“I cosign everything she just said,” Trish added.
They both stared at me and I wished I was back in my room staring at the ceiling. I should never have made friends. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be in this situation right now.
But here I was and I had to somehow wiggle myself out.
“I was thinking about transferring schools,” I blurted out. It was the first thing that came to mind.
Lottie gasped and Trish just stared at me.
“Why?”
“I don’t know. There isn’t really a pre-law program here. It was just a thought. I’m not considering it seriously.” I tried to brush it off, but they launched into why I shouldn’t go and why I should stay, and it almost made me want to cry.
They cared so much about me and wanted me around. They wouldn’t, if they knew, but they were never going to. I couldn’t handle them turning their backs on me.
I was relieved when we finally got to the apartment complex and I could get out of the car. Trish and Lottie were still chattering about reasons for me not to transfer as we trouped up the stairs to Katie and Stryker’s place.
“Audrey wants to transfer,” Lottie announced as we walked through the door.
“What? Why?” Katie froze with her face inches from Stryker’s. They’d clearly been in the middle of something.
“I’m not transferring,” I said, putting my hands up. “I was just thinking about it. But I’m not going to. I doubt you would let me anyway.”
“Let you what?” Will said, out of breath as if he’d dashed up the stairs. Here we go again.
“I considered, for all of five seconds, transferring schools. But I’m not going to. So everyone can just calm down.” Will’s eyes bulged in shock.
“Transfer?” He said the word as if he didn’t know what it meant.
“But I’m not going to, so this is a non-issue. What are we having?” I tried to turn the topic.
“Enchiladas,” Katie said, unwrapping herself from Stryker and going over to tend something on the stove.
“Need any help?”
“We’ve got it,” Lottie said, grabbing Trish and yanking her over to the stove, leaving Will and me standing near the door. Subtle.
“Need to talk?” Will said. Yes. No. Not with him. I couldn’t talk to him. I couldn’t talk to anyone.
“I’m fine. Really.” I looked away, but his eyes studied me.
“Aud. I know things have been . . . a little weird with us, but I want you to be able to talk to me. I want you to trust me.” I wanted that too.
“I know.” I stopped there, and I was saved from having to explain myself by the arrival of Simon, who distracted Will for the amount of time it took me to go join the girls in the kitchen.
But Will was persistent. I knew I wasn’t off the hook.
I didn’t need twindar to tell that something had happened to Audrey. She was pale and she kept staring off like she was a million miles away. Lottie kept trying to get her attention, but it took a few times of repeating her name before she would respond.
But, being Audrey, she wouldn’t talk to anyone about it. I wanted her to want to talk to me. Only me. I wanted us to share something that she didn’t have with anyone else. I didn’t care if that was selfish.
As people left Stryker and Katie’s for their various evening activities, I hung around, waiting for the best moment to try to talk to Aud again.
My sister wouldn’t leave her alone for a second, probably because she knew exactly what I would try to do. Lottie even followed Aud to the bathroom, which made me roll my eyes at her.
I wasn’t going to pester her. I just wanted to let her know that she could talk to me if she wanted. That was it.
“Look, leave her alone. She doesn’t want to talk to anyone and trying to get her to is only going to make her pull away. So stop it,” Lottie hissed at me, adding an arm smack for good measure.
“But—“ I started to say, and shut up when Lottie gave me one of those looks that reminded me so much of our mother that it was legitimately scary.
“Leave her alone,” Lottie said, poking my chest with her finger to emphasize every word. For a little thing, she was violent.
I glanced across the room at Audrey, who was deep in conversation with Katie.
“I’m just worried about her,” I said.
“We all are, William. But we can’t help her if she doesn’t want us to. Give her time.” I didn’t want to give her time. I wanted to help her fix whatever was broken and then kiss her and have her tell me that she wanted to be with me. That she loved me. I almost laughed at myself. That was a sappy fantasy out of a romantic movie that my sister would watch and cry about.
“Bye, Will,” Audrey said as she put on her coat and went with Lottie so she could drive her back to the dorms. I wanted to offer to take her, but Lottie had beaten me to it. I’d been screwed over by twindar once again.
“Bye, Aud,” I said, wishing I could say more. The door closed behind them and I slumped on Stryker’s couch. I was the lone holdout.
“You know, one of these days you’re just going to have to make a move on her,” Stryker said, sitting down next to me and picking up his banjo and plucking a few strings.
“I’ve tried,” I said, scrubbing my hands across my face. I’d forgotten about my hair again.
“Not hard enough, clearly.”
“What is he supposed to do, attack her?” Katie said, coming over and climbing onto Stryker’s lap, moving the banjo out of the way.
“Worked with you.”
Katie rolled her eyes.
“But Audrey isn’t me.”
No, she wasn’t. She was in a class by herself.
“Will, just . . . listen to her. If she says she doesn’t want to talk, then let her not talk. The best way to be there for her is to just, be there. I know that sounds weird, but sometimes the presence of another person is all you need.” Her hand absentmindedly stroked Stryker’s hair and his hand moved along her hip. They were such a weird couple, but at the same time, they seemed to fit perfectly together. Like Han and Leia.
It didn’t take a genius to know that they wanted to have some alone time, so I got out of there and went back to the dorm. I was alone again tonight, with Simon at one of his club meetings. I couldn’t keep track of them all, but he always left me notes on my desk, or texted me.
What I should do was get to my homework. I had a lot of it, and it would keep me busy and keep my mind off Audrey.