Cash smiled and looked over at the monitor before looking back at me. “I don’t think that’s the problem, Kane. You can’t take your eyes off her, and if you clench your fists any tighter, your fingers will be coming out the tops of your hands.”
I realized he was right and slowly opened my hands from the tight fists they’d been in since Abbi had begun dancing with Rhett. Stretching my fingers, I felt an ache travel up through both my palms.
“I thought I could handle it, but this is only her second room and I’m fighting myself from marching down there and carrying her back to my apartment. I’m acting like a jackass. She’s no more mine than anyone else’s, even if she is staying with me.”
“Ah, so that’s what borrowing Olivia’s clothes was about.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t do anything to fuck up the club. I think she has a boyfriend or something anyway. Some asshole who beats the hell out of her.”
My hands balled into fists again, and I slowly eased my fingers out of my palms.
“And she’s staying with you? Sounds like that boyfriend is an ex-boyfriend.”
“She doesn’t need me in her life. It’s already fucked up enough.”
Cash patted me on the shoulder and walked toward the stairs. “I think she could do a hell of a lot worse than you, Kane. Don’t sell yourself short.”
“What did you want to talk to me about anyway?” I asked as I watched Abbi and Rhett disappear behind the screen.
“Mason wanting more extras here. He’s becoming more demanding by the day.”
“Well, just let me know if you need anything from my area. We aim to serve here.”
Smiling, he nodded. “That we do. See you later, and don’t forget what I said. You’re part owner of a business that makes millions each year. Remember that.”
“What happened to the idea of not fraternizing with the people who work for us?”
My brother gave me a sly smile. “I’m pretty sure that went out the window when Olivia and I got together, don’t you think? Anyway, you’re not like Stefan used to be. I know we won’t end up at some lawyer’s office because of this.” He stopped for a moment and then said, “She must be someone pretty special for you to take a shining to her, Kane.”
Cash left me standing there at my usual post, but no matter what he said, I couldn’t believe Abbi would be better off with me in her life. Whatever I was now because of Club X, my past hadn’t changed and neither had I.
And she didn’t deserve to have to deal with that.
I RETURNED to Kane’s apartment feeling like I was walking on air. Never before in my life had I experienced anything like how I felt when I danced for the first time. I’d performed as a cheerleader, but that didn’t compare to the exhilaration of standing behind that glass and knowing the men and even some of the women watching me dance were there just to see me. For the first time in my life, I was the center of attention for those few minutes each time. I, Abbi Linde, was the reason they were in those rooms.
Kane had already gotten back before I arrived. Seated in his tiny living room, he looked angry about something. Or maybe that’s how he usually looked and I was just finding that out.
Still excited from my first night of work, I twirled around in my costume and wished he wasn’t so miserable. I’d expected him to say something about what he saw of my performing, but he seemed not to care.
I stopped in front of him and smiled. “Did you see any of my dancing tonight? Did I do okay?”
Looking up at me, he shot me a look that made his crystal blue eyes look so cold. “You did fine from what I saw. I got a little busy for a while there.”
Unable to keep my feet still, I twirled around again. “I bet you think it’s silly that I’m so happy about tonight, but it really did mean a lot to me. The members seemed to like me too. I made a bunch of tips, and that’s with all my clothes on. I wonder what I’d make if I was like Shana and could do the kind of dancing she does.”
He stood from his seat and walked past me without saying a word as I thought about how much Shana made dancing nude. If I could pull in nearly two hundred dollars dancing fully dressed behind a window, she must have been making three or four times as much in the rooms right there with the members.
I watched him head into the bathroom and heard the water run for a shower, and I had to fight the urge to walk in on him like I had the day before. I wanted to see him like that again.
In truth, I wanted him to want me like I wanted him.
So far, the way he thought of me seemed to range from being overprotective to being entirely disinterested. There didn’t seem to be any in-between with Kane. I would have taken the overprotective him over whoever this man tonight was, though. This Kane didn’t even seem to know I was in the same room with him.
Closing my eyes, I relived my first night of dancing, reenacting each move and feeling I experienced as the wall raised and I peeked out to see people waiting to watch me move my body for them. I’d hoped the one person I wanted to watch had seen he’d made the right decision, but it didn’t seem like he’d seen much of my dancing at all.
I couldn’t figure him out. He took me from that strip club to protect me and held me all night long in his arms. Then he took me shopping for all new clothes and even went to my old apartment with me, all the while knowing Aaron might be there. I’d thought after all that and after he’d made me so happy by saying I could dance for him that he’d be even nicer to me, but since the moment he saw me in my costume he’d been cool toward me, as if he didn’t like me as much anymore.
Maybe that was it. Maybe because I was dancing at his club his interest in me had disappeared.
The problem was mine hadn’t. The more time I spent around him, the more I wanted him. As I thought about the man who’d showed me his piercings and then made no move on me at all, a disappointing realization came to me. What if he never had any interest in me and I was just some charity case for him?
Kane came out of the bathroom wrapped in a white towel that hung low on his hips, and I stopped my dancing, unable to keep myself from staring. For the first time, I really looked at his body. Tattoos covered his arms from his wrists to his shoulders, black and grey images of animals, skulls, and crosses that created sleeves on both arms. The intricate design across his chest contrasted with the simple tattoo across his lower abdomen. Stretched from one hipbone to the other, DO NO HARM was written in heavy black letters that appeared so ominous just above what I knew was hidden beneath that terry cloth towel.