I flattened my covers to the bed beside me, wishing I could reach across and hold Jason’s hand. He stayed only long enough for me to drift away last night, then disappeared out the window, leaving me safely tucked up in bed. I could sense Falcon nearby, despite the hour being too early for him to be on duty. I wanted to rap on my door and ask if David had unlocked it, but I wasn’t really sure I wanted to know.
The mother of nature called to me from the forest outside, her angelic voice a whispering patter among the rain. She wanted to see me, needed to see me. But unless I jumped from the balcony, I would remain a princess in a tower, guarded by a dragon, for who knew how long.
Or maybe not as long as I thought. . .
The door latch clicked then and I drew the sheets to my chest, sitting up a little as it swung open and David ushered the butler in.
“Morning, My Queen.” The old man bowed, placing a tray at my feet.
“Morning, Edgar.”
He smiled again and turned, leaving the room quickly.
“David,” I called before he shut the door.
“What?”
“You’re not planning to lock me in here again, are you?”
He looked at the door handle, then at me. “From this day on, you will eat in private quarters. You may leave your room for council and court sessions only and, for anything else, you will need my approval.”
“You’re imprisoning me!”
“I’m keeping you out of my sight so I don’t kill you and, in turn, the child you’re carrying.”
“David?”
He sighed, opening the door again. “What?”
“I made a mistake, but I don’t deserve to die for it.”
“I disagree.”
“Look, if you wanted to punish me, it’s working. I feel like hell inside, okay?” I motioned to my tight chest. “It feels like you’ve ripped every part of my beating heart out and put it in a blender. But I’m a living being, and I can only take so much.”
“So, what? Because I don’t have a heartbeat, that means you can do whatever you want to hurt m—”
“That’s not what I’m saying.” I pushed the covers back and sat up on my knees, holding the ‘I am queen; now do as I say’ card back for if really needed. “I . . . I know you hate me. You have every right to. But please don’t lock me away. I’ll stay out of sight, I swear. I—”
“Wait, how did you get your dress off?”
I looked around the room. “I . . . I ripped it.”
He frowned.
“It was too tight,” I lied, shrugging innocently.
He just groaned and backed away, leaving the door open. I wasn’t sure if that meant I could come out, but I even if it didn’t, I wasn’t staying in here any longer. I grabbed my red velvet cloak from the closet, undressed, and darted from the room. There was only one place on this earth I was safe from the wrath of David’s broken heart, no matter what, and if he wanted me gone, invisible, then that’s where I planned to stay—at least for the rest of the day.
The mother offered comfort as I cried my eyes out, lying naked, curled in a ball at the base of the Stone, my bloody hand against it. The forest swarmed around me, birds and small animals showing themselves, forming a protective barrier between me and the rest of the world. I knew the depth of my agony was multiplied by a million hormones my body didn’t understand, but that didn’t make the pain any less real.
“What do I do, Mother?” I whispered.
“I already gave you the answer.”
“When?”
“When you came to us and asked the question.”
“The question?” I thought about it for a second, scraping a few leaves off my cheek to stop the slight itch there. “Do you mean when you said Jason was the answer?”
“Yes.”
I pictured that day—his smile—the way he broke when I said I would never be with him. “How is he the answer?”
“Finally,” she said, appearing atop the stone in the elegant form of her mortal self. “You’ve asked the right question.”
I sat up, drawing my bloodied hand away from the Stone and tucking it in my lap. The dirt and leaves shifted under me, cushioning my bare bottom, while the rich scent of soil grounded my floating heart. “Then tell me. Just tell me what I’m supposed to do.”
“You’re supposed to follow your heart.”
“My heart still wants David.”
She smiled, her blue eyes, so like mine, shining bright with the life of the forest. “You are destined to be with Jason, Auress. It has been written now for some time.”
“No.” I shook my head, standing up quickly. “I love him. I can’t help but to love him. He’s amazing and kind and sweet, but it’s not right.”
She just nodded, her thin smile offering me no alternative.
“It’ll kill David.”
“No,” she said. “It will save him.”
“How so?”
“When the time comes, the love you offer that boy—that sweet Jason—will give him the strength and courage to save you all.”
“Save us?”
Her head moved down, then up, slowly.
“So . . . I have to love him to save David.” I frowned, looking down at the Stone. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Very little does in life before we cross the line of Fate and see everything for the lesson or important event it always was. Even the tiniest setback in life can often be for the greatest benefit.”
“But it is to our benefit—to be with Jase?”
“To the benefit of all.” Her form wavered a little as the cut in my hand healed over and the blood on the Stone faded.
“But . . . wait.” I tried to touch her to bring her back. “I’m not ready to let go of David yet.”
“Then talk with him,” she said, becoming an echo and nothing more than a flickering fog. “He will help you cross sides.”
“How?”
“Talk with him. You will be surer of your path every time you hear him speak.”
“But—” I stopped when my words fell on an empty forest. “I don’t want to lose him,” I muttered to myself. I didn’t want this path. I loved Jason because he was hard not to love. But I loved David no matter what, even when I hated him.
Why would the mother of Life ask me to throw that away?
I spent the better part of the day pacing the halls, thinking about my walk in the forest. When I passed Walt near the Great Hall and he said David had gone into town, I took the perfect opportunity to go and visit with Jase, who still hadn’t come out of his room. He hadn’t been locked in, like me, but he was keeping a low profile.