He slammed back into me with a deep grunt and moaned, “Never. I can’t do it. I don’t want to stay away.”
His cock slid up into me until we were joined completely, my body needing what only he could give me. Each stroke into my pussy sent a string of sensation from his piercings caressing against my flesh. And with each time he pushed deep into me, I was sure I’d come, but then his cock would retreat from my body, leaving me wanting at that point just before he gave me any release.
With each moment, he edged me closer to my orgasm, so close and then he’d back off just enough to keep me needing him. Never before had I craved a man like I craved him.
I watched his face as he fucked me, those blue eyes so intent as they stared into mine. This man who so often had seemed to not even notice me now made me feel like he looked down into my soul with his gaze.
His hands moved up to cradle my face, and he whispered in his raspy voice, “Don’t let go, no matter what I do.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
Clinging to his neck, I pressed my heels into his back to hang on as he stroked in and out of me. Grunting, he fucked me hard and slow, taking my body over. The icy façade and aloofness he nearly always wore disappeared, replaced by a level of passion no one had ever shown me.
“Abbi,” he whispered hoarsely in my ear. “Tell me to go away. Tell me you never want to see me again.”
“No! Don’t stop,” I cried as my body willingly surrendered to his like it never had with anyone else before.
He looked at me and rasped, “I’ll only end up hurting you. Get away from me before I do.”
I cradled his face and pressed my forehead to his as his thrusts slowed. The pain in his eyes tore at my heart. Why did he keep saying he would hurt me?
“Don’t make me go, Kane. Whatever you’re afraid of, I’m not. I want you. Don’t you want me?”
He stopped and smiled so sweetly, like he only did when we were alone. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Since the moment I met you, I haven’t been able to think of anything else. I’ve been alone for so long that I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. Alone in these rooms hidden away I couldn’t hurt anyone.”
“I’m tougher than I look, I promise. But do you want me or is this because I’m just here with you?”
Closing his eyes, he said softly, “You’re all I can think of, Abbi. I was ready to be alone for the rest of my life, but now I can’t think of living another day without you.”
I caressed his face and said, “Look at me, Kane. I’m not afraid.”
His eyelids slowly lifted and he shook his head. “I hurt everyone I touch. I have these demons inside me that make do things I shouldn’t. I’m just afraid they’ll make me hurt you someday.”
“No, I can’t believe that. You wouldn’t do that.”
He slid out of me and lifted me up in his arms to carry me to the bedroom. Placing me on the bed, he gently caressed the ragged ends of my hair and kissed me so sweetly, I couldn’t imagine him ever hurting me.
We made love no less intense than we’d started just minutes before, but now something had changed in him. In his powerful hands, I felt worshipped and cared for. The hardness that surrounded him faded away, and as he wrapped his arms around me, I sensed his loneliness that had been masquerading as coldness begin to disappear.
His body invaded mine and took over, but I wasn’t afraid. With each thrust into me, I felt more than just the physical ecstasy he gave me. In his care, I felt secure and loved.
When I came, I gave myself over to him believing he’d protect and take care of me. As we lay there in each other’s arms, I placed my head on his chest and whispered, “I trust you, Kane. Of all the people in this world, I believe in you and that you won’t hurt me.”
His fingers played with the ends of my hair and he kissed me on the top of the head. Hugging me tighter, he whispered to me in those little rooms he hid away in, “I won’t ever hurt you on purpose, Abbi. I swear.”
I HELD Abbi close to me as my heartbeat returned to normal, never wanting to let her go. I’d fought what she brought out in me from the first time I laid eyes on her, but now I couldn’t imagine ever being without her. Her head on my chest, she sighed as I squeezed her to me and we lay there in silence while she traced her finger over my skin.
After a long while, she said quietly, “Tell me why you wanted to help me.”
I closed my eyes and remembered the moment I knew I couldn’t just forget her. “Have you ever just known something deep inside—like a truth you can’t deny? That’s how I felt when I first saw you in Cash’s office. You were beautiful and I knew someone had hurt you, and even though we’d just met, I wanted to find that person and make them pay for what they’d done. I’d only felt that once before.”
“Tell me about her. I want to know everything about you. Who you loved. Why you loved her. How she lost you.”
Taking a deep breath, I told her what I’d never told another soul. “Her name was Holly. She was sixteen and I was seventeen. I lived to make her happy, and she loved me more than I’d ever been loved before in my life. I needed her. I wanted her. I couldn’t live without her.”
“Why did you love her?”
I thought about the moment I realized I loved Holly. That night she lay in my arms just like Abbi did now. “She made me happy like I’d never felt before.”
Abbi looked up at me and smiled. “Back to not saying much?”
I kissed the top of her head and chuckled. “I loved her because for the first time in my life, I felt at home with someone. I’d never felt that before Holly.”
“Never?”
“Never. All I’d known before was hate. My mother hated my father for not leaving his wife and sons. It’s why she named me Kane. My life before Holly consisted of her hate for him and by extension, for me.”
“I can’t believe your mother hated you,” she whispered almost reverently, as if the truth of my life needed to be kept secret.
“She named me Kane after the Bible’s Cain and Abel. She wanted me to kill Cash, the child she believed kept my father from us.”
“Really kill him?”
“I don’t know. I just know from the moment I could understand, she told me the story of my being named after the son who killed his brother.”
“But you didn’t. You and Cash seem close even.”