Iz watches her go. “I feel kinda shit that we’ve let them all deal with this alone. She looks so sad.”
“At least they had each other,” I mutter under my breath.
“Kyle,” she half-hisses. “I guess you’re right, but we made the decision to go away to school.”
“You had Si.”
“Oh wow. Excuse me while I recount all the times I cried on his shoulder.” She holds up a finger and pretends to think. “Oh that’s right. A big fat freaking none.”
“Whatever.” I shove some pancake in my mouth. “We’re back now. Maybe you can try to talk some sense into Roxy. We just end up arguing every time I try - it’s like trying to explain algebra to a one year old. Which, incidentally, would probably be f**king easier.”
Iz snorts. “If she’s really as bad as you say she is, then what she needs is a guy to tame her.”
I snort in return.
“No, I’m being serious. Ana - she’s on the cheer team - was like Roxy for our freshman and half of our sophomore year. Swear to God, Ky, she put the “ut” in slut. She got close to one of the junior guys on the football team and now she’s a changed girl. They’ve been together four months and they’re sickeningly cute.”
“I dunno. Maybe it’s just a phase.”
She leans in. “You’re not her parent making excuses for her,” she whispers, pointing her fork at me threateningly. “You and I both know if it was just a short-term solution she would have given it up by now. She isn’t stupid. She just needs to let herself grieve for Cam, because it doesn’t sound like she has.”
“Ask her and she’ll tell you her partying, for a nice word, is her way of grieving.”
Iz shakes her head. “No, it’s her way of coping with his death. She’s coping, but she’s not accepting or grieving. She needs to accept he’s never coming back before she can grieve for him.”
I blink at my sister for a moment. “Well. At least we know your college degree isn’t being wasted, Ms. Psychologist.”
“Go and f**k yourself, Kyle.”
I just grin. I’m actually glad she’s back - as annoying as she is, I love her, and I think we’re gonna need her brains for sorting out Roxy. Even if her major doesn’t help, she has a girl’s brain and that accounts for something.
I’m male. Females are an enigma who mean what they say but say the opposite of what they mean.
Wait.
See what I mean?
“You’re late!” Myra hisses across the near-empty cafe.
“I’m sorry!” Roxy hisses back. “I fell back to sleep.”
“Well that’s fabulous, Roxanne.”
“Hey! Dad knew I had to be here. He didn’t wake me up.”
“Don’t blame your father because you couldn’t get your lazy behind out of bed, my girl.”
“Whatever. I’m here now.”
Iz raises an eyebrow at me, and I nod. Say hello to the new Roxy.
“Don’t bother, Roxanne. I’ve already dealt with the rush by myself, and I can’t say I’m particularly in the mood for you this morning now.” Myra turns and storms into the kitchen.
Iz turns, resting her arm on the back of the chair, and looks at Roxy. “Well, aren’t you a joy to be around?”
“Iz?” Roxy’s head snaps up and the grin that breaks out on her face makes my lips twitch. “You’re back!”
“Of course I am. I mean, who wouldn’t leave Florida in the summer for this poky little town in the middle of nowhere?” My sister rolls her eyes and wraps her arms around Roxy.
“You love it here really.” Roxy sweeps her hair to one side. “Did you just get back this morning?”
“Yep. And that reminds me...” Iz turns to me, a hand on her hip. “Why didn’t you answer your cell last night?”
“I saw your post on Facebook. You know, the one where you told everyone you’d caught an earlier flight and couldn’t, and I quote, “wait to call your brat of a brother to come and pick you up at three a.m.,” and put my phone on silent.” I tilt my coffee cup toward her, smiling smugly.
“Bastard. I really should watch what I write on there.” She shakes her head and looks at Roxy. “What are you doing today?”
She shrugs. “Selena said something about the guys playing football later.” Her blue eyes flick to me, and I nod.
“‘Bout lunchtime.”
“Well we’ll go and we can catch up while they’re all busy,” Iz declares, sitting Roxy down on the chair between us. “Now help me eat this double portion of pancakes your mom always seems to give me.”
Roxy grabs a fork. “She thinks you need fattening up.”
I laugh.
“I’m a cheerleader. I’m supposed to be slim.” She replies and eyes the plate warily. “But these are really good, so who knows, I could be the first fat cheerleader in our team.” Her phone buzzes as she stabs at the pancakes.
Roxy laughs, and it’s one of the most genuine laughs I’ve heard her do since I got back. I smile, looking down at my plate, and when I glance back up she’s watching me. Her lips twitch, and she drops her eyes.
I wish she didn’t drop them.
There was a spark in them I’ve really missed seeing.
~
This feels wrong.
Its one thing to throw a ball around in my yard with Si and Ben, but this is something completely different. This is a whole game. Without Cam.
A team without a quarterback.
And none of us want to take that position. So we don’t. We skirt around it in both mini-teams, and the whole thing is a complete shambles because everyone knows you can’t play football without f**king quarterbacks. But we can’t play it without the main joker and prankster either. I could do it - I could play the jokes we used to but it isn’t right. I can’t do that without him; I don’t want to do it without him. We were always a team. CamandKyle. KyleandCam. It’s just how it was with everything.
I really do feel like I’m missing a part of me.
I put my hands on my knees, bending at the waist, and shake my head. “It’s no good, guys. We can’t play without a quarterback. We all know that.”
“It ain’t right to play him.” Mark shrugs. “All through school we played together, for f**k sake. I can’t step into that position any easier than you guys can.”