“Boy, am I glad you’re back.” Ray chuckles sadly. “No one’s done that since Cam died. I guess we got a bit soft on her.”
“Hey.” I lean over the table and bat his paper. “No one blames you for the way she’s acting, alright? She makes her own choices and controls her actions, not you or Myra. She knows exactly what she’s doing.”
He smiles, but the sadness in his pale blue eyes only deepens. The pain and guilt coming from him is almost palpable, as is the acceptance. Like he’s given up on changing Roxy. Like he’s given everything he has to give, meaning there’s nothing left. Like he’s ready to break under the weight of the past six months.
“Oh I know that, son, but it doesn’t stop me wondering if I should have done more. I should have protected her from the very path she’s heading down. Cam would have hated this.”
Silence hangs between us for a moment with the truth of his words, the only sound the ticking of the clock and Roxy’s footsteps shuffling about upstairs. A door slams, taking the weight from the air.
“That’s what you’ve got me for,” I say softly. “Selena – although she’s tried – has no backbone when it comes to Roxy; she’s too soft for Roxy’s strong and determined ways, and everyone else is just too happy to go along with what she wants. That’s the problem with her senior class, they’re all like little sheep waiting for someone to follow and right now that person is Roxy.”
“Are you done talking about me like I’m not here?” The girl in question appears in the doorway, her hair pulled back from her face in a ponytail. She tucks her hands inside the sleeves of her oversized sweater and folds her arms across her chest.
“Are you done with the stick up your ass or you wanna keep it there a bit longer?” I shoot back.
She narrows her eyes. “I’ll keep it there, thanks. Never know when I might need it as a weapon.” She turns on her heel and yanks open the front door.
I wink at Ray, scrambling up to follow her out. She’s standing next to my car and leaning forward with her arms on the top. Her head is resting on her arms, looking out at the street, but I’m not really looking at that. I’m looking at the way her jeans hug her body, curving around her bum just right.
“I’m just wondering; are you too busy thinking about what my brother would want if he was still alive that you’re overlooking the fact you’re staring at my ass?” Roxy straightens and turns, pinning me with her sparkling eyes. “Isn’t that a fine damn contradiction?”
I walk toward her, smirking. My hand finds the door handle behind her, and I pull the door open, pushing her toward me. She catches herself before she falls right into me. and a spark flares deep in her eyes. She’s close enough to me that I can smell the flowery perfume she wears and see the dot of mascara on her eyelid she didn’t wipe off. She’s close enough that I can almost feel her against me.
Almost.
I bend my head forward an inch, bringing my face close to hers. Her lips part slightly and her eyes stay on mine.
“Perhaps you should wear looser clothing if you don’t want people to stare at your ass,” I whisper before backing off.
“I never said I didn’t want people to stare at my ass.” Her gaze follows me as I walk round the car and open my door. “Maybe I like it when people do.”
I raise an eyebrow at her over the top of the car. “Then what the hell are you complaining about?”
I sit down, leaving her mouth opening and closing as she tries to find a comeback. She doesn’t. She gets into the car silently, refusing to make eye contact with me, and my lips twitch upward. I wait for the click of her seatbelt before pulling away from the house.
She was right. I do contradict myself at every turn. I’m all for protecting her for Cam’s sake when I’m at home or with the guys, but the second I see her, I’m protecting her for me.
I want to believe it’s because she’s like a sister to me, but I’m not that stupid. Maybe she was before, but she isn’t now. It’s been too long and she’s changed too much for me to think of her that way.
“Everyone looks at her and sees a quiet kid that’s always top of the class. They don’t see what we do, and the bottom line is no one in this shitty little town is good enough for her. Hell, no one in this damn country is good enough for my sister, you know that. The only person that even comes close to being good enough is you.”
“That’s ‘cause I’m your best friend.”
“No it isn’t. Well, maybe. Yeah. But even if you weren’t, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out you’re nothing like all these pricks. If she ever has to be with anyone, I hope to shit it’s you, man.”
Cam’s words from last year ring out clearly in my mind. He really did believe it – he held Roxy on a pedestal so high you needed a f**king airplane to reach her. But that’s just how it was; he loved and protected her more than anyone else could ever be capable of. I really am the only person he ever did and ever would trust anywhere near her. And there’s a big part of me that wants to take advantage of that trust.
“Where are you dragging me?” Roxy finally asks.
“Where do you think?” I glance at her.
She shrugs. “If I knew I wouldn’t have asked, would I?”
“You know,” I start. “You might as well drop that shit, Rox.”
“What shit?”
“The attitude. You aren’t fooling me.”
“I’m not trying to fool anyone.” She shifts in her seat, looking at her hands in her lap.
My fingers tap against the steering wheel in time with the song on the radio. “Right.” I draw the word out, letting her know I don’t believe her at all.
“I’m not!” she protests.
I turn down the dirt track I know she’ll recognize and ignore her. Even her protests aren’t fooling me. The fir tree with a section of bark missing comes into view, and I pull up beside it.
“The gorge,” Roxy says softly. “I haven’t been here in ages.”
I undo my belt and shift in my seat so I’m facing her, and she slowly turns her face to mine.
“You aren’t fooling me, Roxy. The snarky comments, the bitching…”
“I’m not--”
“You don’t need to pretend around me and you damn well know it. I know you too well to believe you don’t give a shit about anything other than getting yourself f**ked up every weekend. Speak to everyone else like they’re shit on your shoe, pretend to them you don’t care and you’re okay, but don’t f**king well do it to me.”