“The moment he fell for you, all that human compassion he’d pushed aside came rushing to the surface,” Emily said. “And he was dead ashamed of himself. He still is.”
David’s own words rang through me then, healing a small chunk of my heart, but not enough for me to forget the lies: Love me for who I am now, not what I was then. “Why is he so ashamed? Just for sleeping with you?” I kind of laughed. “You’re not that hideous, Emily.”
She laughed too, but the smile fell away quickly and she just sat there toying with the hem of her dress. “It was more because of . . . how it happened.”
My eyes flicked unconsciously onto Jason, who bit his lip. “Jase? How did it happen?”
“He—”
“It’s something you need to ask him,” Emily cut in.
“Em, you know he’ll never tell me.”
“Then you’ll never know,” she said, holding my gaze.
Jason’s green eyes stood out in my peripheral, slightly warmed with a hint of a smile he could never erase, but cold with the concern he had for me right then. I held Em’s gaze as long as I could, but she wasn’t backing down. Whatever David did to her, she was protecting him, and I wanted to know why.
“Fine?” I said, standing up. “Don’t tell me. I’ll ask him.”
“Ara?” Jason called.
“Don’t.” I heard Emily say. “Just let her go.”
“But she shouldn’t be near him, he might—”
I stopped listening. I just didn’t care what David might do. My limbs were driven by a force much stronger than fear or curiosity; they were driven by undiluted anger—years worth of lies and betrayal all rolling into one giant ball of fury.
I slept with Jase, and that was bad, yeah, but this . . . well, at least I didn’t knowingly carry the lie from beginning to end.
***
“Ara?” Arthur called as I passed at full human speed on the stairwell. “Where are you going?”
“To find David.”
“He’s in his new room. Is everything all right?”
My fists clenched tighter by my sides. “No.”
“Ara, wait?” he called, but I didn’t wait. I marched step by step to the third floor and turned the corner, seeing David by the window outside his room; he stood in casual clothes with his hands in his pockets, his troubled gaze on the yard below. The afternoon sun lit his face, making his hair glow with those golden tones I’d always loved, and it just made the pain go so much deeper. He’d turn and look at me, maybe hear what I had to say, but his eyes would never smile at me again. I’d never see love there again.
He laid something on the windowsill, looking up in shock when he saw me coming. “Ara?”
“You ass**le!” I lashed out to slap him across the face, but he spun and grabbed my wrist before contact, hooking his foot under my ankle to flip me onto the floor at his feet.
“What are you doing, Ara?”
“Let go of me.” I wriggled out of his grip. “I'm so mad at you. You looked me in the eye, and you lied to me.”
He stood back, his eyes shrinking, focusing then smiling as realisation flooded through him. “Hurts, doesn't it?”
I hugged my knee to my chest. “Yes.”
“Good. I'm glad they told you. I'm glad it’s out now, and it couldn’t have come at better time.”
“Why?”
“Because you deserve to suffer. What I did was a long time ago. I never even knew you then, so you have no right to comment. But what you did, well—” He shook his head. “You pretty much deserve to burn in hell, you worthless little whore.”
I looked up quickly into his icy green eyes. “How can you say that to me?”
“Easy. I have absolutely no care anymore for how you feel.” He jammed his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels. “It’s rather liberating, really.”
I made myself smaller.
“Oh, get up.” He dragged me to stand. “Don't sit there and wallow in it. No one’s going to care.”
I jerked my arm from his grip. “That’s where you’re wrong. People do care about me, David. Some of them care no matter what mistakes I’ve made.”
“Guess they’re the fools then, aren't they?”
“No.” I turned away. “They’re ones worthy of my love in return.”
“Didn’t know that was possible,” he scoffed.
My footsteps halted. I spun slowly around and marched back up to him. “You know what? You’re a jerk, and the truth is, I do have a right to be hurt about what you did to Emily—”
“To Emily?” he cut in. “You mean with Emily.”
“No. I mean to. Because I don’t think it was consensual. The way she talked about it—”
“What did she say?” He grabbed my arm.
“Why would you ask that?” I peeled his fingers off me. “If it was mutual, then—”
“So you think I raped her?”
“Not raped her.” I held his gaze. “I know you, and despite you having been this monster in your past, I would never label you something horrid. But I don’t believe she wanted to do it wholeheartedly. And I don’t believe you cared all that much.”
“Well, I don’t really care what you think.” He gazed out the window again, severing the conversation.
“It’s not my opinion that matters here, David. It’s the facts. You used her. You took her virginity so you could control her.”
“Perhaps I did. So what?”
“Had you told me you slept with her before we started dating, I would have been okay with it. I would have,” I repeated when he grunted. “Had you told me you forced her so you could make her do whatever you wanted. . .” I took a few steps away from him. “I would’ve avoided you like the plague.”
He looked up at me.
“You’re sick,” I added, my lip lifting in disgust. “And everything you’ve done—the way you’ve acted since I told you the truth about Jason and I, has only proven to me that nothing about that monster you were back then has really changed. And a part of me, David—” I looked him in the eye for a very long moment, “—is glad you broke it off with me, because I can’t stand to look at you now.”
“Get back here, Ara!” he yelled as I walked away. “Ara!”