I don’t know. Different somehow.
As if I was pretending to be something I wasn’t. Again.
I tugged on my collar. Jesus, I swore the thing was single-handedly attempting to choke the life out of me. I was also starting to think it might win. My palms were sweaty, and I was so hot I didn’t think I was going to make it through the night in this damned contraption. Maybe I’d had more Cali Surfer Boy left over in my blood than I’d thought.
Or maybe I was going soft.
I flopped down on the couch, setting my legs on the coffee table. This dress-up date was probably a bad idea. I wasn’t a fancy guy, even if she was a fancy girl.
I was just me.
Why did I feel like I needed to be this guy for her all of a sudden? Maybe it was because I was more than likely leaving, and I was having a panic attack of sorts, trying to be everything she could ever possibly want me to be. Or maybe part of me just now realized that no matter what she said or thought, she came from a world where tuxes and champagne were more common than beer and movie nights…and if we were going to be together, I had to be in that world, too.
If I had any chance in hell in getting her father to accept me, I had to change. I had to be respectful and honorable and dress like this.
Go on dates like this. Be like this. And I f**king hated it.
Thinking about all the ways Carrie and I could go wrong made me realize her father still hadn’t texted me even once. My heart clenched and I picked up my phone, scanning through our messages. The last text he’d sent on his own had been the morning Carrie had woken up late for school.
I tightened my jaw and typed: Carrie is home and taking it easy tonight.
A whole minute passed with no reply. What. The. Fuck?
If he wasn’t answering my texts, I didn’t know what the hell to think. First the odd call from my commanding officer, and now I was being ignored by a man who had previously needed me to hold his hand all this time. These were not good things. I knew it—even if I had no clue what the hell was going on in my life lately.
The bathroom door opened, and I stood up, tugging on my suit jacket as I turned to face her. I was about to ask her if she’d heard from her father, but then I turned around, and she stole the words right off the tip of my tongue. She took my breath away with her beauty, and it would never cease to amaze me how much of an effect she had on me.
I’d told her to wear a dress because we were going out somewhere nice, and she’d pulled out all the stops. She wore a dark purple dress that I suspected might melt if I touched it, it looked that soft. It clung to her body perfectly, highlighting everything that made her…well, her.
She topped it off with her long, red hair cascading down her back, just enough makeup to bring out her gorgeous blue eyes I loved so much, and a pair of black heels that would be over my shoulders by the end of the night if I had anything to say about it.
I didn’t know whether to drool, throw her on the bed and hide her from the world, or take her out for all to see. The old me would’ve hidden her. Kept her to myself selfishly. But the new me? The me I was trying to be for her?
Not so much.
“You look beautiful,” I managed to say through my tight throat and the even tighter tie. “Really f**king beautiful.”
She dipped her gaze over me, her eyes lighting up in that way that told me she liked what she saw. “Dude. You look hot all dressed up. Like, really hot. I never thought I’d prefer you in something besides a pair of board shorts and a bare chest, but hel-lo.”
I grinned, but my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. I’d been right. This is what she wanted from me, even if she didn’t know it yet. “If you like it, then you’ll get it anytime you want.”
“I’ll take both versions of you, please,” she said, grinning. She ran her hands over my shoulders, smoothing my jacket. “I never thought I’d see you in one of these. It’s blowing my mind.”
I forced a smile. “I wear them for work all the time, Ginger.”
“I know.” Her hands fell back to her sides and her smile faded. “Is something wrong? You seem…upset or something. Different.”
That’s because I feel different right now. I shook my head and continued smiling, wanting nothing more than a shot of some hard liquor right now. “No. Nothing’s wrong. You ready to go?”
“Sure.” She started to grab her helmet, but I tugged her away. “Fancy people don’t ride motorcycles. They take limos.”
Her eyes went wide. “Limos? Seriously?”
I tried to read the expression in her eyes, but I couldn’t tell if she was pleased by my surprise. I knew she was trying to get away from the life of glamour and glitz, but I needed to prove to her, and maybe myself, that I could do this. That I could thrive in her world, even if I wasn’t so sure I could.
I opened the door for her. “That’s what you ride back home, right?”
“If we’re going to some sort of event?” She walked past me, her grip on her purse firm. “Sure. All the time.”
I closed the door behind us and locked it. “We’re going to an event. A date. Kind of our first date, I guess.”
“You didn’t have to…” She trailed off and stopped walking halfway down the stairs. “Oh my God. Is that…?”
When she didn’t finish, I cleared my throat. “The same type of car you use back home? Yes.”
“Wow,” she said, her voice strung tight.
She wasn’t happy with my surprise. It only seemed to solidify my belief that I didn’t belong in her world. I tugged on my hair and eyed her. “We can cancel this whole thing if you want. Take the bike and go to Islands or something.”
She pressed her lips together. “It’s fine. I’m fine. Come on.”
Deep in the back of my mind, I wondered if she was trying to picture me sitting in a fancy restaurant and not meshing the Finn she knew with the Finn I needed to be. Maybe that’s why she looked as if I was torturing her instead of taking her out.
I urged her along, using my hand pressed against her lower back to propel her along. The sooner we got this date over with and I made her happy, the better. Then we could come back home, shed our clothes, and maybe share a cold drink over some good old-fashioned American television. Maybe some football, if I could find a game.
Man. I couldn’t wait for that.
The driver opened the back for us, and I helped her inside. After following her, I settled into my seat and reached for the stocked bar. I poured myself a hefty dose of whiskey. Thank God they had the good stuff in here.