“You didn’t ruin it. Things got a little complicated, but that’s life. I’m just sitting here and trying to imagine you with a daughter. It’s kind of crazy to think about.”
“Well, she’s not my daughter, really. I mean, she’ll know who I am and I plan on seeing her grow up, but Maria is her mom.”
“I bet she looks like you.” He shifted and ran my hair through his fingers. “I hope she gets your hair.”
“I have a picture of her. Do you want to see it?” He smiled and nodded and I went to get the album from the drawer in my dresser. I’d been so afraid of him finding it just a few hours ago, and now I was showing it to him. Things changed fast sometimes.
“Oh my God, she’s gorgeous, Aud.” Will stared at the pictures of Emily. She was smiling in nearly every one.
“She’s walking and talking. She calls me A-wee.”
“That is so cute,” he said, flipping the pages and laughing at the one of her at her first birthday, her face smeared with frosting.
He sighed and the happiness fell from his face.
“What is it?” He shook his head and just kept going through the album.
“No, tell me.” I pulled the album away from him so he’d have to look me in the face.
“It’s weird, okay? I just . . . I just wish that I’d been there. That I’d somehow met you in high school and that she’d been our daughter. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but she’s a part of you and I want to be a part of her, too.” His face was red with his confession.
“It’s stupid,” he muttered under his breath.
“No, it’s not stupid. I understand what you mean.”
“I’m not saying I want to have a kid. Like, definitely not right now. I don’t even have a job. I’d definitely have to get a job.” Shit, even thinking about how much money it would require to take care of a child made my head hurt.
“It’s okay, Will, we’re not going to have a baby right now. I’ve made sure of that.” We didn’t use condoms every time we had sex anymore, but I knew she was on the pill now, so I’d never worried that much about pregnancy. I guess I should have, though.
“But if it did happen, I’d be there for you. You know that, right?” He held my face and the intensity in his eyes was palpable.
“I know you would. And I think Eddie would have too. I just freaked out and tried to make the best decisions I could on my own. I couldn’t ask my parents for help and I didn’t know who else to talk to.” But now I had him, and soon I’d probably have Lottie and Zan and the rest.
“Since all this happened, I’ve been talking to Maria a lot. It’s nice to have someone in my family that doesn’t think I’ve ruined my life.”
He laughed, even though it wasn’t funny at all. “Your parents are f**king crazy.”
“Amen,” I said.
“Can I meet her? I mean, not right now. But I’d like to meet her someday. If that’s okay.” He stumbled over his words.
I couldn’t help but smile.
“I’d love for you to meet her. She’d fall in love with you. Like I did.” I had no doubt she’d adore him.
“And I’d fall in love with her. I love every part of you, and she’s a huge part. I love her already.”
I had no idea he’d take it as well as he did. But that was Will. He took everything that I could throw at him, no hesitation. That was how he looked at life, though. It was so different from how I lived.
Once we’d covered all the Emily ground, I realized I still hadn’t finished giving him his presents.
“So, should we try and salvage Sex Partner Appreciation Day?” I said. Will’s eyes fluttered open.
“What? I wasn’t sleeping. What?” I giggled at him and poked him in the chest.
“I asked if we should try and salvage Sex Partner Appreciation Day. I kind of hijacked it with my surprise daughter and everything. I still had some more stuff for you.”
Will sat up.
“You did? There’s more than the batting cages? That was pretty freaking awesome, by the way. You know, before . . .”
“Yeah. I know. Okay, so I’m gonna need you to close your eyes and let me get everything set up.”
Will climbed over me and stretched his neck out.
“How about I go down to the truck and get your balloons while you get ready?”
I nodded.
“That sounds good. But knock before you come back so you don’t ruin the surprise.”
He saluted me.
“Will do, Sex Partner.” I kind of loved it when he called me that.
I rushed around while he was gone and set up the cake shaped like Darth Vader’s helmet, the plates and cups, and the lightsaber with the big bow on it.
I had everything done by the time he knocked on the door.
“Okay, you can come in,” I said, opening the door. I couldn’t even see Will because there were too many balloons in front of his face.
“Where are you?” I batted them aside and finally found him.
“Okay, I’m going to come in slowly and let them go.” He somehow got all the way in the room with the balloons and then let them float to the ceiling. The strings hung down and he pushed them aside to get to me.
“What did you –” He saw the lightsaber first. “Is that what I think it is?” His voice actually broke because he was so excited.
“Yes. It’s got a certificate of authenticity and everything.” I was about to say something else, but I was seized by two very strong arms, picked up and squeezed so hard I didn’t have any breath left in my body.
“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he said in my ear as he tried to hug the life out of me. This present was going to kill me.
“I can’t even believe how much I love you.”
“Will,” I croaked. He might have broken a rib with his enthusiasm.
“Oh, shit.” He set me down, but I only had a second to catch my breath before he crushed his mouth to mine and tried to kiss me senseless.
“I. Love. You.” He said between each kiss before he pressed his forehead to mine and closed his eyes.
“I am the luckiest ass**le in the world,” he whispered.
“Yes, you are.” He laughed. “And you didn’t even see the cake.”
“There’s cake?” His attention finally left me. For cake. But really, who could blame him?