Baxter’s jaw tightened. “Because that’s what you wanted. And I was still fighting the truth. Don’t you get it? I wanted to be like you. I tried to be like you. I just...wasn’t!”
Noah didn’t know whether to be mad at himself for ignoring all the signs, or mad at Baxter for taking advantage of his determined loyalty. “And you didn’t feel you could level with me?”
“You think I should’ve blown up our friendship years ago?”
Noah wanted to deny that Baxter’s sexual orientation would affect the friendship, but there was little doubt that this would change the whole dynamic. For starters, what they talked about would change. So would how they talked about it. “Is this a friendship, Bax? Or is it something else? In your view, anyway. I mean...what you did at the cabin...” He couldn’t finish, couldn’t get any closer to The Kiss than that. Thank goodness for Addy. It was being with her afterward that’d given him a chance to put it in perspective. He couldn’t help that he was attracted to her. Maybe Baxter couldn’t help his attractions, either.
They stared at each other for several seconds. Then Baxter said, “Are we really going to talk about that?”
“You’re saying we shouldn’t?”
“I’m shocked that you’re willing.”
“I’m here because I’m trying to understand!”
“So you’re going to look under the bed even though you know what you’re going to find will scare you? Don’t bother. It won’t change anything. I’ve got to go.” He began to shut the door but Noah blocked it.
“What do you mean you have to go?”
“I mean I can’t see you anymore. I have a lot of changes to make. They’ll be painful enough without...without trying to fake a friendship with you.”
Noah felt as if he’d just been slugged. “Why would it be fake?”
“Because it can’t be anything else!” he said, and closed the door.
Shocked, Noah stood there for probably fifteen minutes. He expected Baxter to realize that he’d just cut off his best friend. He thought Baxter would eventually calm down and come back and they’d be able to work out...something. But he didn’t, and when Noah knocked again he just yelled, “Go away!”
* * *
Black Gold Coffee was crowded. When the weather was good, Sundays saw an influx of tourists. Like other gold-country towns—Grass Valley, Placerville, Cool, Coloma, Plymouth, Angels Camp—it was a popular stop along Highway 49.
All these towns were a throwback to the 1800s and had a surfeit of old-fashioned, quaint charm, but none more so than Whiskey Creek. Some of the locals complained about the occasional crowds and the lack of street parking, but the gift shops and other businesses thrived on their patronage, including Just Like Mom’s. Today Addy liked having so many unfamiliar faces around. Being in the presence of strangers made her feel less conspicuous as she sat in the corner, booting up her laptop.
“Mocha frappuccino!” the barista called out.
She glanced around before going to collect her drink. She was hoping she wouldn’t see Kevin or anyone else this time, and that included Noah. It wasn’t easy, but she hadn’t let herself dwell on being with him last night. There were moments she caught her mind drifting back to what it had felt like to touch him, to kiss him, and she had to reel her thoughts back in. She supposed that was only natural. But she couldn’t see him again. She’d spent half her high school years craving him; that was enough. Noah had commitment issues. That meant she couldn’t have a relationship with him, even if they didn’t have Cody’s death standing between them. Whenever she began to feel wistful, to remember how satisfied and complete she’d felt in his arms, she reminded herself that there was no use crying about something she couldn’t change. Her life was what it was. She had to accept that and do what she could for Gran.
She connected to the free internet while sipping her frappuccino. She didn’t want to stay out in public for long. She just wanted to take a peek at www.SkintightEntertainment.com. For her own peace of mind, she hoped to figure out who’d broken into her bedroom. It could be useless information, or it could help her defend herself later, if she was ever forced into that position again. At least she’d know which of her four attackers had the nerve to threaten her with a knife.
But the website that came up made her regret checking it. It was a p**n site—with bondage and rape as a major theme.
The thud of her heart seemed to reverberate in her chest. Had her attacker worn that sweatshirt on purpose? As a way to intimidate her further? Or...
She remembered Noelle standing at her grandmother’s booth during the Homecoming game, inviting her to model for a calendar.
Noelle had given her a URL where she could see what Derek had created so far. She’d put that card in her purse.
She took a few seconds to dig it out so she could visit that site, too.
Sure enough, Derek had some pictures posted. The site said the calendar wasn’t finished, that it wouldn’t go on sale until December 1, but there was a preorder campaign in place, and Noelle’s picture was used as the enticement.
Olivia’s sister wasn’t naked. She was wearing a string bikini, but she was posed on a beach with her knees falling open, her hands on her br**sts and her head thrown back as if she was inviting the viewer closer. A lot closer.
Could Derek Rodriguez be involved with that calendar and the p**n site?
Absently fingering her cheekbone, where the worst bruise from her ordeal had yet to fade, she surfed through all the links. There was a contact number for Derek, but no address. Tom had told her he worked from home doing websites but wasn’t very successful.
He certainly seemed more likely to be connected to www.SkintightEntertainment.com than Kevin or Tom. But what about Stephen? According to Tom, Stephen was probably behind what had been done to her. She already knew he had a rape fantasy. Without the spark he’d provided at that graduation party, she doubted Cody would ever have violated her in that way. He certainly hadn’t needed to use her for sex. He’d been sleeping with girls since the eighth grade. Rumors went around the high school all the time that Shania was pregnant, or that she’d had an abortion.
Addy knew it was her innocence they’d been after, and Stephen had taken more pride in destroying that than all the rest of them put together. She’d actually been surprised that it was Cody who’d come back for more....