“He makes me soo happy, Luke. It’s like he gets the inner me and wants to know the inner me. It’s like he was made for me.”
“I see.”
“He is, literally, my Prince Charming. He saved me once and I feel like he is going to save me again.”
“Save you from what?”
“My mom.” I rolled my eyes. “I can’t take it anymore, Luke. I don’t want to break her heart or leave her penniless, but I can’t sacrifice my life to stay here with her.”
“You’re not sacrificing your life, Lexi.” He looked at me with a concerned look. “She’s your mom.”
“You don’t understand,” I sighed.
“Not like Bryce does, huh?” He sighed as well.
“He knows things that you don’t.” I looked down, embarrassed.
“I see.” I could tell he was hurt. “Well I guess that puts me in my place.”
“I didn’t tell him, Luke.” I felt my heart break at his face. “I didn’t want to tell you because I was embarrassed.”
“You never have to be embarrassed about anything with me.”
“My mom had an affair with Bryce’s dad.”
“The Mayor?” Luke looked at me in shock. “What?”
“Yeah. When we were in high school and then after we graduated, for a bit.”
“No way.” He blinked as if trying to get his head around it. “And Bryce knows?”
“Yeah.” I shrugged. “He already knew.”
“I wonder when he found out.”
“No idea.”
“I’m surprised he doesn’t hate you.”
“Why would he hate me?” I frowned. “I didn’t do anything.”
“People aren’t always reasonable in their hate.” He looked out of the window and stared at his bedroom. “It’s funny. All these years and we’ve been friends and shared everything, and yet I found out you’ve kept two huge secrets from me.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
He turned around and looked at me. “I understand how some things are private and dear to your heart, but I’ve always thought that we were so close that we shared everything. I always thought we had one of those friendships that transcended everything.”
“But we do, Luke.” I ached at his words.
“No,” he said slowly. “I don’t think we do.”
“I’ve told you everything now, Luke. Please don’t be mad,” I pleaded.
He stared into my eyes and frowned. “You know what, Lexi, I don’t think you have.”
“What?” I looked at him, astounded. “What do you mean?”
“I think there’s something else.” He blinked and looked away.
“What do you mean?” I stared at him with my heart pounding.
“Is there anything else you want to tell me, Lexi?”
“No.” My voice was small, but firm. I couldn’t tell him about the one thing that still haunted me. I just couldn’t. It was too painful.
“Okay.” He smiled, tightly. “So do you still want to get pancakes or should I go look for apartments now?”
“Apartments?” I frowned. “You’re moving out?”
“Well, I think I have to move if I want to study at MIT.” He smiled.
“So you decided?”
“Yeah. I’m thinking it’s time for me to move forward.”
“Oh.” The single syllable that fell from my mouth was not enough to convey the deep pain I felt at his words. “I guess you should go look at apartments then. I’m not too hungry right now.”
“Okay. I’ll see you later.” Luke walked out of my room without giving me a hug and I felt the tears streaming down my face. I ran into the bathroom and turned on the shower. As I stood there, my tears mingling with the gushing water of the shower, I felt heartbroken, alone and desolate. I felt like I had never felt as bleak as I did in this moment. I knew that something in my life had irrevocably changed. I wasn’t sure where Luke and I were going to go from here, but the days of being best friends and having Dawson Creek nights seemed to be long gone.
Chapter 14
“I’m sorry you had to take me home,” she giggled. “I don’t have a car.”
“It’s no problem.” I tried to keep my voice cordial. I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get out of this one.
“I should really get one, but my dad is scared of me driving. He thinks that I’m absent minded.” She laughed, nervously.
“Well, sounds like he is being over protective. I can understand that.”
“Yeah. Lexi says if he could keep me home all day he would.”
I flinched as she mentioned Lexi’s name and she must have noticed, because she turned red after she spoke. “Oh, I didn’t mean to mention her.” She nibbled on her fingernails. “I told myself I was not going to mention her.”
“Hey, it’s okay.” I looked over at Anna and tried to smile. “Don’t stress.”
“Thanks, Bryce.” She rested her hand on my leg and it was all I could do to not push it off of me. “I know she was excited about the party and I’m sure you must have been surprised to hear that she wrote you those letters. I just feel a bit bad.”
“The letters?” I frowned and turned to look at her quickly. “What letters?”
“Oh shit,” she groaned. “I’ve done it again, haven’t I?” She turned away from me and moaned. “I think I’ve lost my mind. After last night and all.” She giggled and I sighed. The less she said about the previous night, the better it was for me.
“What letters, Anna?” I pulled over to the side of the road and turned off the engine.
“Lexi wrote you those letters when you were in Iraq, or Afghanistan, or wherever.”
“Lexi wrote the letters?” I frowned, confused. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m sure,” she said, angrily. “She’s had a crush on you since high school. She felt like you might need some support after Eddie killed himself. And she was able to be herself in her letters.”
“Oh my gosh.” My heart started pounding.
“I feel bad, you know.” Anna continued. “She’s been enamored with you for so long, but you chose me.”
I stared at her in silence, unsure of what to say. How could I have been so stupid?