t know.”
I smoothed her hair under my palm and kissed her gently on the lips. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. I should have been there to protect her, but I didn’t have a choice.”
“Why?” she asked in a tiny voice filled with fear.
Swallowing hard, I confessed to her all that I’d done, knowing that I might lose her because of it. “One night, she and I were out and four guys jumped us. I offered them everything I had thinking it was a mugging, but that’s not what they wanted. While the three of them held me down, the biggest one raped her as they forced me to watch. I swore to every one of them that I’d find them and make them pay, even as they were beating the hell out of me. I came to and saw Holly in a bloody heap next to me, barely conscious. When I could finally move without every bone in my body aching, I found every single one of them and beat the hell out of them. The one I’d watched rape her I went too far with and beat him to death. I didn’t mean to, but I wasn’t sorry.”
Abbi cradled my face and kissed me. “Oh my God, Kane. I had no idea.”
“Nobody knows. I’ve never told Cash or Stefan. Or anyone before you. They tried me for manslaughter and because I was a minor and he was an adult who’d raped Holly, they sentenced me to juvenile detention until I was twenty-one. So for four long years, I lived in a cell like any other prisoner. When they let me out, all I could think of was returning to Holly, but she was gone. She was never able to handle what that fucking animal did to her or what I did to him to make them take me away.”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring all this up.”
I pushed the hair out of her eyes and looked down at her. “You needed to know the kind of man you’re with. I’m not sorry I killed him, just like I wouldn’t be sorry if I killed your ex-boyfriend for hurting you. I’ve got this rage inside me that takes over.”
Abbi stayed silent as the truth of who I was settled into her mind and then said, “I’ve never had anyone defend me. Maybe I should think it’s wrong for you to want to kill someone who hurt me, but I don’t. Every man I’ve ever been with hurt me, and never once did anyone step up to help me.”
I leaned forward to kiss the spot near her eye where he’d hit her right before I met her. “I will never let anyone hurt you again. I promise you that.”
Snuggling up against me, she said quietly, “You have this club, your car, and so much, and I have nothing. Why would you want someone like me?”
“I didn’t know why or how, but I knew from the moment I saw you that night in Cash’s office that I’d never live another day without you in my mind or in my arms. I didn’t think I deserved someone so gentle and kind, so I did everything I could to keep you away all the while unable to think of anything but you, but it was no use. I couldn’t go on like that. Then when Gemma told me you were at The Carousel Club, something inside me snapped. I had to take you away from there.”
“Do you still love that girl?”
I thought about that for a minute. “In some ways, I’ll always love her. She was the first person to show me love. But I’m not in love with a ghost.”
“I don’t know what to think of all this, Kane. I’m sure you’ve noticed I don’t seem to do slow and easy when it comes to relationships. I just broke up with Aaron, and here I am naked in your arms. You told me about you, so I want to make sure you know who I am.”
“I know everything I need to know, Abbi. You’re beautiful and sweet and gentle. You make me feel something I was sure I’d never feel again. I don’t need to know anything more.”
She sat up and shook her head. “No, I want you to. You believed in me to tell me about who you are, so I want to tell you who I am.”
“Okay, but it doesn’t matter what you tell me. To me, you’re my Abbi.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she began to speak. “I had the perfect family. My mother and father loved me, and I was their only child. And then one day it was all gone. My father died when I was ten, and my mother was devastated. She was so lonely. All she wanted was what she’d had with my father, so she looked for someone to fill that emptiness from my father’s death, but no one was ever enough. Her boyfriends came and went, each one spending just enough time in my life for me to get attached before they left or she left them. All she wanted to find was what she’d had with my father, but she never could.”
I watched a tear slide down Abbi’s cheek and wiped it with my knuckle. She flinched and opened her eyes. Just seeing her this sad tore at my heart. “I promise you’ll never be alone again, angel.”
“Everyone’s said that, Kane. And then everyone left. When I started dating boys, I went for all the wrong kind—the bad boy—and every one of them was bad. I’ve been beaten unconscious, and I’ve done some things other people might not think are right because I couldn’t see any other way. You called me angel, but I’m no angel.”
I pulled her down on top of me and whispered against her lips, “You’re my angel.”
“Then I’m a fallen angel, Kane. I may not have killed anyone, but I’ve done things that were almost as bad.”
“Then we belong together. Two people who’ve done terrible things and had terrible things done to them finally deserve happiness, don’t you think?”
“I want to believe that. I do. I’ve just never seen that before.”
“I’ll have to make you happy then.”
“I need to know something. Will you promise to tell the truth?”
“Yes. Always.”
“Why didn’t you watch me dance tonight? It meant so much to me that you would watch me, and then you said you didn’t even see much.”
Smoothing the hair from her face, I looked into her eyes and told her the truth I knew might frighten her away. “I did watch you dance tonight. I stood in front of those monitors and watched every second of it, even though my gut hurt just seeing you dance for other men. I wanted to rush into each room and beat the fuck out of every one of them for watching you. I wanted to tear Rhett in half each time he touched you. I know it’s wrong, and I know I have to fight what I feel, but I wanted to hurt them.”