“Riley, god damn it, stop!” Garrett yelled at the top of his lungs. Seriously f**k all of these guys!
Garrett grabbed a hold of my arm and pulled me to him. He was sweaty and still flushed from his serious case of roid rage. “Look, I’m sorry all right. That was out of line. But f**king hell, Harry Potter over there needs to keep his hands to himself. He has no right touching you,” he said furiously.
I laughed. A bitter and humorless sound.
“And you do?” I asked incredulously.
Garrett leaned in close as though he were going to kiss me and damn it, I found myself leaning into him and my eyes started to close. “You’re damn right I do. If anyone is going to touch this body, it’s going to be me and no one else,” he swore pushing his hair back off of his face.
His eyes raked over me and I couldn’t help but tingle under his scrutiny. I narrowed my eyes to cover up the fact that having him in such close proximity was doing a number on my lady parts.
“I’m trying to be understanding. I’m trying to be patient. But Riley, I can’t sit back and forget about everything that happened between us. I know you’re hurting and angry and going through those stages of grief but I’m here, damn it,” Garrett said softly, thankfully dropping his voice to a volume that only I could hear. Because our audience was still entirely too fixated on what was happening between us.
“I never asked you to be patient. Look, I’m sorry if you thought that just because we slept together a few times that meant we were together or something. But I’m busy. I’ve got school. And you’ve got your…” I looked around, my lip curling. “Well you have this, don’t you?” I asked with more than a bit of condescension.
Yes folks, I was being a bitch. And yes it was messed up. And maybe I was being a world-class idiot. But all I could see when I looked at Garrett right then was a guy who didn’t fit. I wasn’t blind to everything else that he was. But this man had the power to hurt me. He could crush my heart. And I was sure my heart wouldn’t bend, it would snap in two.
I was a girl hanging on by a thread. A girl whose only lifeline was the goals she had set for herself.
I was already hurting. I was already a short jump away from falling off the edge. And Garrett Bellows stood there with his heart in his eyes, asking me to skip over it with him.
I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t.
I needed safe. I needed something I could depend on. And a relationship between Garrett and I would be entirely too messy.
Riley Walker didn’t do messy.
Garrett’s head snapped back as though I had slapped him and the warmth in his eyes cooled. “Wow, you sure know how to cut a guy at the knees,” he said sharply.
I said nothing.
Garrett watched my face, as if looking for that girl who had fallen asleep in his arms. The girl who had given him her body as though he were the only guy in the world. And certainly the only one that mattered.
Well that girl had been locked away and I wasn’t planning to let her out again anytime soon.
“I had planned on fighting for this, Riley. Because I thought it was something we both wanted. I know you’re feeling lost. You’re hurting. I wanted to be that guy to help hold you together. I thought, maybe we could start healing each other.” There was a catch in Garrett’s voice and he had to look away.
I swallowed around the lump in my throat and felt my resolve waver. “Garrett…” I began, not knowing exactly what I was going to say.
Garrett turned back at me and smiled. A smile that was lackadaisical and said I-couldn’t-give-a-shit. Clearly, he knew how he was going to play this. After all, our roles had been defined early on. We had simply gotten lost in the temporary insanity brought on by lust and vulnerability.
“My bad,” Garrett stated, walking past me and back toward the stage.
I turned toward the crowd and wanted to scream. Everyone stared at me. Maysie’s eyes were wide, her mouth a perfect ‘o.’ Jaz stood off to the side, her arms crossed and a self-satisfied smirk on her face. Jordan looked concerned but annoyed as well.
And Damien, well, he was looking at me as though I had crushed all of his dreams.
Screw this.
I pushed through the press of people to get to the kitchen. I grabbed my stuff and left through the side door, ignoring the expected catcalls from Paco and Fed. I didn’t even bother giving them the finger, as I normally did.
I felt like I had been run over by a bus. All I could think of was the look on Garrett’s face as I cut him down.
No. I had done the right thing. We didn’t belong together and pretending otherwise would only be prolonging the inevitable heartbreak. That was not the life I wanted for myself.
“Riley!” I rubbed at my temples, trying to stop the impending headache. I caught sight of Gracie hurrying toward me.
Gracie stopped as she reached my car, out of breath and looking at me strangely. “You’re leaving?” she asked and I gave her a funny look. I waved my hand toward my car.
“That would be why I’m holding my keys and standing in front of my car,” I answered, trying to keep a reign on the sarcasm.
Gracie looked at me uncomfortably. “You and Garret, huh?” she asked in a tiny voice and I wanted to shut my eyes in shame.
“I’m sorry, G. I know you like him…” I began but she held up her hand.
“Don’t, Riley. Seriously, just don’t. It’s not like I planned for him to be the father of my kids or anything.” Gracie’s mouth twisted and I knew that she was more hurt than she let on. How could I, in all of the Garrett mess, had forgotten that my good friend liked him? Where was my sense of loyalty?
What happened to the girl credo Chicks before dicks? I felt like a heel. A total and complete jackass.
“I know, but I shouldn’t have…you know. I wasn’t thinking. The first time I was drunk. And then he was there after Dad and it just sort of happened. I really am sorry,” I said quietly.
Gracie shook her head and her smile was as fake as her knockoff Coach purse. “You’re my friend, Riley. I’m not mad at you. You’re going through a rough time. I’m just disappointed you didn’t tell me yourself.”
I sighed, wishing I could say something to break through the unbearable tension between us. I was a shit. I had hurt Garrett and I had hurt my friend. And for what? A couple of rolls in the hay? No sex was worth that.
“I’m an ass,” I muttered. Gracie lifted her shoulders but didn’t say anything.