His eyebrows slid up. “You don’t want it?”
“It’s not that I don’t want it. It’s that...we live in the same small town. If we’re seen in public, people might make a big deal out of it. They might think we’re...you know...dating when we’re not. So...it’d be better to...”
“What?” He scowled. “Not see each other?”
He seemed to be getting upset, so she took the paper. She didn’t have to call him. He’d probably forget he’d even given her his number. “Never mind. I, um, I have a busy day, but I’ll see how things go.”
He caught her at the door and turned her around. “You’re not upset...”
“Of course not.”
“Good. Because last night was one of the best nights I’ve ever had. Once we got here,” he clarified.
She had a hard time believing last night had been very special for him, but it was a nice thing to say. “Given my lack of experience, that’s shocking.”
“It shouldn’t be, because it wasn’t about performing like a p**n star.”
And this wasn’t ending with the brush-off she’d been expecting. “I’d better go.”
He bent his head as if he’d kiss her goodbye, but she pretended like she didn’t realize that was his intention and slipped out. “Thanks again.”
* * *
After walking a couple of miles down the narrow mountain road leading away from the cabin, Baxter had called Eve on his cell phone and had her pick him up. She’d been worried when she saw him, of course, had wanted to know what was wrong, but he’d managed to minimize the situation. Telling her that he and Noah had had an argument because they’d both been drinking and had hit on the same girl was easier than revealing what he’d been hiding since the fifth grade. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Eve. It was just that the fewer people who knew, the better. If his parents ever found out, they’d never speak to him again.
They had a greater chance of finding out today than they did yesterday. He was aware of that. Since he’d lost control and acted so recklessly, he didn’t know what to expect. The image of Noah standing there, too shocked to react, too shocked to even push him away, made Baxter want to weep. Noah probably hated him. The crazy thing was that he couldn’t understand why, after keeping himself in check for so long, he’d done what he’d done. The part of him that was dying to come out had simply tried to bury, once and for all, the front he’d been showing the world. And now he had to deal with the fear of losing his friends and his family.
He’d been so upset he hadn’t even gone to bed.
If only Noah hadn’t acted as if it was so much fun to have those girls around.
If only Baxter hadn’t had to watch Lisa climb into Noah’s lap and kiss him so sexually when Baxter knew damn well that Noah felt nothing for her.
If only they hadn’t been drinking.
Over the past few years, he’d been so careful to avoid alcohol when he was in Noah’s presence.
“Shit.” He couldn’t take stewing alone any longer, so he grabbed his cell phone off the side table and called the hotel where Callie and Levi were staying in Hawaii. He hated to bother them on their honeymoon, but he had to talk to someone, and because Callie was the only friend he’d ever confided in, she was his best option. The g*y men he socialized with in San Francisco didn’t understand his situation and certainly didn’t agree with his choices.
“Hey,” he said when he heard her sleepy hello. “Did I wake you?”
“Who is this?”
“You’ve forgotten me already?”
“Bax!” There was a pause, and then she chuckled. “I’m out of it. It’s four-thirty here. What’s going on?”
He hadn’t even checked the time. “I’m sorry to wake you. I held off as long as I could, but...”
“Is something wrong?” She sounded worried.
“No. Never mind.” He shouldn’t have disturbed her. She was doing better now, but she’d nearly died over the summer. He needed to let her get all the rest she could. There was still a possibility that her body could reject the new liver. That was partly why she and Levi had had to wait a couple of weeks after the wedding to leave. They’d needed a doctor’s clearance to go so far from home. “I’ll call you later.”
“No, wait! Don’t go!”
He didn’t hang up but the lump in his throat made it almost impossible to speak.
“Are you there?” she asked.
He swallowed hard. “Yeah.”
“You’re scaring me.”
“I told him,” he said.
“You told...” After a brief pause, she seemed more awake. “What are you saying? You told who what?”
“I told Noah the truth.”
Her voice took on a tentative tone. “About...”
He laughed but it was a bitter sound even to his own ears. “Actually, I didn’t tell him. I showed him.”
“Baxter, what are you talking about?”
“I kissed him, Callie. I—” unable to believe it, he shoved a hand through his hair “—kissed Noah.”
This revelation met with stunned silence. Then she said, “Bax, are you drunk?”
“Not anymore.”
“You were? Oh, God.”
“Yeah. Shit. What am I going to do now?”
“That depends. Hang on.” There was some rustling. He guessed she was getting out of bed and going into the bathroom so she could talk without disturbing her husband. “How did he react?”
“It was...sort of anticlimactic.”
“You didn’t enjoy it as much as you thought you would?”
“He didn’t exactly pull me into his arms.”
“You knew he wouldn’t.”
“True, but get this, he didn’t shove me away, either.”
“What does that leave?”
“He stood there, Callie. He just stood there, which makes me feel like even more of an idiot.”
“He must have said something eventually.”
The way her words echoed told him she was indeed in the bathroom.
“I didn’t wait to hear it. I took off.”
“Where were you when you...when this happened?”
“Gail’s cabin.”
“And now?”
“Home.”
“Have you heard from him since?”