“And she believed them?” I asked.
Emily nodded. “Just “boys being boys” was what they said. But—”
“But?”
“They looked at me like I was nothing,” Emily said. “I think they thought that, because my name had been drawn, I wanted it or something, you know?”
I could only drop my head against my fingertips, shocked but also not surprised.
“And that’s how David and I became friends.”
My forehead crinkled. “How?”
“He ran up to me the next day at school and said that what happened wasn’t fair. He said he’d make sure those guys never touched me again.”
“What did he do to them?”
Emily shrugged. “But they never touched me again.”
Jase’s eyes shrunk with a knowing smile.
“After that, we started hanging out more, you know. He and I, we . . . well, we just kind of got along really well.”
“You mean because you ignored all his dark ways?” I said.
“Yeah, kinda.” Her gaze went distant. “But, word had gotten out that I was frigid, and people started picking on me. Those jocks were the least of my problems then, and I was even kicked out of the cheerleading squad.”
“So, lemme get this straight.” I held my hand up. “You nearly get raped by a bunch of boys, and you end up the outcast?”
“Yup,” she said. “Until the night of Summer’s birthday party.”
“What happened then?”
“I walked into her house, and everyone just stared at me. But . . . I always went to Summer’s party. I just never even imagined I’d be uninvited, you know? She was my best friend at the time.”
I nodded, taking her hand again.
“One of the guys told me to get out, and David comes running up, grabs my hand and says, ‘She’s with me’. And that was it. That was the last time anyone ever picked on me. On Monday, at school, Summer came up and said I was back on the team.”
“So, they thought you were going out with him?”
“No. They knew he didn’t date anyone. But they knew he was ‘okay’ with me. So they kind of had to be too, but I knew they were all faking it.”
“And that’s why you were so quick to jump on all the new kids.” I nodded to myself, thinking back to our first day. “Because you didn’t have any real friends left?”
“Yeah, and . . . it kind of made me latch on to David in a lot of ways, too, since he was the only one who was genuinely nice to me. Well—” She brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. “Sometimes.”
“And that’s how you ended up having sex?”
“No.” She looked at Jason and they both smiled. “David could be really horrible when he wanted. I mean, he was nice in the David-sort-of-way, but he’d make me feel stupid and worthless and, for some reason, that only made me want him more.”
I cringed along with her, knowing too well how easy it was to fall into that.
“Bad thing was, I didn’t care what he did to hurt my feelings because, on the days he was nice, it far outweighed all the horrid things he said.”
“She was traumatised by what those jocks nearly did to her, Ara,” Jason said. “She had no one to talk to that even believed her, aside from David.”
“Even my own mother didn’t believe me,” Emily said.
“The only other person who did was your dad, Ara.”
I saw my dad’s face in my mind—saw the way Emily used to look at him, and it all made sense.
“Things weren’t good for me at home,” she continued. “I tried to go hang out with David as much as possible, but he likes his space, you know.”
I nodded.
“And he had rules,” she said, her thoughts making her eyes distant. “I broke one of those rules, and that’s what started everything.”
“What rule?”
“I wasn't allowed to tell anyone I was at his house.”
“Why?”
“Just in case he killed her,” Jason said.
“Oh.”
Emily shivered a little, her hand tightening on mine. “Anyway, one afternoon my mom got in my face about a few things, and I stormed out. She asked where I was going and, without thinking, told her I was going over to David’s. But, when I got there, he was in one of his moods, as usual. And when he found out that I’d told my mom where I was, he was so mad that I actually got scared. So, I left and told him I never wanted to see him again. He demanded I come back, but I didn’t. Later, he showed up at my house.”
“Long story short,” Jason said, “Emily was his little lamb—the wide-eyed innocent creature that would follow him anywhere. For her to stand up to him like that—” Jase shook his head, exhaling. “He needed the upper hand again. He needed control of her.”
Emily shrunk a little more. “He was my first, Ara. And I really—” She closed her eyes for a second, her lips turning down so deeply her chin crinkled. “Really wish I could take it all back.”
“Does he?”
“Does he what?”
“Does he regret it?”
“Why do you think he never wanted you to know?” Jason said.
“Was . . . did he ever plan to turn her?” I asked. “Knowing she’d die after being bound to him.”
Jason shook his head. “He’s done this to so many girls, Ara. I’ve lost count.”
“What?”
“Every time he took his biannual leave, a trail of girls were left in his wake—usually committing suicide within about two months of him leaving.”
“And you were gonna be his next tragic summer romance,” Emily said. “Lucky for you, he fell in love with you instead.”
All the pictures of my past flitted to mind, so bright with the yellow light of the sun that every breath of summer filled me with nothing but joy, suddenly dying under the rolling cloud of revelation. But I wasn’t that surprised, not after everything I’d learned about him since the day we met. I’d seen the signs. I knew what kind of man he was. I also knew he was remorseful. Yet it hurt so deeply that he didn’t tell me any of this. And I just wanted to smack him. “Why would he lie to me? I asked him directly if he’d been with you. Why didn't he just tell me the truth?”
“To be honest, Ara,” Jason said, “he regrets it all so deeply he can’t even say the words.”