“No, it’s not. It’s the f**king truth.” He lifted his head. “How many presidents’ daughters have you seen married to bikers, standing up there on the stage during the primaries, with their ink hanging out for all of America to see?”
All my life, I’d lived according to my father’s plans. I’d missed my own graduation because we had to go out of town campaigning for the senatorial primaries. I’d given up everything for my father’s agenda, but I wouldn’t be giving up my Finn.
I pressed my lips together. “None. Now ask me how much I care about that?”
“You might not care now, but you will eventually.” He gestured toward the moon, his entire body seeming tense and angry. And a little bit…defeated, maybe? “It’s only a matter of time, but I have a plan. I’m going to—”
“Shut. Up.”
He turned to me, his jaw squared off in that way he always did when he was determined to win a fight, but there would be no victory this time. “I know I said some mean things in our time together, but the truth is…you are younger than me. You don’t know how cruel the world is. The first thing your father is going to say when he finds out about us—once he’s done pounding me into the dirt, that is—is that I’m not good enough for you. And he’ll be right. But I’m going to fix it.”
“How many times do we have to go over this?” I asked through my teeth. “There’s nothing to fix. We’re not broken in the first place.”
“I know you love me and you know I love you, too.” He reached out and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tight. “But I can see how this is going to end, Ginger. I’ll stay until you send me away, but it’ll happen at one point if I don’t take the necessary steps to avoid it.”
I blinked away tears. “It sounds to me like you’re just making excuses so you can walk away with a clear conscience.”
He made a tortured sound and shook his head. “Hell no. Never.”
“If you want to walk away…” I said, my voice breaking so badly I couldn’t even finish the sentence. The mere thought of Finn leaving me was enough to break me.
He swiped away tears off my cheeks I hadn’t even realized escaped, hugged me tight against his chest, and buried his face in my neck. “I don’t want to lose you. I just say all this shit and ruin perfect nights because of my stupid fears, but I’m not scared anymore. I know what to do to make us work.”
I curled my hands into his shirt. “We already work.”
“Now, yeah. But once you graduate, it’ll be different. We’ll have to be different.”
I wanted to fight him on this, but I knew no matter what I said, he wouldn’t believe me. He was convinced I was my father’s puppet who would break up with him if Daddy told me to. I’d have to prove him wrong. “What are you planning to do?”
“I’m going to change.”
I narrowed my eyes, trying to make sense of his words. “I don’t want you to change. Even if he doesn’t like you, I won’t care.”
He rubbed my head almost absentmindedly. “It’s the one conflict in our life I can see coming—and avoid. He’s going to fire me. Hell, he could even sue me. It was in the contract that I couldn’t touch you.”
“He put that in there?” I asked, gripping my dress tight.
“Yeah.”
I shook my head. My father was freaking ridiculous. “If he does, then we’ll handle it together. Right?” I bit down on my lower lip. “Maybe you could do something else.”
He pushed me away and squeezed my arms with a smile on his face. “Exactly. Like I said. Change.”
I hesitated, my heart picking up speed. This kind of change I could probably work with. “What are you going to do?”
“I can maybe change my MOS.”
I blinked. “What’s an MOS?”
“It stands for Military Occupational Specialty, but it’s basically my position. My career in the Marines.”
I nodded. “What would you change it to?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe I could go into active duty with the Marines. I bet that will look good on Election Day. Having a Marine up on the stage with him in Dress Blues. He can’t complain about that, can he?” he asked me, his eyes on mine.
“No. Of course not.” And just like that, down came my bubble. “But what about going back to school? Becoming a chef or a surf instructor? I don’t know. Something.” I shrugged. “Growing up, was there something you wanted to be?”
He blinked at me, a weird look on his face. “Um, I wanted to work on computers as a kid. You know, build them.”
I perked up at that. Computers were safe. “Well, you could go to school for that.”
“I could.” He straightened up, blinking rapidly. “I don’t even have to re-up when my time is up, if I don’t want to. Or, I can become a commissioned officer and get a job in that field through the Marines.” He snapped his fingers. “Ooh, yeah. That’ll look really good on your father’s campaign. An officer at his side.”
“I don’t care about his f**king campaign!” I shouted, my hands curled into tight balls. God, Dad had gotten to Finn, too. Without even trying. His reach was that freaking far. “I care about you. About us.”
“But this is for us.” He stood up and paced, his steps hurried and uneven. He stepped on his jacket and didn’t even care. “We won’t have to worry about what happens after he kills me—as long as he doesn’t actually kill me, that is.” He swung me into his arms and hugged me tight. “This obstacle between us? It’s gone. I can be that guy.”
The obstacle that didn’t exist? Yeah. It was gone.
“I don’t think you need to be any guy but you. I love you the way you are—tattoos and all.”
He grinned down at me. “And I love you for that.”
He kissed me hard, right in front of my dorm in the moonlight. I clung to him, gripping his dress shirt in my fists and pulling him closer. By the time he pulled back, I forgot all about what we were saying.
All I knew was Finn was smiling at me, and he looked happy.
I wasn’t about to ruin it.
Chapter Nine
Wednesday night I waited on my bike outside Carrie’s dorm. She had to study late with some friends from chemistry, so I told her I’d pick her up at eight. After our fight last night, I wasn’t sure what to expect from her when she came outside. Would she still be mad at me, or had she really forgiven me for being an ass?