He went to say something, closing his mouth with a little pop after, his shoulders sinking. “Yes. If it’s just an ear you need, of course.”
I turned and glanced back at Emily. “Thanks, Em. I’ll be okay.”
“I get it.” She reversed away. “Not for my ears.”
“It’s for your own protection.”
“More like so I won’t tell David.”
“No, Em,” I started, but she disappeared.
“Forget it, Ara. If that’s the attitude she has, she’s better off outside the circle of trust.”
I nodded. “She’s just got her nose out of joint.”
“Yes, well, she’s also still very close to David. Anything you don’t want him to know, you probably shouldn't tell her.”
“She’d never say anything to him.”
“No, but he can read her mind.”
“Yes.” I looked at my shoes. “I really hate that ‘special connection’ they have.”
Falcon laughed through his nose. “It’s pretty odd. Drives Blade crazy, too.”
“Has he told her, yet—that he’s. . .”
“No,” he said, his lips staying in the shape of the O for a bit too long. “And you’d better not say anything, either.”
I crossed my heart. “I won’t.”
“Good. Now—” He laid his hand firmly on my shoulder, almost like a gentle slap. “What’s got you so upset?”
I looked back into the Great Hall. “Not here. Okay?”
“Okay. Bedroom.”
We walked in silence up to my room and, once there, Falcon barely even shut the door before I broke down and told him the whole story—everything I needed off my chest and everything I wasn’t allowed to tell him, even about Morgana. I let it all pour out.
And he just stood there while I paced back and forth, holding as still as a statue until I finished and looked at him, tears streaming down my cheeks and said, “So? What do I do?”
“I—” He stumbled clumsily backward and sat down on my blanket box, rubbing the tops of his thighs. “Ara, I’m so sorry. I don’t know where to start.”
I wiped my face, just waiting for a word of wisdom or maybe even comfort.
“Have you told David any of this?”
“No.”
“And you won’t?”
“No.”
“Mike?”
I laughed. “God, no.”
He laughed, too, then stood up and wandered over, drawing me in for a very needed hug. His big hand squeezed my hair flat to the back of my neck while the other rubbed my back, just leaving everything unsaid for a few moments. “You poor kid.”
I sunk into him a bit more then, drying the corner of my eye on his shirt.
“I just . . . I’m so sorry he killed your mom.”
“Me too.”
“But. . .” He looked down at me, leaving his hand on the side of my neck. “You know that’s not your fault, right?”
“But I—”
“No.” His grip tightened. “Drake chose to kill her. Drake lost Anandene and he created a contract, and everything he has done in pursuit of that is on his head, Ara, not yours. You did not do this.”
“I want to believe that, but if I’d never—”
“Then believe it. Because if I thought you were to blame, I’d tell you that, counsel you on that. But you’re not. No matter how much you convince yourself, Ara, you didn’t kill her. You were a spoiled teenage brat, but that wasn’t the reason she died. Drake was the reason.”
“Yeah, to force me into Dad’s custody.”
He shook his head. “Stop trying to lay blame where it won’t fit.”
I stared at the floor, reversing the situation in my head. What would I say to him if this were his problem? “You’re right. You are. I know you are. The fact is, Drake ordered her death, like she was some pawn. And he needs to pay.”
“Yes, he does.”
“I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna go over there right now, and I’m—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, little lady. Let’s not go that far just yet.” He steadied me with a stop-sign hand. “Control those crazy pregnancy hormones.” He laughed, making me laugh a bit, too. “You have nothing to back you here. If you go against him, he’ll take your soul and give it back to Lilith. He has the dagger, remember.”
“So, what am I supposed to do?” I shrugged, hands out. “Just let him get away with this?”
“No. But don’t go rushing in there waving the sword of revenge,” he said. “We have eighteen years to devise a plan. Let’s be smart about this.”
“But,” I started, then stopped, shaking my head. He was right again. “See?” I pouted mockingly, bringing one shoulder up. “This is why I always come to you. You’re good at this.”
He grinned. “No, I’m good at Ara-Control.”
I laughed. “So, any ideas on how we can get revenge?”
“Yeah, wait until little bubba is born.” He touched my belly. “And then we’ll discuss it. But I want her safe and alive before we do anything that might put you or your soul at risk.”
“You mean Lilith’s soul,” I said spitefully.
“No.” He grabbed both my shoulders again. “Your soul. She gave it to you—well, your mother gave it to you. Possession is nine-tenths of the law, don’t you know?” He grinned.
“Yeah, but right now I’m possessed by a raw need for vengeance.”
He laughed, throwing his head back a bit, and the tension in the room eased so much then. Even my own need to cry had lifted, the weight a little less overbearing, especially since I knew that pathetic attempt at a joke wasn’t even funny.
“We’ll sort this out, m’kay?” He looked me in the eye, lowering his chin a little to prompt a response.
“Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Falcon.”
“Any time.” He stood back again. “And what about Morgana? What are you doing with her?”
“Keeping an eye on her. That’s all I can do.”
He nodded in agreement, taking a really deep, shoulder-lifting breath. “What a mess.”
“You’re telling me.”
We both laughed then, more to blow out the tension than because of amusement. And Falcon just smiled, standing tall again like the knight I’d come to respect so much, his expression alight with a mix of compassion and something else I didn’t recognise. “You might want to consider telling David some of what you told me.”