“Oh, don’t look at me like that. I never even got close to him. My dad’s guards found me and took care of it,” I said, lifting my hands and doing air quotes. “But for those thirty minutes when no one knew where I was? Dad texted me every single second, I kid you not. I’d ignored him because I knew he was being his normal spaztastic self, and I told him as much. But after that, he promised to only text me twenty million times if it was an emergency.”
Finn pressed his lips together. “So you’re telling me this to make sure I don’t panic like him, or what?”
“Pretty much.” I reached out and caught his hand, squeezing it tight. “It’ll be okay. You’ll see.”
“I know.” He lifted my hand and kissed my fingers, making my stomach clench. “With you at my side, how could it not be?”
My heart melted at that sentence. Combined with the way he looked at me—his eyes soft and his lips even softer—I wasn’t sure I had the muscle power to surf right now.
“You catch the first wave,” I said, my voice practically a whisper. I cleared my throat and tipped my head toward the approaching wave. “It looks pretty big.”
He nodded once. “And you’ll wait till I come back to catch another one.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I waved a hand at him impatiently. “I remember the rules, master of the sea.”
He looked over his shoulder, more than likely calculating the time it would take for his ride to arrive. He had a few seconds at most. He shot me a look and started paddling forward, his back muscles bunching and rolling flawlessly. “You can give me all the attitude you want, but I almost lost you once—I won’t do it again.”
“I know,” I called out, splashing water at him. The drops barely reached him. “Now go before you’re too late.”
He grinned and flawlessly caught the wave, riding it to shore like the pro he was. He sliced in and out, doing moves I didn’t even know the names of, never once tipping off balance. He was mesmerizing and beautiful to watch out here.
Well, anywhere. But especially on the water.
I watched him with awe, quite certain I’d never get to that level of skill, but I was okay with that. I just liked coming out here, hanging out in the water and enjoying the time with Finn. For the most part, we were left alone. There were a few surfers out this morning, but it was much emptier than on a weekend.
A blond man prepared to catch the next wave a few hundred feet over, and past him a woman with black hair bobbed in the water. It was a perfect, peaceful morning.
But I felt anything but peaceful.
Finn swam back to my side and I forced a bright smile. If it was the last thing I did, I would hide my anxiety from him. He didn’t need my baggage sinking him down to the bottom of the Pacific. “That was a good one.”
He climbed back on his black board and shook his hair like a wet dog, spraying me. “It was. Next one’s yours, though.”
“As long as it’s little enough to pass your test,” I added, unable to resist teasing him. Truth be told, I liked how protective he was. He loved me and he didn’t want to lose me. I totally got that. “Right?”
“Right.” He looked over his shoulder and trailed his fingers through the water absentmindedly. “Here comes a good one.”
I paddled forward, watching the wave swell closer. “See ya on the flip side.”
“Remember, if you go under, wait it out,” he called, his voice tight.
I nodded as I paddled faster, ignoring the fear surging through me as the wave grew and grew. Apparently, that near drowning affected me more than I thought. I refused to let it conquer my enjoyment of the sport. Heck, people got limbs chewed off by sharks and went back out there. What was an almost drowning in comparison?
I struggled to my feet, wobbling a bit at first, but as I straightened my legs and stood, I gained my footing—and my confidence. As I rode the wave, holding my arms out for balance, I laughed from the sheer joy of the rush. I didn’t attempt any fancy moves or anything—it took all my concentration just to stay upright.
But my head pounded and my heart raced, making me lightheaded. God, I’d become such an adrenaline junky since meeting Finn. I wanted to do all the things, and I wanted to do them now—with him at my side. Once my ride was over, I stood up and squeezed the excess moisture out of my hair.
I made my way back to Finn, a smile on my face the whole time. I’d missed this. Missed surfing, even though it had only been a week or two since we last came out. Maybe this weekend when Finn was gone, I would—
I stopped walking, a tingling sensation creeping up my spine. I had the weirdest feeling that someone was watching me, but when I looked over my shoulder, the beach was empty. The only people out and about were surfers, and none of them were paying any attention to me. I shook off the creepy sensation, forcing myself to keep walking.
It was all the uncertainty messing with my head, I’d bet. All the what ifs and Finn’s own suspicions about my father’s silence were screwing with me. Maybe reliving the time I’d been kidnapped contributed to my imagining someone watching me. That hadn’t exactly been a walk in the park or a happy memory to retell.
All of this stressful crap was obviously combining in one tight ball in my head, making me think the shadows were chasing me. Making me think I was being watched, when the only one watching me was my bodyguard slash boyfriend.
I had enough to stress about. I needed to stop imagining new things. The whole way back to Finn, I thought about what life would be like after this year was up.
I was terrified about what Dad would do when he found out Finn and I had fallen in love. He could totally flip out, or he could—unlikely, as it might be—accept it for what it was. Maybe he would be angry, but he’d get over it with time. Or maybe we would never be welcome in his house again.
He could be quite stubborn when he wanted to be. It’s admittedly where I’d gotten my stubborn streak from. And I wouldn’t put it past him to make it a point to show me how many different ways I’d disappointed him through lectures and maybe even a little bit of a disowning shame. But he wouldn’t actually cut the ties with me all because I dared to fall in love.
At least I hoped he wouldn’t.
It was a risk I was willing to take for Finn.
Chapter Seven
Later that night, I waited in the living room as Carrie finished getting ready in my bathroom for our date. Even though we were only going out to dinner, I was nervous for some stupid ass reason I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It was our first real date, yeah, but I didn’t think that’s what was bothering me. I just felt…