“I wanted to, but Betty likes to talk. You know women, I didn’t want to ruin anything.”
“Oh, Sidney,” I sat on my bed, and closed my eyes. “Thank you.”
“I’m glad you’re safe. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” I felt emotional. Sidney Johnson had become like a father to me. He was the only person who knew most of my secrets. There was no one who knew all of them but he was the closest.
“I’ve still got your papers.” He spoke in a low voice. “Are you going to tell Zane?”
“He doesn’t need to know.” I lowered my voice as well.
“He went to France.”
“I heard.”
“She turned him away.”
“She shouldn’t have done that.” I was angry. “I’ll have to call her.”
“You sure you want to do that?”
“No, not really.” I lay back and rubbed my temples. I was starting to get a headache. “But I need to know what she said to him.”
“You should tell him.”
“No.” I shook my head vehemently. “He’s in a good place now. I don’t want to disturb that.”
“Noah, I know you think you’re protecting him, but he has a right to know. And honestly, I don’t think he’s going to just let it go. He has a right to know the truth about his past.”
“I’ll tell him something.” I cleared my throat. “Anyways, how have you been? I heard Lucky has been working on the documentary with you.”
“I’ve been good. Better since Lucky and Zane been coming over; made me not worry about you so much. Lucky’s a good girl.” Sidney sighed. “I like her a lot, she’s good for your brother. She really loves him.”
“I know. I’m glad he met her.”
“What about you? You got anyone?”
“No.” Not anymore.
“What about where you were hidden out?”
“I dated. Nothing too serious.” Liar.
“You’re still young. Plenty of fish in the sea.”
“Yeah. I’m not too worried.”
“What about the girl you mentioned to me? When you first got there?” Sidney talked slowly. “The one I told you to be careful with.”
“You were right to warn me to be careful.” I sighed deeply. “Things got complicated. Her life was complicated.”
“Were you one of the complications?”
“I became one of them.” I stared at the wall as I spoke. “My presence ended up hurting someone.”
“Nothing bad, I hope.”
“I hope not.” I lowered my voice. “I was going to ask you later, but I need you to speak to your son for me. The family attorney. I have some questions.”
“You in trouble?”
“No.” I shook my head as I bit my lip. “Not yet.”
“You’re scaring me. Why do you sound like you’re about to leave us again, Noah? You should be happy, you just got back.”
“I’m back, but everything isn’t the same as it was before, Sidney. My life didn’t stop when I went away. Life continued for you and for me. New complications arose. I guess there are troubles to be left and to be found.”
“Where did you go?”
“I can’t say.”
“You mean you won’t say.”
“Yeah.” There was no need to lie to Sidney; he knew the deal. “I’ll talk about it later. I don’t want to think about it now.”
“Lucky got some good ideas for the documentary. She’s a history buff like you. She knows a lot about civil rights.” Sidney changed the subject and I smiled to myself. He always knew how to read me.
“I’m excited to hear them.”
“Yes. It will be good to get your life back on track.” Sidney paused again. “I’m glad you’re back, you know.”
“I know.” I couldn’t stop myself from smiling into the phone, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “I’m glad to be back as well.” I hung up and looked up slowly to see Lucky staring at me from the doorway with a half-smile.
“Hey, I just wanted to let you know that breakfast was ready.”
“Thanks.” I nodded and remained seated and she walked into the room uncertainly.
“Do you have someone that you left behind?” She chewed on her bottom lip and stared into my eyes earnestly. “Asides from Zane, I mean. Did you leave a girlfriend behind? We just assumed that Angelique was the girl you were seeing, because you know, you were devastated by her dumping you.” She made a face. “Thank God that wasn’t true. But was there someone else?” She took a deep breath, as she stopped rambling and she looked into my eyes searchingly but slightly hesitantly. I could tell that she felt like she was prying a little bit and wasn’t sure if she was stepping over the line.
“I wasn’t seeing anyone seriously when I left.” I shrugged. “But you’re right, Angelique wasn’t the love of my life by any means.”
“I wonder why she believed that you were so in love with her that you would take your life.” Lucky frowned. “I mean, if she hadn’t believed that one point, everything could have been ruined.”
“Angelique would believe she was an angel from heaven if you told her that.” I laughed. “She wasn’t low in self-confidence.”
“I guess that’s true.” Lucky sat down next to me. “Are you okay, Noah? I know that Zane has been a little distant, and we haven’t really asked you how you’re doing. We’ve been so happy to see you alive that we haven’t really thought about anything else. But I assume you’ve had a life the last year or so, away from here. It must have been hard to start over and then have to leave.”
“It wasn’t hard.” I jumped up as my stomach growled. “Zane has always been the first person in my thoughts, and it was never my intention for him to think I was dead and gone this long. I couldn’t stay there when I knew that Zane was out here with a hole in his heart.”
“You’re the first person in his life, too.” Lucky walked with me to the door. “I don’t know that I’ve ever seen the light in his eye that returned when you came back from the dead.”
“Not anymore.” I spoke matter-of-factly, and I saw Lucky’s face drop. I grabbed ahold of her hands and stopped her at the top of the stairs. “My brother loves you, and I’m not sad that you are his main concern now. That’s how it should be. That’s how true love should be. I’m still his brother and he will always love me, but you’re the one he lives for.” The words were passionate on my lips, and I laughed as I realized that Zane had figured it all out before me. Oh, the irony of the situation was fantastic. It hurt just like a knife had been stabbed into my heart and twisted, and I stood still for a moment as I absorbed the unspoken grief and loss that sat in me.